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Friday 8 July 2022

Rewriting The History Of Bozo

Now that Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson is - supposedly - on his way out of Downing Street, but not just yet, the right leaning part of our free and fearless press has decided to immediately go into turd-polishing overdrive and tell their readers just what a loss Bozo will be to, well, something, even if it isn’t good governance, a subject about which he cared not a jot.

This is premature in the extreme, given Bozo’s determination to hang around Number 10 like the most rank of bad smells, a permanently present wet eggy fart, perhaps followed by Carrie brandishing a can of air freshener. Why the press is so anxious to cover for this gut-dropping Pen And Ink can be put directly: they need to get their gaslighting of the electorate in first.

In pursuit of this shameless rewriting of history, the Mail has today continued the pretence that Bozo was at any time a barely competent politician, instead of an amateur human being, whining “Day Tories lost their marbles … With a consoling hug from Carrie and Wilf, Boris is cast out by a party in the grip of collective hysteria. Keir Starmer is cock-a-hoop”. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If Starmer is “cock-a-hoop”, to use the Mail’s happy phrase, it is because he has been cleared of wrongdoing over the so-called “Beergate” gathering, over which the Mail had already declared him guilty - several times. But do go on. “Corks will be popping in Brussels - and Moscow”. Bullshit. Nobody will bat an eyelid in “Brussels”, and “Moscow” may not be so happy.

Not given the potential kompromat which may exist, following Bozo’s attendance at more than one of the Lebedevs’ Bunga Bunga parties. But the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker aren’t finished. “And the Tories don’t have a clue who should replace him … WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY DONE? Tory MPs were warned last night they would ‘rue the day’ they forced Boris Johnson out”. But enough. We know why the Mail is in mourning.

Bozo was one of their own: not only was he a journalist - for some value of journalist - he looked after the press. Covid payments, or, for the more cynically minded, bungs, were showered over the Fourth Estate. The press would be exempt from sanctions proposed in the Online Harms Bill, which with any luck will now fall, along with the rest of Bozo’s worthless legacy.

The gaslighting also includes the idea that Brexit was somehow something of benefit to the UK, with the Murdoch Sun telling readers “thanks for Brexit, Boris”. Tell that to the people whose living standards are already in steep decline, those facing steepling energy bills, and higher food costs.

Worse, as the press carries on in this way, it shows that it is not interested in the news part of it all. It’s just propaganda, which the Daily Brexit, still called the Express, has been that much more honest about, telling its remaining readership “THANK YOU BORIS … YOU GAVE BRITAIN BACK ITS FREEDOM”. Hollow laughter will be following right behind that one.

What freedom is that, then? Freedom to watch everyone else pass more rapidly through Málaga, Alicante and Palma airports? Freedom to pay mobile roaming charges again? Freedom to suffer worsening public services because all those EU migrants went back home? Freedom to get stuck waiting for baggage reclaim at UK airports? Freedom my arse.

Those papers also include the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, where unashamedly batshit Allison Pearson assures Bozo “your legacy is secure”. If his legacy really is secure, then the UK is totally screwed and its status as a nation in decline is also secure. Not a good look.

The right-leaning part of our free and fearless press has been so heavily invested in building up Bozo that it cannot possibly let go of the idea of him as some kind of great and irreplaceable leader. The dishonesty, sexual incontinence, lack of standards, wasting of other peoples’ money (including, yes, taxpayer funds), narcissism, ineptitude and sociopathy are all ignored.

Well, have I got news for them. The press is going to have to find itself a better excuse: when the electorate realises they’ve been played for suckers while the rich and uncaring of the Fourth Estate have held them in contempt, they won’t just distrust them. The people will turn increasingly hostile.

The press could just ‘fess up, of course. But that would mean admitting they got it wrong. And being part of the press means never admitting wrongdoing.

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Andy McDonald said...

"The dishonesty, sexual incontinence, lack of standards, wasting of other peoples’ money (including, yes, taxpayer funds), narcissism, ineptitude and sociopathy are all ignored."

Absolutely. I think sometimes that they regarded him as the guy who won at journalism.

Arnold said...

I love The smell Of butthurt in the morning.

‘People in Durham will be surprised to learn that they WERE allowed to stand around drinking inside with friends during pandemic': Tory fury as Labour's Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner are CLEARED over Beergate after police say 'no case to answer'


Mr Larrington said...

Eeewwwwww! That farrago of guanopsychotic toadyism has put me right off the prospect of dinner 🤮

Anonymous said...

How refreshing it would be if Johnson's departure means Britain is about to eliminate 40 odd years of socioeconomic and moral corruption and decay.

But the sad truth is it means nothing of the sort. There isn't the slightest sign of any mass organised opposition to the continuing horror. Nor will anybody who "works" in corporate media summon the courage to denounce decades of a deliberately inflicted nightmare of evil greed and corrupting lies.

For instance if Starmer is indeed "cockahoop" it will be purely because he now apparently has the upper hand in an irrelevant public relations pissing contest. Whatever his platitudes, it will have zero substantial effect on the direction of this disintegrating country. He and his gang are integral parts of that political machinery. He is One Of Them. Nothing more than just another Brutus.

Wholly owned far right corporate media will continue their malevolent function of pointing the country even further into a cul de sac of thievery, racism and warmongering.

Johnson is, always was, and always will be a lying shithouse. But so are most of those in British public life. Which is why his demise is merely a soap opera of self righteous bullshit on all sides.

Anybody is living in cloud cuckoo land who thinks Pentagon employee Wallace (or any of the other candidate spivs) will make any worthwhile change.

That's the future....and it doesn't work.

Anonymous said...

Fat turd fleeced British taxpayers … lookin forward to his being dumped by dobbin though … bring it on

iMatt said...

"Thanks for Brexit, Boris". Good. We certainly know who to blame then.

Anonymous said...

Can't wait for the inevitable media cack: "A Shakespearean tragedy/Greatness brought low by own weakness/Betrayed charismatic hero/Irreplaceable character" etc. etc. Pure comedy gold.

As though there were no warnings before he even got his obese, greasy, workshy arse into number 10.

He barely lasted two years. Farewell to a useless public school meff. Good riddance.

Next up, another far right gobshite.

Martin Read said...

I wonder if, ultimately, it wasn't more the likes of the Guardian and the BBC who paved the way for such a reactionary cabal as Johnson's.

Mr Larrington said...

Some erudite comedian on that Twitter, that they have now, referred to our not-quite-ex The Prime Minister as “Bozymandias”.

Someone needs to tell the Torygraph's apprentice mad cat woman Allison Pearson that we will indeed “Look upon his works […] and despair”.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about Pearson, but every now and then BBC "News" features a far right Shouty Old Woman from the torygraph. She looks and sounds like the kind of corner shop owner who throws orange peel at harmless pigeons and yells at passing buses and council workers. A sort of elderly paranoid gammonette. I suspect she's carefully monitored by worried medics.