The Bald Truth

In Saturday’s Guardian, columnist Simon Hoggart tells of when, recently, he was standing behind Young Dave at a party. Hoggart confirms that “he really is going bald. From the back, and spreading out”.

This is very bad news for a man looking to spend ten years occupying 10 Downing Street, and for one simple reason: you can’t get elected if you’re bald.

Since World War 2, the only time a bald man got to be Prime Minister was when the alternative was another bald man. Hence Clem Attlee beating Winshton twice, then Winshton winning the third time.

But, as soon as the electorate had the choice of a party leader with a full head of hair, there was no going back. Anthony Eden beat Attlee, and from that point the bald man always lost.

Alec Douglas Home lost to Wislon, Michael Foot and Neil Kinnock lost to Margaret Thatcher, Kinnock then lost to “Shagger” Major, and both William ‘Ague and Michael “I’m not going to hurt you” Howard lost to Tone. It’s possible that John Smith would have bucked the trend, but his chance never came.

So Cameron and the Tories have a potential problem. How fast is Young Dave’s own very personal recession progressing? If it’s going to become obvious within the next two or three years, that could spell the end of his re-election chances.