As he was doorstepped once again earlier this week, Dominic Cummings, recently appointed chief polecat to alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, snapped back at his interrogator “You guys should get out of London. Go and talk to people who are not rich Remainers”. So is Polecat Dom not rich?
The reality is that Cummings is not merely rich, he is positively swimming in excess amounts of the folding stuff. He is also adept at getting out of London, particularly to Northumberland, where his wife’s parents live. They are Sir Edward Humphry Tyrrell Wakefield, Baronet, and his wife, the former Katherine Mary Alice Baring, elder daughter of Evelyn Baring, Baronet, and his now late wife Lady Mary Grey.
Dom’s in-laws live at Chillingham Castle, hardly the kind of petite maison allowed to the hot polloi. Their daughter Mary Elizabeth Lalange Wakefield married Cummings in 2011. Two years later, they bought a townhouse in Islington. It cost them £1,650,000. The thought occurs that such an amount would have required a hefty mortgage.
Except that Cummings and Ms Wakefield did not need a mortgage. The house was paid for in cash. Think about that. More than one and a half million quid in used notes. And there he is talking about “Rich remainers”. One, he’s the rich one, and Two, what happens regarding Brexit is not going to affect him one jot. He’s all right, Jack.
Here's where Dom's in-laws live ...
And it gets worse, although not financially: the happy couple then turned their attention to the house’s two-storey extension. This structure, to the rear of the property, was demolished and then rebuilt in 2014. And you can see the plan submitted as part of that exercise right here. Let’s go Through The Keyhole chez Polecat, shall we?
Lots of storage, a downstairs WC, a window seat from which one can look out over the “Wildlife pond”, a dining area large enough to fit in a table for eight people - could you stand a whole mealtime with Dominic Cummings? - with patio doors to the terrace, which has a significantly sized magnolia tree giving shade. No comment on that.
Then we have the kitchen, which, all those dwellers in lesser houses take note, is large enough for an island fixture including hob, and presumably oven. And finally we come to the pièce de résistance, accessed via double doors - the Tapestry Room. You read that right. Polecat Dom has a Tapestry Room in the Islington townhouse which he and his wife bought for £1,650,000 CASH six years ago. An intercoursing Tapestry Room.
... and here's his magnificent new extension (fnarr fnarr)
This is the individual who is effectively sitting in judgment on sixty million people. Who is claimed to be the real power behind the decisions of Bozo The Clown. While most people either have to rent their houses, flats and apartments, or take on the kinds of mortgages that a spike in interest rates could render cripplingly expensive, Dominic Cummings and his wife just pulled out a wad of cash and slapped it on the table. As it were.
Then they had a demolition and rebuild job done, which must have cost the odd hundred thousand or two on top. And he blusters about “Rich remainers”.
The only thing poor about Polecat Dom is his grip on reality. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
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