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Saturday 24 April 2021

Let Sleeping Polecats Lie

There was clearly an agreement, probably unwritten, between alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and former Downing Street polecat Dominic Cummings: Bozo wouldn’t sound off about Dom, and in return Dom wouldn’t sound off about Bozo. Thus an uneasy peace was maintained. Until yesterday.

Bozo, or someone on his behalf, had briefed the Murdoch press, and indeed the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, that Cummings was the one who had been leaking against the PM, thus demonstrating that the Mail on Sunday’sRedthroat” story was, as I said at the time, a complete heap of steaming bullpucky.

The Polecat did not merely claim that he had not been leaking, but that he couldn’t have leaked the texts (between Bozo and James Dyson) because he didn’t have them. Worse still, he told the world that Bozo was lying (no change there, then) and raised the PM by claiming Bozo had toyed with shutting down a leak inquiry as it might have confirmed that the real leaker was Henry Newman - a best pal of Bozo’s fiancĂ©e Carrie Symonds.

And yet worse was Cummings’ claim that Bozo may have considered using Tory Party donations to pay for refurbishing the 11 Downing Street flat - which also leads back to Ms Symonds, who, it seems, was so in favour of it being refurbished. So why did Bozo pick the scrap he did not need to pick, and which will now not go away easily?

Sam Coates at Sky News shed some light on that for us yesterday evening. “Boris Johnson [is] ten points ahead of Labour in the polls. He’s likely to do quite well in the May elections. There’s no single crisis at the top of the Government’s agenda. That was before Boris Johnson personally picked up the phone to newspaper editors yesterday to blame Dominic Cummings for leaking against his Government”. There was more.

Clearly the subject of his former advisor niggles away at the Prime Minister, gets under his skin, and Dominic Cummings responded in kind”. Now, Bozo has opened the Polecat version of Pandora’s Boz, and although his personal popularity, and his ability to lie through his teeth as a matter of routine, will initially be unaffected, he’s picked an opponent who is more than prepared to turn this into a long and drawn out war of attrition.

Why did he do it? It looks increasingly as if Bozo is becoming paranoid. What may be making him paranoid is a case of “you may wish to ask that - I couldn’t possibly comment”. And there is one group of people for whom this battle presents its own problems: our free and fearless press. Many right-leaning hacks and pundits are fully invested in The Adoration Of The Boris. But they are also fans of the Polecat. Now they must choose.

Do they back the presently popular, yet flagrantly dishonest, unprincipled and apparently paranoid Bozo, or the not at present popular, flagrantly dishonest and seriously wacko Polecat? Which way will the increasingly alt-right Spectator magazine, where Cummings’ wife Mary Wakefield is a commissioning editor, jump? What about the Telegraph?

Will the Murdoch press try to revive the chances of their man, Michael “Oiky” Gove, securing The Top Job, with or without Sarah “Vain” Vine in tow?

Only one person can defeat Bozo. Himself. And he may just have declared war.

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AndyC said...

I might, and I say might, just have to readdress my opinion of Cummings. Good to see him dishing the dirt on Johnson, even if it is a bit pot & kettle.

Unknown said...

One of those occasions where one could fervently hope that both sides lose! Or do the Kilkenny Cats thing and disappear altogether.
Actually underlines how truly witless Borisconi is, so much for his highly tuned political instincts.

Simon said...

For all that Cummings is an equally reprehensible individual as Johnson, he is at least intelligent. Given that Johnson was so obviously his sock puppet, it was always going to end this way, I'm just surprised it's happened so soon.

Arnold said...

From the Mail -

Boris Johnson is shamed into paying £58,000 bill for the Downing Street refurbishment himself
I thought he claimed to be boracic.

Mr Larrington said...

If this Henry Newman character is the guilty party then one had to ask how the muddy flip he got to know about the whole sordid business. Obviously the word “confidential” was one Bloody Stupid Johnson missed when he was memorising Roget.

Anonymous said...

Cummings is getting his revenge on Johnson, after Johnson, finally realising that a deal with Europe was necessary, dumped our 'disaster capitalist' late last year. Cummings knows where all the bodies are buried and has no loyalty to Johnson or the Tories as a whole. No doubt there are loads of embarrassing and damaging leaks to come. This should be fun.

Dr Paul

Jonathan said...

Pencil in the 26th May, as the Dom is appearing before a Select Committee, where he has promised to turn over all his emails/texts to the committee..

Let war commence...

RodJ said...

We would be better off if we were governed by children.

Pendragon said...

Suppose Cummings is a true Conservative loyalist who wants them to win a snap general election in, say, 2023. Suppose he has calculated that by then the public will have started seeing Johnson for what he really is---and who knows that better than Cummings?---and will no longer vote for him.
The obvious solution is to get rid of Johnson and replace him with someone the public will trust. Maybe Cummings is conducting an experiment by releasing damaging revelations about Johnson a fortnight before the local elections to see if they reduce the Conservative vote. If the vote is reduced, then Cummings has shown the Conservative Party that Johnson is a liability to them and needs to go.
Maybe Cummings could try the experiment in a year's time at the next set of local elections with new revelations.

Anonymous said...

This standard factional saga is already generating even more sophist bullshit in old media. Especially while they're trying to maintain blue or red crackpot toryism.

For most sane citizens it can be boiled down to this: I hope the gang of far right racist lying thieving tory cunts batter the living shites out of each other.

That about covers it.

grim northerner said...

Brilliant stuff Mr Fenton, as ever.