Why, those editors and proprietors keep asking themselves and those of like mind, are papers no longer selling in the kinds of numbers they were a decade ago? Why are all those new media outlets encroaching on our territory? Why doesn’t the public pay attention any more? Why don’t they trust us? They keep on wondering why - and then serve up the evidence showing their detachment from reality.
Yesterday, the Tory Party conference drew to a close, with Theresa May’s speech. It was, let us not drive this one around the houses for too long, an embarrassment. Little of what she said had any relevance to millions of Britons whose living standards have been gradually ground down since The Blue Team got their feet under the table in 2010. And, worst of all, that entry, with the “Dad Dancing” to Abba, was cringeworthy.
Had our free and fearless press had any grasp on reality, they would at least have tempered their reports accordingly. But no. Instead, there is wall-to-wall sycophancy this morning, the pretence that a Prime Minister making a complete clown of herself is reason to celebrate her and her party. No. Just no. Absolutely no.
The allegedly upmarket titles were not immune to this delusional idiocy, with the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph proclaiming “Dancing to a new beat: May declares an end to austerity” (she didn’t). The Murdoch Times follows suit with “May moves to end austerity … ‘Dancing Queen’ pledges billions despite Brexit uncertainty [she didn’t] … Tory MPs praise best conference speech a party leader”.
Bit of a low bar there, methinks. But the tabloids were worse. Metro - not exactly showing its independence from Daily Mail influence - announced “POLL DANCER … PM shimmies into conference speech … Blasts Corbyn and ridicules Johnson [she didn’t] … Urges Tories to back her on Brexit”. And there was worse still. Toe-curling embarrassing worse.
The Daily Mail went totally gaga as it screamed “MAMA MAY-A! To the strains of Abba, the PM danced her way back to authority with a bravura speech that savaged Corbyn, put Boris in his place [shurely ‘kennel’? - Ed] and promised an end to austerity”. All dutifully relayed on Chicken Pathé News by Bob Danvers Walker. In black and white.
But the pièce de résistance for inducing the throwing-up of breakfasts across the land comes from the joke newspaper that is the Express. “In a scintillating conference speech [this means very few delegates fell asleep], an emboldened Prime Minister yesterday truly defined how the nation can unite to ‘build a better Britain’ [no she didn’t] … and the Daily Express today says LET’S ALL DANCE TO MAY’S TUNE”.
F*** off. Just f*** off. And when you’ve all f***ed off, f*** off some more. This pointless exposition from the turd-polishers’ alliance will convince no-one outside the comfort of the hermetically sealed media bubble. At least two of Ms May’s MPs have already demanded a leadership contest. There will be more. The Tories are irretrievably split on Brexit. People are not convinced by more empty promises. This is a dead Government walking.
Today’s front page detachment from reality hammered another nail into the credibility of the press establishment. It is a sad and pathetic sight. And entirely of their own making.
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Was the hall full, for a change? Did they manage to fill all those embarrassingly empty seats of previous days?
Possibly the reason she was ‘dancing’ was because one of the faithful was shooting at her feet, old wild west style. And talking of shooting (see what I did there?) if she went out and shot Thicky Johnson do you think the papers would be torn between rejoicing wholeheartedly and being upset?
Marina Hyde had a Tory Conference opinion piece in The Guardian headlined "It's Theresa May Versus The Great Twatsby ...". Shortly after publishing online, the banner was changed and T G T became B J.
There's no need for the media and tories to fuck off just now.
Come the election, it's looking increasingly likely the electorate will do it for them.
Whoever does their pr (read:lies) for them needs to see the fate of the "strong and stable" bullshit. A politician "dancing" like an arthritic crab has to be the sweaty desperation low mark thus far.
As defeat looms, pull up a chair for the unintentionally comic suicide ritual. The world is changing and the tories and their media can't handle it.
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