Dazzer v Teaboy - Seconds Out

Nothing better illustrates the gulf between those who have made it - deservedly or otherwise - and those who haven’t, and know it all too well. So it was yesterday afternoon when posh boy Tom Harwood, formerly replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog, and since signed up by GB News, had a very public social media altercation with Darren Grimes, who had to move back up north.

Gis a job at GB News, eh? Whaddya mean No Way?

What time is it Eccles?

Because Dazzer, who had previously been very adjacent to less than totally legal behaviour in the Vote Leave camp, and whose recent achievements include losing appalling old bore David Starkey not only his credibility, but also a number of positions to which he had been appointed before complaining to Grimes about “Damn Blacks”, had not, unlike Harwood, made it in the Big City. And boy, does he look sore.

Harwood had mused “Isn't it more likely that young tech savvy Labour voters will have/be able to get IDs compared to the Tories' new working class Red Wall base?” He then added “This isn't an argument for or against voter ID. Just a pretty relevant thing to consider amongst the noise”. Grimes was looking on, and sensed his moment had come.

“We’re northern Tom, not Neanderthals” he sneered. Hardly on the scale of Patrick Cargill saying “We’re not all Rob Roys, Mr Hancock” (ask an older relative), is it? More telling was Harwood’s response: “Nice to see you've unblocked me now Darren! Maybe the next step you could take is actually reading the tweet you're trying to dunk on?”

Dazzer had blocked the Teaboy! And then it got worse, as Grimes let everyone see the steak cut chip on his shoulder. “You made a really condescending comment about voters here in the ‘red wall’ that I hope you’ll manage to shake off before you’re beamed into our homes on a daily basis. Astonishing to you, I know, but we’ll cope just fine with obtaining ID to vote, cheers Hedley Fairfax Harwood”. That’s Piers Morgan level blubbering.

Harwood, to his credit, continued to fly this one straight and level, attempting to get his point across as he countered “Hi Darren, you seem to have completely missed the point, and the data. Demographically more likely ID card law could hit new Tory voters (older, non-city dwelling) than younger city dwelling Labour voters”.

But by now, Dazzer was in full-on sneer mode. “Mate, you don’t have to be Mark Zuckerberg to go to the council for an ID. Voters up here are also much more likely to have other forms of ID such as drivers licence/bus pass so it’s a total non-point. I hope you’ll get to be introduced to some of them in your new role”. Done a survey of them, has he?

No matter, Harwood continued unperturbed. “No need for antagonism here. It’s just a fact that poorer, older voters are less likely to have ID than younger more well to do voters. It is also now more likely those voters vote Tory. That’s not a value judgement re: ID law - it’s a fact that is being missed from commentary”. Interesting point, although the FT suggested otherwise earlier this week. But what is most revealing is Grimes’ sheer bitterness.

After all, he could have been someone. He could have been a contender. But he isn’t, and won’t be. Which, although Harwood is an over-promoted posh boy, is not his fault.

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