Priti Patel - Delusion, Meet Megalomania

The thought, it seems, has not yet entered with some of those vying to succeed Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson as leader of the Tory party and therefore Prime Minister: just because Bozo did not take his responsibilities seriously does not mean the post is some kind of effort-free sinecure. Indeed, now that the country is well and truly in the mire, some serious intellectual heft may come in useful. Or, in the case of one late entrant, maybe not.

Because the name which had not passed before my inspection at the weekend was that of Benidorm Holiday Rep Priti Patel, still labouring under the delusion that she is capable of running the Home Office, a delusion further compounded by her apparent belief that this can be accomplished not by any kind of intellectual process, but by shouting and bullying.

That delusion has been fed by fawning coverage from the right leaning part of our free and fearless press, with the Murdoch Times telling readers she would run as the “only authentic Brexiteer who could win”. The less subtle Sun added “PRITI Patel is making a last-ditch appeal to win over Tory Brexiteers as she prepares to announce she is standing for leader within hours.”

There was more. “The Home Secretary is expected to announce TONIGHT she will join the race to be the next PM if the Brexit backing European Research Group of Tory MPs back her … Holed up in a room in a corner of Parliament, Ms Patel told the powerful European Research Group that only she can be trusted to deliver on Brexit”. How very megalomaniac.

She was full of Holiday Rep Speak: “quite frankly we are in one hell of a hole … no one in the party has gripped it … When it comes to the fashionable line of cutting tax….we are all Conservatives and believe in cutting taxes [eh?] … Any reform around taxation, we will have to make sure it touches people by next election … We need to stand firm in terms of negotiations and dialogue”.

Sadly, the amateurish command of the English Language also, it seems, extended to smearing opponents, as the Guardian noted: "On Monday, an ally of the home secretary, Priti Patel, was forced to admit he had shared a memo sent round Tory WhatsApp groups attacking Sunak’s record on the economy. Patrick Robertson denied being the author of the document when confronted by the Times but admitted he had shared it”. Brilliant. Not.

And, it appears, not everyone in the Tory party is as enamoured of Ms Patel as her supporters in the right-wing press, and it was left to the Mirror, and its political editor Pippa Crerar, to bring her and her pals the bad news.

“Ms Patel's expected decision prompted hand-wringing on the Tory right amid fears she could derail the contest … One Tory MP told the Mirror: ‘Priti is determined to stand and thinks everybody should rally to her. It's such a lack of self-awareness'”. And remember, “only she can be trusted to deliver on Brexit”. Only I Can Tame This Unruly Nation. Real tinpot dictator stuff.

But sadly, the momentum is with the likes of Rishi Sunak and Liz Truss, to which must be added God Help Us. One treats it all like a big glossy PR stunt, and the other is frighteningly vacant between the ears. Also, whisper it quietly, Labour must be rubbing their hands with glee at the prospect of an opponent who makes Keir Starmer actually sound interesting.

So is Priti Patel daft enough to run? She’ll have to secure the support of several more MPs by later today. She would not be up to the job, but then, she’s not up to being Home Secretary. Also her press pals feeding her ego could get the better of her, and adding in the potential for dirty tricks, could turn the race out on the right into a real nasty fur fight.

Which would produce excellent spectator sport while tearing the Tory party apart at the same time. So bring on the Priti Patel campaign!

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