Mark François - Death By Brexit

No public figure better epitomises the words attributed to the late Denis Thatcher - “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, that open one’s mouth and remove all doubt” - than comedy MP Mark Gino François, who represents the unfortunate electorate of Rayleigh in Essex. If he spoke more slowly, his thinking might more easily keep pace. François is the most ardent of Brexiteers, but sadly for him, also the most ridiculous.

Mark François - he's completely British, honestly

The intolerance, unpleasantness and stupidity of which François is the embodiment came together as he was challenged by Steve Bray, doing nothing more threatening than talking to him while holding a placard in each hand. The Great Man swivelled round, presenting every one of his amply filled bellies, and began to address the anti-Brexit campaigner.

“You know what? In the nicest possible way, we’re signing your death warrant” he asserted. “Are you?” asked Bray, giving François the chance to rephrase the remark to make it sound marginally less incendiary. The hint was not taken. “On the 31st of October, you’re out of a job … I’m sure you can find something more productive to do”. François was asked “Is that a threat?” but sadly, he was not up to responding.

Leaving aside the obvious corollary - had that been an MP on the Labour left, the death threat would have been all over the right-wing press by now - there is no finer example of Brexiteer hypocrisy. The Bitter Remoaners are the ones who threaten the brave and principled Leavers, they proclaim. Except that isn’t true.

So it was no surprise when the condemnation and ridicule began, with James Melville offering “In any normal circumstances, if someone threatened a member of the public by saying ‘we’re signing your death warrant’, they would lose their job”, to which Carol Hedges added “If anybody wants to complain to the office of [Mark François] about his vile bullying racist bigotry, here are the details of his personal office”.

As for his death threat, one Tweeter mused “[Mark François] thinks he's Andy McNab. He's actually David Brent”. And that much-vaunted military service? “Trained to kill!! The only thing Mark François is trained to kill is a buffet”. Or several buffets, one for each belly.

Abby Gifford continued on the war theme: “[Mark François] is trending … has he invaded Belgium, flown his Spitfire to Brussels or been taken prisoner-of-war?” Another commenter proffered an image of Royston Vasey with the caption “[Mark François] deserves a new constituency”. But the most damning and obvious comment was yet to come.

James Silvester was the man to administer the coup de grace: “[Mark François] is a man so objectionable in demeanour and so lacking in ability that he fails even to get into *this* Cabinet”. He ranks even lower than (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries.

All that foreigner-bashing rhetoric and nothing to show for it - plus the indignity of having an Italian middle name and a French surname. Complete with cedilla.

Mark François - so much hot air, if you stuck a pin in him, he’d fart and fly out the window.

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Rich Papers Whine Over NHS Donation

Our free and fearless press thinks nothing when it comes to securing the rights to Sleb photos - well, sometimes. While papers have no problem with splashing the cash for the really big exclusives, and equally have no problem doing deals with Slebs to guarantee both sides a nice little earner, they are utterly ruthless when it comes to lifting photos.

Gemma Atkinson

Worse, if the tabloids were expecting to get Sleb snaps for free, and then discover that they have to pay for them, woe betide the Slebs, especially if the reason for charging is to provide funds for their local NHS. That is what has happened to Gemma Atkinson, who met her partner Gorka Marquez while a contestant on Strictly Come Dancing.

Gemma and Gorka have most recently been in the papers because she has just given birth to their first child. The birth was not straightforward - an emergency Caesarian followed by her suffering an internal haemorrhage - and it was mainly due to the staff of the Royal Bolton Hospital that mother and daughter came through safely.

So Ms Atkinson decided to have an agency charge for images of her daughter, with the money going to the hospital. Cue Olympic-standard freestyle wobbler throwing by both the Mail, and the Murdoch Sun. “Gemma Atkinson and Gorka Marquez are cashing in on social media pictures of newborn daughter Mia ... after hitting back at claims of a 'magazine deal’” howled the Mail in faux outrage.

The inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker really trowelled on the sneering: “Gemma Atkinson and her boyfriend Gorka Marquez have been selling the social media pictures of their daughter Mia Louise for £150 each to a celebrity photo agency … The move will no doubt shock fans … [it] means the duo will now profit from the image”.

Even the news that the money was going to the NHS was not enough for the Mail: “She has since stated that she will be giving the money to NHS Bolton, but it's not clear if the agency will also be donating their fee”. Come on Slebs, hand over some more dosh if you want us off your backs! And the Sun was mining the same seam of faux victimhood.

“GEMMA Atkinson is already making money off her baby daughter Mia – just 12 days after giving birth … The Sun Online can reveal former Strictly star Gemma is raking in the cash while on maternity leave - as she’s charging people to replicate the pictures she posts on social media”. Charging people like the Sun and Mail, you mean.

And there was more. “Gemma is charging up to £150 for every picture and video of her new baby - including one of Mia rolling around on a mat, which she captioned ‘content little blue eyed peanut’ … She also asked for £150 for the first picture of Mia in a cute pink cardigan and the same fee again for a photo of Gemma in hospital after the birth - taken by boyfriend Gorka Marquez”. Not taken by a pro? The audacity!

The Murdoch goons signed off with the sneering “Gemma recently revealed she’d demanded that Gorka marry her now she’s had their baby. Let’s hope she doesn’t charge him £150 for the privilege”. There’s leaving one foot in the tackle, eh?

Tabs hate to pay if they can get it for free. They hate the NHS even more. So expect more hatred aimed at Ms Atkinson in the coming weeks. What an absolute shower.

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BBC Breakfast Well Fawked

Another day, another accommodation by the BBC of the Fake News right: if someone at the Corporation thought that giving a platform to those who want to see it wiped off the map would mollify them, they have another think coming. Worse, it is clear that many who watched BBC Breakfast this morning were not even slightly impressed by having the show’s paper review turned into a Tory Party Election Broadcast.

One of the Beeb’s bookers seems to have thought that inviting one of the rabble who works in the service of the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog might be A Very Good Idea. But it is clear that the appearance of replacement teaboy Tom Harwood has gone down like the proverbial cup of cold sick.

The complaints were not slow in arriving. “I watched [BBC Breakfast] in utter disbelief, some Guido Fawkes toad called Tom Harwood was allowed to sing the virtues of the Johnson govt/No Deal Brexit … he was peddling lie after lie unchallenged” … “Tom Harwood the Guido Fawkes guy, giving it lie upon lie, upon lie on BBC breakfast about how good a no deal Brexit will be, and how the government are doing a marvellous job, without question from the two shills on the red couch. It was like watching a live action press release” were typical. And typically damning.

Some were taking it further. “Complain online to BBC providing a platform for extreme right wing Guido Fawkes. I just did … The [BBC Breakfast] paper review is not there to promote agencies of hate and bigotry”. Some wanted an explanation: “Tom Harwood peddling his Guido Fawkes nonsense without challenge. This is outrageous BBC. He's supposed to be reviewing the Sunday papers not peddling his right wing opinions. This is ridiculous bias, who makes these editorial decisions?” Who indeed?

There was more. “Yes shameful bias from Tom Harwood of right-wing lobby group Guido Fawkes on [BBC Breakfast] - more or less a PEB for the Tories” … “The normalisation of right wing propaganda outlet Guido Fawkes is as fascinating as it disgusting to witness” … “Really, [BBC Breakfast] featuring a 'reporter' from Guido Fawkes. Are you kidding? Could you possibly crawl up the Tories’ bums any further? Switching off now”.

The lack of balance worried some. “It's probably time that before these self interest groups (whoever they are) come on the news that they declare exactly who they are and who funds them... but the Guido Fawkes guy on [BBC News] this morning was there with absolutely no balance ... none whatsoever”. Not a good look.

That concern was shared by Gary Foskett: “It's all very well inviting children from the Guido Fawkes political nursery on to public *service* broadcasters for the odd outing, but you can't allow them to dump hard right bullshit all over the place without any comeback or challenge. This is not the way to bring up Britain”. Well, quite.

Staines said one undeniably true thing recently when he asserted “The Guidoisation of British politics is complete” in response to his hero Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson becoming Prime Minister. It seems the Guidoisation has infected the BBC as well.

When a borderline Fake News site is allowed to set the BBC’s agenda, we are truly lost.

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Nadine Dorries - We Have To Talk

And so the ministerial reshuffle undertaken by alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson reached the junior ranks yesterday. Here was the opportunity for Bozo the Clown to reward the loyalty of pals on the back benches, but also an area where he should have trodden carefully: views that are fine for those outside the sphere of collective responsibility may not be so acceptable if they are summoned inside.

Sadly for Johnson, treading carefully was out of the question as he gifted a job at the Department of Health and Social Care to (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, who represents the electorate of Mid Bedfordshire, whether they want her or not. Ms Dorries’ inability to get her brain round the basics of Brexit has been the source of much mirth recently, but there is a rather less pleasant side to her too.

A complete Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street

The appointment was not taken too seriously by some pundits, with Ian Dunt’s reaction typical: “Nadine Dorries becomes a minister at the Department of Health. The clown car is complete”. One Tweeter told “I have a lot of Nadine Dorries best bits, my favourite to this day remains when she told all of Twitter she gives her junior staff her password on her work computer”. And then there was her prowess on the EU.

James O’Brien recalled “Nadine Dorries asked colleagues to explain what the Customs Union was because she was losing arguments about the wisdom of leaving it … They explained it to her in relatively simple terms … She still didn't understand and cited this as her chief reason for wanting to leave it”. This was not an isolated occurrence.

She memorably told followers “For those who favour a CU take a look at a breakdown from the [Sun] and see how much we pay in tariffs. The CU is a [sic] corrupt and rigged by Eurocrats and in no way benefits British people - we are being ripped off!” The article she cited later had to be pulled as it was substantially untrue.

And as Graham Lucas observed, last December “Nadine Dorries is at it again! Leaver thinks there will be a transition period with ‘no deal’”. If there is No Deal, there is no transition period. And if there is a transition period, it isn’t No Deal.

But it is on the twin subjects of racism and abortion that Nadine Dorries’ record is truly worrying. As the Guardian has reported, “Last year, journalist Yasmin Alibhai-Brown accused the MP for Mid Bedfordshire of racism after she told her to ‘appreciate just a little the country and the people you have chosen to live, work and benefit from all of your life’”.

It got worse: “Dorries has also been criticised for sharing a tweet by Tommy Robinson, and was accused of Islamophobia for suggesting the mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, was responsible for dealing with grooming gangs in Yorkshire”. Also, she infamously compared a Jewish (now former) MP to a Nazi concentration camp doctor, in a blatant exhibition of anti-Semitism. She has never withdrawn her comments, or apologised.

And then there is her stance on Abortion. In 2008, Sunny Hundal wrote of the campaign to reduce the upper time limit for abortion from 24 weeks to 20, noting “it is backed by a whole list of organisations that want to ban abortion entirely … Nadine Dorries MP keeps claiming she is pro-choice and that she is not a Christian fundamentalist but then why is her campaign funded and co-run by them? Why are many of her allies groups that want to ban abortion entirely?” And what was Andrea Minichiello Williams’ role in the campaign?

Hundal also touched on Ms Dorries’ tendency to dishonesty. “There is plenty of good science around pointing out why the 24-week limit should remain, including by the British Medical Association. It is the anti-choice lobby, led by Nadine Dorries, that is trying to fudge the science. Dawn Primarolo MP said last night in parliament: ‘She has asserted many things as fact which are not.’” Prepare for rather more of that in the future.

The Dorries campaign to erode abortion rights did not stop back then, as the Guardian has noted: “more recently she attempted to amend laws and strip abortion providers of their role in counselling women. She has also proposed introducing compulsory sex education lessons at schools for teenage girls which espoused the benefits of abstinence”.

The old Silver Ring Thing rides again. Those views, of course, are not such a big problem when it is a back bencher who espouses them. But if that back bencher is then elevated to the rank of Government minister, they are a problem. Even moreso if the ministerial appointment is to the department handling health and social care.

Nadine Dorries may provide plenty of inadvertent laughter through her ignorance of the EU and its institutions. But her back catalogue of racism, and apparently regressive views on abortion rights, are no laughing matter. This is a genuinely worrying appointment.

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Top Six - July 28

So what’s hot, and what’s not, in the past week’s blogging? Here are the six most popular posts on Zelo Street for the past seven days, counting down in reverse order, because, well, I have to be out and about later. So there.

6 So Farewell Then Tom Barry A post from November 2015 remembering the irreplaceable presence behind Boris Watch. How he would have laughed at Bozo The Clown becoming Prime Minister.

5 Dan Hodges - Maybe It’s Heatstroke One desperate attempt to paint the Labour Party as racist ended in genuine Peak Stupid. You can’t get the wood, you know.

4 Boris Hires Far-Right Foreigner Chloe Westley being given a job in 10 Downing Street? Honesty and tolerance are clearly so last century.

3 Tom Watson In Real Trouble He allowed Carl Beech to con him - that could be bad news for the Labour deputy leader.

2 Steven Edginton - We Don’t Believe You The apologia from this 19-year-old alleged journalist on his involvement in leaks of diplomatic cables began to unravel. Seriously.

1 Tories Exhume Cambridge Analytica More than 550 Facebook adverts already out there soliciting personal information on potential swing voters - what goes around, comes around.

And that’s the end of another blogtastic week, blog pickers. Not ‘arf!

Farage Fires Up Offshore Fundraising

It was one of those lines that defined the razor-sharp Ernest Lehman script: “that plane’s dusting crops where there ain’t no crops” came just before the scene from the Hitchcock thriller North by Northwest that everyone remembers. The plane was not a crop duster, and by the same token, a Brexit group set up in the US state of Michigan is not about Brexit. But it is about Nigel “Thirsty” Farage dabbling in anti-Semitic rabble rousing.

Squeaky remote electoral interference finger up the bum time

As iNews has reported, “Nigel Farage has teamed up with Donald Trump-supporting Americans to form a new lobbying body to push for Britain to leave the EU … A number of the President’s most avid supporters, including his former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, attended a launch event for the group, World4Brexit, in New York this week”. So what is World4Brexit, and who is behind it?

“Former members of the Trump election campaign, including far right architect Steve Bannon, are expected to give informal advice to Mr Farage on his fundraising initiative, which is apparently still in its ‘start up phase’ … Speaking ahead of the launch of the project at the New York Athletic Club in Manhattan, he reaffirmed that all donations made would be ‘above board and legal’”. Almost as if he’s a little defensive about such things.

What’s the motivation behind World4Brexit? “The fundraiser, he said, was an ‘antidote’ to similar projects run by pro-Remain organisations in the UK supported by billionaire Hungarian-born American George Soros”. Oh look, a Jewish bogeyman.

Worse, the Mirror has found that “Fundraising documents distributed at the event are reported to have claimed philanthropist George Soros had ‘dropped tens of millions of dollars on the “remain” side of this issue..[so] there is no reason we shouldn’t be able to support the effort to fulfil the peoples’ vote.’” How much exaggeration is that?

George Soros - wheeled out to frighten the punters. Again

“This is untrue. Soros’ funding for anti-Brexit causes in the UK are a matter of public record, and have amounted to £800,000 in total to campaign group Best for Britain … World for Brexit’s website includes three articles attacking both Best for Britain and Soros”.

But the bigotry should surprise no-one, given Bannon’s presence, and his connections (like Stephen Yaxley Lennon and pals). So what’s the group’s structure? “The group is registered as a ‘501(c)(4)’ group - a not-for-profit group which can accept donations of up to $5,000 and keep the names of donors secret”. Well, well.

The influence it may be exerting very soon was summed up in this snippet: “A disclaimer published on the group’s website says the group has been set up to ‘operate exclusively for the promotion of civic action and social welfare by promoting the awareness of the impact of the departure of United Kingdom from European Union.’”

Of course it is. And therefore nothing to do with offshoring future electoral interference, or indeed being able to harvest data and use it to target wavering voters well away from any chance of being bounced by the Electoral Commission. Or the Information Commissioner’s Office, which is investigating the Tories over unsolicited emails.

Mr Thirsty and his pals are one step ahead of the Tories - and out of the reach of UK authorities. Fuelled by more dark money and incentivised by gratuitous anti-Semitism.

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Boris Will Build HS3 - Or Maybe Not

Margaret Thatcher famously told “If you want something said, ask a man … If you want something done, ask a woman”. Many of those who claim to follow in her footsteps have long forgotten her advice, and will not be remembering it today, when alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson regales the more easily impressed on the subject of the mythical new railway known as HS3.

High speed rail - but not in the UK

Brave Bozo is attempting today to con swing voters in the North of England into favouring the Tories - by offering them a bribe which is yet to take on a discernible form. As the BBC has reported, “Prime Minister Boris Johnson will pledge to fund a new high-speed rail route between Leeds and Manchester … In a speech in Manchester later, Mr Johnson will give his backing to the trans-Pennine transport link to ‘turbo-charge the economy’”.

There was more. “It is claimed the plans would cut journey times on the 36-mile (58km) route from 50 minutes to less than 30”. Fine. So how are we defining HS3? “The full details of the route are expected to be published in the autumn following the review into HS2”. Exactly what HS3 means, we don’t get to find out until later.

Why does this matter? Well, right now, HS3 means many things to many interest groups, and the “many things” includes how much railway it will mean, and where it will go. For instance, the BBC report pencilled in not only Manchester to Leeds, but also Manchester to Liverpool, Manchester to Sheffield, and Leeds to Hull and York.

But under the map illustrating all of those possibilities, the Beeb reminds readers “Mr Johnson is only proposing to fund the route between Manchester and Leeds”. So no Warrington Parkway station, no link to Liverpool to give the city an HS2 direct connection, nothing for Sheffield. Just a speculative line on the map joining two cities.

A complete Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street

And that’s the difference between what Johnson is supposedly backing today, and HS2, which has had its route planned, pored over, refined and the rest so that we can be certain where it’s going and what population it’s going to serve. Also, to reduce the journey time between Manchester and Leeds by the amounts suggested means something straight and direct - which, given the terrain, means lots of tunnelling.

That means it will cost significant amounts of money. We are told that the cost will be “up to £39bn”, which was considered, by all those opposed to HS2, to be too onerous a sum. So it will be interesting to see which way the TPA, IEA, CPS and ASI jump, now they have their man in Downing Street. If, of course, they say anything at all.

Or perhaps they will say nothing because they are well aware of Johnson’s ability to promise well, but deliver less. Until there is a firmed up route for HS3, and a commitment extending beyond just Manchester to Leeds, this is no more than a cheap pre-election bribe. Promising something not yet defined is easy. Delivering it is not.

Hence the BBC report’s analysis concluding “Attention will now turn to the precise route and if the HS2 experience is anything to go by that's when the difficulties of building a railway become apparent”. But by then, Johnson will have moved on.

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Harry Cole For Downing Street?

As alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson continues to make appointments to his team, with varying reactions - Labour’s Jon Trickett has already called for Chloe Westley to go, following revelations about her endorsement of Anne Marie Waters - one voice from the Pundit Establishment has been dropping heavy hints.

That voice belongs to the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, at present continuing his pretence of being a real journalist at the Mail on Sunday, where he is alleged to be deputy political editor. Cole has more than a little in common with Johnson: he wants to be liked by his peers, he has cultivated a moderately shambolic personality, and he is a nailed-on Grade A ocean-going shit of no discernible principle.

An absolute Muppet. And Elmo from Sesame Street

As such, like Johnson he instinctively has an eye on the main chance, a desire for advancement, however undeserving he might be. So yesterday morning when he mused “Call me old fashioned but should one’s country ask you to serve it is the height of arrogance to refuse” (the punctuation never improves, does it?), it should have surprised no-one that eyebrows were raised. Even if he was talking about Steve Baker.

Mark di Stefano of BuzzFeed News asked if it might be “Special adviser Harry Cole?” while Jonn Elledge cautioned “Depends what your country is asking you to do”. Entries on a postcard, and all that. Susie Boniface, aka Fleet Street Fox, chose to give Master Cole a prod. "'The country' hasn't asked any of them”. This provoked an interesting reaction.

“Hate to break this to you but…” But what? One former soldier gave him another prod. “If Corbyn asked you to serve, would you agree? Or if a position wasn’t clear cut and right, would you agree? Why step up if you might end up stepping down because you disagree. Better to not stand and let another take the opportunity”. Was he talking generally, or specifically about Johnson and a role in his Government? Or just Baker?

Cole continued with the terse but still heavy hints. "The if asked there is key”. Bloody hell, even Lyndon Johnson was more verbose when he refused his party’s nomination to serve another term as President. There is one thing Cole watchers know of old - he is unable to keep totally schtum when it would serve his purposes best to do so.

Well, if he has been offered something by Johnson, he should take up the offer, because right now he is as clueless as ever. Consider his observation “‘The European Union will treat the new PM with respect.. due to his office’ - Dublin really are quite rattled aren’t they”. No they aren’t. And the Telegraph’s Europe editor has what Cole missed.

“Incoming Johnson administration being warned that 'no deal' means passing legislation to bring 'direct rule' back to Northern Ireland … This will be politically utterly toxic - and put UK and Irish govt on collision path” told Peter Foster.

If Andrew Gilligan is fit to be a transport advisor to Johnson - the post to which he has just been appointed - then Master Cole may be close behind. He should stop hinting and bite Johnson’s hand off. He might actually learn something from the experience.

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