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Friday 23 April 2021

Greta PWNS Bozo - Dead Cat Fails

Once again, our free and fearless press shows that its obscenely overpaid “stars” are good at taking dictation, but terminally useless at investigative journalism. Worse, all the might of the Tory-supporting papers and other media outlets has failed totally to hide the inconvenient fact that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson was well and truly Pwned yesterday afternoon by an 18-year-old girl.

Bozo The Clown (for it was he) participated in yesterday’s Climate Summit, which for reasons best known to the right-wing press has not been given the coverage it merits, with the Telegraph, Mail and Sun not giving it a front page mention at all. This may not be unconnected to Bozo’s singularly unfortunate choice of bon mots in his address.

Rather than playing it straight, Bozo had to play the clown. And so it came to pass: “It’s vital for all of us to show that this is not all about some expensive, politically correct, green act of … er … of … er … of bunny hugging”. Soil the bed, did he say that to his fellow world leaders? “Er, or, er, however you want to put it, I call it bunny hugging, but you know what I’m driving at, friends and colleagues”. What a complete and utter numpty.

And as if that act of national humiliation were not enough, he was about to be put in his place by someone his press pals have devoted rather a lot of time to rubbishing. It was not long before Greta Thunberg changed her Twitter bio to read “Bunny hugger”. OUCH!

But if attention could be diverted elsewhere, Bozo being Pwned by Greta might be forgotten. And so that too came to pass, as the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, still pretending to be a real journalist and claiming to be political editor of the Murdoch Sun (which means he can’t be both), told his followersHold on to your hats, folks”.

Someone had been taking dictation, the results then splashed across the Sun’s front page. “Exclusive: PM accuses ex-adviser of leaks … BORIS: DOM’S A TEXT MANIAC”. So exclusive it also led the Times front page, and indeed that of the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph. So the presence that last weekend had been dubbed “Redthroat” was now Polecat Dom. But once again, this doesn’t hold water. Not a drop.

Cummings is no longer in Government, so if he really is behind the leaks (doubtful), then security needs more than a little tightening up. Which might be something for the minister in charge at the Cabinet Office to deal with. Who might that be? Ah well: that would be Michael “Oiky” Gove, Cummings’ past champion, who has been conspicuous by his absence for the past few days. Gove is apparently out of the country right now.

If anyone’s leaking, it’s far more likely to be Gove tipping the wink to his press pals than Cummings. Which is why the press has failed once more to distinguish itself by taking dictation and not asking the obvious questions. Or stopping and thinking that Bozo is taking them all for mugs with his dead cat just to save his blushes.

Stop looking at Polecat Dom, press people. And start telling your readers the truth: that our alleged Prime Minister is such an international embarrassment that he just got handed his fat arse by an 18-year-old whose first language is not English.

Greta Pwned Bozo. And the dead cat ain’t making it. I’ll just leave that one there.

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Arnold said...

“Er, or, er, however you want to put it, I call it bunny hugging, but you know what I’m driving at, friends and colleagues”.

They're fellow world leaders. Not colleagues and probably not friends. I think he's basically insecure to have so many imaginary friends.

Rosie said...

We wondered what Putin's face might have looked like when he heard the translation of 'bunny hugger'.

Anonymous said...

If anyone looks like a "bunny hugger" it's Biden - especially when Biden Junior's looking for the next carpet-bagging "opportunity".

Meanwhile, given rituals at the Bullingdon Bullshitters, Bozo's more likely to be a "bunny shagger".

My bet is Putin's laughing his head off. Who needs to "interfere" while the West is owned and run by utter buffoons like Bozo and sleepy no-marks like Biden.

Arnold said...

But the inquiry will not examine a string of other leaks, including a text to the prime minister from the Saudi crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, or leaked emails about donations solicited to cover the renovations of the prime minister’s flat.


So it's excluding leaks after Dom's departure. Although Occam's reazor suggests only one mole.

Anonymous said...

"... politically correct, green act of ... er ... of ... er ... of bunny hugging".

Seriously? What a complete and utter fucking idiot. Put in his place by a kid who clearly has more intellect and decency in the tip of her pinky than he does in his whole rancid, blubbering excuse for a body.

Steve Woods said...

The Green Party also joined in with the general mockery of Johnson, tweeting:

To do list: Make lunch, hug bunnies, join the Green Party.