Vine/Gove - Will The Story Be Told?

After her column last Sunday in the increasingly wayward Mail on Sunday had thrown a whole barrel of fuel on the fire of speculation, unappealing self-promotion specialist Sarah “Vain” Vine returned to the news yesterday afternoon as it was confirmed that she and Michael “Oiky” Gove had “agreed to separate” and were “finalising their divorce”.

As the BBC has reported, the couple - most conveniently - were able to call on one of those “close friends” to tell “This is a difficult and sad decision for Michael and Sarah after 20 years of marriage … It is an entirely amicable separation and there is no-one else involved … They have drifted apart over the past couple of years but they remain friends … Their absolute priority is the children”. So that’s it, is it? Well, maybe not.

As so often in these situations, the opposition comes riding to your rescue, and the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog have come galloping, with the most glaring of giveaways as they tried just a little too hard to tell the world that they had an exclusive inside track when it came to “Oiky”.

All it took was one line: “Guido is told this news is not pre-emptive of a story in tomorrow’s papers”. Ever since Staines employed the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole as his tame gofer, the stupid has been strong with this one. No, Fawkes brainboxes, it’s not about today’s papers. But that statement does not rule out tomorrow’s papers - the Sundays.

What the Sundays might reveal has been hinted at by the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, elevating Vine/Gove to lead status and telling “A Source close to Mr Gove dismissed any rumours about his private life as ‘utter nonsense’ and ‘made up’ … A spokesman for Mr Gove … denied that the divorce announcement was a pre-emptive strike before compromising news breaks about him”. No legal threats, then.

While the rest of today’s papers cover the story - with the exception of the Murdoch titles and the Daily Mail - it is the Sundays that will be scrabbling to unearth - or maybe that should be stand up - the story behind the split. And I have to tell The Great Guido and their pal Gove that one title had a well-known hack on the case yesterday afternoon.

That title is the Mail on Sunday. Yes, the same Mail on Sunday for which Ms Vine penned her Message To Oiky last weekend. Moreover, if the MoS is sniffing around, what price the Murdoch Sun keeping schtum if there is the possibility of sales and clicks to be scored? What happens if the story is broken by new media, outside of the press’ control?

As to what the MoS may have on Gove, we need look no further than Ms Vine’s column from last weekend, which told “The problem with the wife who has known you since way before you were king of the world is that she sees through your facade. She knows your fears and your insecurities. She knows that, deep down inside, you are not the Master of the Universe you purport to be. And some people don’t like to be reminded of that”.

This could be no more than a brief snark. But it could also be construed as meaning “I know the story, and so does my paper, which come next weekend is going to shit on you from a considerable height”. Which is correct? We may not have to wait long to find out.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Especially if she has a Mail on Sunday column.

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