Bozo, Lying, And Client Journalism

And so it came to pass that Rishi Sunak’s exchange with his ethics advisor appeared to have brought the desired result: there will be no further action against Clouseau-like Home Secretary Suella Braverman for what looks like a breach of the ministerial code. This is most fortuitous for two reasons: keeping her pals on side, and clearing the decks for the next shitshow.

And what a shitshow it is shaping up to be: disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has been referred to the Police over potential lawbreaking at Chequers during the Covid-19 lockdown. This happened because Bozo, being an insufferable tightwad, got Sunak’s Government to pay his legal bills for the Covid inquiry.

In an excellent example of unintended consequences, the Government picking up Bozo’s legal tab made them the client. The lawyers got hold of Bozo’s diary and were obliged to pass on any potential illegality to the cops. It looks like family and friends were invited to Chequers during lockdown. This was Streng Verboten under Bozo’s own rules. Hence the Police referral.

As the Guardian has reported, “The Metropolitan and Thames Valley police forces have confirmed they are considering the evidence of potential lockdown breaches between June 2020 and May 2021 at Chequers in Buckinghamshire, and allegations about Johnson’s behaviour in Downing Street over the same period”. Bozo’s office has responded.

“Mr Johnson’s lawyers have tonight written to the police forces involved to explain in detail why the Cabinet Office is entirely wrong in its assertions … The events in question were all within the rules either because they were held outdoors or came within another lawful exception. They include regular meetings with civil servants and advisers”. Of course they did.

The problem for Sunak, and indeed anyone who wants to get to the facts of the matter, is that for the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press, the view still remains that Bozo may be an SOB, but he’s their SOB. So, overnight, we have seen some highly creative client journalism, along with the kind of behaviour that would see lesser mortals in Police custody.

The Daily Brexit, still called the Express, went in to bat for Bozo today, howling “Friends and allies condemn Partygate ‘vendetta’ waged against ex-PM … IT’S A STITCH-UP! BORIS FACES NEW POLICE PROBE INTO RULE-BREAKING”. Lawbreaking has been downgraded into mere rule-breaking, along with that modern tendency of client journalists.

That, to use Peter Oborne’s happy phrase, is that sources are not interrogated, but what they brief the press is just “shovelled on”. It’s obvious that this line and its accompanying assertions have come either directly or indirectly from The Man Himself. Johnson is a congenital liar, and it’s always someone else’s fault. The same paw-prints are all over the Mail lead, too.

There, we see the variation “Ex-PM livid as civil servants call in Police over lockdown diaries … BORIS THREATENS TO SUE CABINET OFFICE FOR COVID ‘STITCH-UP’”. And, surprise, surprise, “Sources close to Mr Johnson said he had already had legal advice that none of the events broke Covid rules. A friend said he was ‘seriously considering’ legal action”.

Bullshit. That’s Bullshit. For those at the back who may not have been paying attention, BULLSHIT. “Sources close to Mr Johnson” and “A friend” are Bozo himself, or someone so close to him as to make no difference. And, as Steven Swinford, political editor of the Murdoch Times, made clear in a series of Twitter interventions, the cops should be doing more than just looking.

“Boris Johnson allies up the ante and warn they will obstruct Rishi Sunak’s government unless he intervened to stop what they see as a ‘witch hunt’ … They say it’s the ‘final straw’ for Johnson and warn that MPs and members supportive of former PM will begin organising”. Over to the Secret Barrister.

“Putting pressure on the Prime Minister to intervene in a police investigation sounds awfully ‘conspiracy to pervert the course of justice’-y”. So it does. And Swinford had more. “Boris ally: ‘Boris has been supporting govt but this act is final straw … ’There are a growing number of MPs who want party leadership to act to stop these witch hunts and a group of MPs will meet today to consider options. Meanwhile members across country are being organised’”.

We go from an almost certain series of flat-out lies to one that is nailed on: “Boris Johnson’s allies claim that the decision to refer him to the police was signed off by senior ministers … They said the ministers had direct knowledge of what was happening … This is denied by cabinet office and Govt, which say there was no ministerial involvement at all”. Correct.

One pack of lies after another. Blaming others. And it’s all about Himself Personally Now. Worse, we have a series of supposedly serious journalists uncritically relaying Bozo’s tantrums as if they were unvarnished truth. Now we’re being told he’s sacking one lot of lawyers and appointing another, to be paid for by the Government. So the same obligations still apply.

Stop treating this clown seriously. Do some actual journalism. End of story.

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Braverman - Stop Dithering, PM

In the 1976 comedy film The Pink Panther Strikes Again, one recurring joke is the reluctance of the British Police Superintendent (Leonard Rossiter) to call Paris and have inept Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Peter Sellers) recalled. He reasons with his team that things can’t get any worse, they then get worse, and the suggestion is put once more: “Want to call Paris now?”

Oh SHIT ... might really get the boot this time

Rishi Sunak probably hasn’t seen that one, but he is in a very similar position to that fictional Superintendent right now, with his own version of Clouseau, nominal Home Secretary Suella Braverman, having gaffe after gaffe exposed by our free and fearless press, who are giving the impression that they don’t believe her position is tenable. Yet he keeps putting off sacking her.

Overnight, the last act of ineptitude we knew about concerned Ms Braverman getting herself a speeding fine and then allegedly using her own civil servants to try and get herself a one-on-one speed awareness course, having been offered the usual course variant, seeing that she would have been part of a group, making excuses about security, and hence the allegation.

Use of civil service resources for the personal benefit of Herself Personally Now would be a potential breach of the ministerial code. That’s the kind of thing that got her sacked by Liz Truss during the latter’s signally disastrous but thankfully brief premiership. That was bad, but thanks to Lizzie Dearden of the Independent, we now have another gaffe to add to the pile.

The revelation had to wait while the Indy and its staff covered the overnight disturbance in the Ely district of Cardiff, but now we know. “Suella Braverman is facing fresh allegations of ministerial code breaches over her failure to formally disclose previous work with the Rwandan government … She was the director of a charity training its lawyers for five years”. Do go on.

“The home secretary co-founded a charity called the Africa Justice Foundation with Cherie Blair, which trained Rwandan government lawyers between 2010 and 2015 … Several people the charity worked with are now key members of President Paul Kagame’s government and are involved in the UK’s £140m deal to send asylum seekers to Rwanda”. Whoops!

There was more. “Ms Braverman did not officially disclose her previous links to the country when appointed home secretary in 2022, despite the deal being a lynchpin of the government’s migration policy and ongoing legal challenges alleging politically-driven human rights violations including torture, murder and kidnappings”. And who would like to comment on this one?

I theught you said your deug did not bite

“One former minister told The Independent that the home secretary ‘never mentioned’ her work with the charity and should have been ‘upfront and transparent’, while two former standards chiefs said Ms Braverman should have formally disclosed her former role”. And more. A lot more.

“Ms Braverman resigned from her post as director of the Africa Justice Foundation weeks before being elected to parliament, and did not declare her previous role to Home Office permanent secretary Matthew Rycroft last year … A source close to the home secretary said it was not necessary for her to disclose her previous work, adding: ‘This was charity work carried out by Ms Braverman before she was an MP, and for which she wasn’t paid.’”

So what? The potential for corruption is in the category of the bleeding obvious. Hence “Sir Alistair Graham, former head of the Committee of Standards on Public Life, [said] ‘If the Rwanda policy was there when she produced a declaration of interest, and did not include it, then I would have thought that could be a breach of the ministerial code’”. Indeed.

Instead, though, we get “look over there - it was unpaid”. Back to the Indy: “Records obtained by The Independent show that the charity received more than £300,000 in donations and spent the bulk of the funding on a scholarship scheme seeing Rwandan government lawyers sent to British universities”.

With the result that “By the time Ms Braverman resigned her directorship in 2015, Rwandan media reported that 19 alumni were serving in government institutions including the Office of the President, the Office of the Prime Minister and Rwanda Law Reform Commission, and research by The Independent shows that some now hold senior posts in the country’s Ministry of Justice”. Of course she should have disclosed her involvement.

What is Rishi Sunak waiting for? Another gaffe, then another? Sack her. Now.

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Braverman Defenders' Own Goal

As Rishi Sunak continues to prevaricate over Home Secretary Suella Braverman and whether she broke the ministerial code by tasking her Civil Servants with attempts to arrange a one-on-one speed awareness course, with his latest delaying tactic being to ask his ethics advisor to rule on the matter, it is clear Ms Braverman herself is rattled, and badly.

Sadly for her, the tactic that would be deployed in order to dissuade further enquiries from our free and fearless press was let slip by those still prepared to put up with the work environment at the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph: “Braverman ‘smear’ fears over curbs on migrants … Speeding fine row is concerted effort to discredit her” tells the headline.

Says who? Don’t laugh too loudly: “say Home Secretary’s allies”. Which almost certainly means Herself Personally Now. Those who remember her appearing on BBC Question Time and claiming that any criticism of her party being funded by Russian money was racist will recognise her fingerprints on that one. Pity about the own goal later in the article (read to the end).

As John Stevens at the Mirror has told readers of “The FOUR TIMES Suella Braverman's aide denied she'd been done for speeding - transcript … A transcript shows that the Home Secretary's special adviser insisted it was ‘nonsense’ that she'd been done for speeding when contacted by the Mirror six weeks ago”, Ms Braverman was making less and less sense.

She arrived at 10 Downing Street and was quizzed on that speed awareness course, responding that she was there to “stop the boats”. Then, as Pippa Crerar of the Guardian observed, “Suella Braverman tells MPs: ‘Last summer I was speeding, I regret that. I paid the fine and took the penalty. At no point did I attempt to evade sanction’. (That's not the allegation, it's that she asked officials to arrange a private driving awareness course)”. Indeed.

But it was Paul Waugh of the i Paper who had the most comprehensive and indeed most damning news. “Some MP[s] think [Rishi Sunak is] micromanaging her [department because] he doesn't trust her to do her job properly … One former minister who worked with Braverman tells me: ‘I don’t often say people are completely useless, but if her desk had not been occupied I wouldn’t have noticed’”.That won’t be stopping many boats, then.

There was more. “Suella Braverman says ‘at no point did I seek to evade the sanction’ of speeding penalty points. She says Labour only asking the Q to distract from its failure to back Govt re paedophiles/migration”.

See last paragraph of headline article for howler

And more. “Pressed by [Yvette Cooper] whether she authorised her special adviser to deny she had a committed a speeding offence, [Suella Braverman] signally refuses to answer the question … Asked at least 4 times now if she asked civil servants to find her a private speed awareness course, [she] again refuses to answer. Replies with almost exactly the same formula”.

So how does the Tel spin this? “Miriam Cates, a Tory MP and ally of Mrs Braverman, said it was ‘extremely worrying’ that the Home Secretary was being subjected to personal attacks and ‘a concerted effort to discredit her’ in a similar way to last October. 'It is no coincidence that it’s in the same week that she had been very vocal about the need to put proper limits on legal migration which is clearly a contentious issue in Government’”. Do go on.

“She has had a lot of profile and prominence. There are many people who don’t agree with her view that we should limit legal immigration. If you put two and two together, it is perfectly possible it’s politically motivated. It is shocking anyone would leak this private information”. Paranoid, much?

And Ms Cates wasn’t the only one seeing Dark Forces at work. “Craig Mackinlay, another Tory MP, said: ‘It wasn’t at all unreasonable for a Home Secretary to do what she has asked. I see nothing wrong with that. I would call that fairly good common sense and then decide to take the points.’" But he made no sense at all. Except to be sure she’d done nothing wrong.

Then the Tel sold the pass. “Mrs Braverman was issued with a speeding notice by police last year after being caught outside London when she was attorney general … She was offered the choice of paying the fine and receiving three points, attending a speed awareness course in lieu of points and the fine or challenging the speeding notice. It was at this point that she asked civil servants if a private course could be arranged” [My emphasis].

Her defenders have answered the question put several times this afternoon in the Commons. The Telegraph has asserted that she asked civil servants if a private speed awareness course could be arranged. So either she’s going to demand the paper pull that comment, or she’s bang to rights.

Oh what a giveaway! Maybe the Tel sacked too many staff. Just a thought.

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Suella Braverman - Time To Go

Time was when Tory MPs like Daniel Kawczynski were reprimanded for attending the National Conservatism conference, given the nationalist and indeed racist aspects of such gatherings. But despite this year’s event featuring appalling bigots like Doug Murray The K, there was no rap on the knuckles for Home Secretary Suella Braverman when she rocked up there.

Another day, another mishap

No doubt the Tory leadership would like this to be seen as their being tolerant and broad-minded, rather than Rishi Sunak being weak, and his party ranks devoid of credible replacements. Sadly for him, hardly had that little local difficulty passed from view than Ms Braverman was splashed across the front page of the Murdoch Sunday Times, and for all the wrong reasons.

“Braverman asked Civil Servants to help her avoid speeding fine” was the wording that caused Sunak another heap of trouble that he could do without, as well as confirming that the Murdoch mafiosi show every sign of not only concluding that the Tories will lose the next General Election, but also that they may be done with giving The Blue Team their unequivocal backing.

As the story was out there well before first editions had to be “put to bed”, the magpies at the Mail on Sunday decided they would run with the story, rather than join the herd crowing at the departure of Phillip Schofield from ITV weekday offering This Morning. But it wouldn’t be the MoS without demoting the news to mere “row” status, as well as keeping up the personality cult.

Hence “Row as Home Secretary is accused of asking officials to set up private driving awareness course after breaking limit … SUELLA ‘TRIED TO COVER UP’ SPEEDING OFFENCE”. There is no “row”. Ms Braverman (as opposed to the gushing “Suella”) was caught speeding. She was given the option of taking the fine and three penalty points, or doing a course.

However, and this is a significantly sized however, the course, on speed awareness, would have been as part of a group. As the BBC has reported, “She tried to arrange a one-on-one course through civil servants and her adviser, the BBC has been told … A government source told the BBC the senior minister had been ‘concerned’ about her insurance premiums, and favoured doing a course”. But here a problem entered.

“She asked civil servants about arranging a course for just her, citing security concerns about doing one as part of a group, but was told it was not a matter for the civil service … Mrs Braverman then asked a special adviser to try to arrange a one-on-one course”. Security? We already knew she got caught.

But do go on. “When the course provider told her there was no option to do a private course - and after she was reappointed home secretary in Mr Sunak's government - she opted to pay the fine and accept the points because she was ‘very busy’ and did not have the time to do a course, the BBC has been told”. Doesn’t make sense. She wasn’t too busy for a one-on-on course.

Moreover, the impression is given that the ministerial code has been broken once again. LBC host James O’Brien was unimpressed: “Braverman’s speeding fine is literally nothing to do with the civil service. Even her highly dubious defence - that she was enquiring about the general availability of one-on-one awareness courses - involves her asking public servants on taxpayer’s time about her personal issues”. And then it got worse.

As Adam Bienkov of Byline Times observed, “Both Rishi Sunak and Therese Coffey stonewalling questions about Suella Braverman breaking the ministerial code by asking officials to help her avoid a speeding fine, by saying they ‘don't have the details’ … The story broke yesterday afternoon. Of course they have the details”. A given before the Sunday morning TV round.

Would Sir care to show some leadership, perchance?

Then it got worse still as it was revealed that someone had been lying. “Suella Braverman's team originally denied she'd got [a] speeding ticket … Raises troubling questions about the government's dealings with journalists” noted Daily Mirror political editor John Stevens. Would he care to expand?

He certainly would. “The Mirror contacted the Home Secretary about the driving offence six weeks ago … Her Tory special adviser insisted she had not been done for speeding and accused her political enemies of spreading misinformation … We now know that was false”. By this time, Mrs T would have sacked Ms Braverman. And the SpAd. So why is she still in post?

Sunak has to sack her, or he isn’t in control. And that’s not good enough.

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Energy Bill Propaganda Won’t Work

The right-leaning part of our free and fearless press is looking down the barrel of a gun marked Labour Victory: this has spooked it in serious measure and the resultant panic can be seen in today’s front pages. They may be able to manipulate Keir Starmer; they may not. It’s the uncertainty they don’t want, the thought that trifles like democracy could loose their hold on the UK.

Hence today’s headlines, with the Mail, and the Daily Brexit, still called the Express, leading the way. Energy bills may at long last be about to fall, although they would still be at a level way above what they were when the supposedly wonderful Tory party headed up by Young Dave and his jolly good chaps wormed its way into what was then mere coalition back in 2010.

The Express goes with “ENERGY BILLS TO TUMBLE”, while the Mail, which pays better and employs more hacks, manages more words as it tells “With European gas prices dropping back to levels not seen since before Ukraine war … ENERGY BILLS TO FALL £450 AS CAP IS SLASHED”.

Do go on. “HOUSEHOLDS will soon see energy bills fall by £450 in a fresh sign the worst of the cost of living squeeze is nearing an end”. Both papers juxtapose this alleged news with photos of disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and third wife Carrie, the latter in the advanced stages of pregnancy. The message is straightforward: it’s OK to vote Tory again, and don’t forget that victory back in 2019.

However, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, the media establishment still sees Bozo as an asset to his party. He is not. Johnson almost fouled up London, with Sadiq Khan - much vilified by many right-wing pundits for trying to sort out the mess he inherited - being pilloried for actually wanting to improve matters. Bozo is forever tainted by Partygate.

And two, just for all those obscenely overpaid hacks and pundits who don’t have to worry about such trivia, energy bills are not the only worry for those actually inhabiting the real world outside the media’s hermetically sealed bubble. There is still galloping food price inflation, lack of affordable housing, tuition fee debt, and the decline in so many of our town centres.

That’s before those swing voters at whom this lame propaganda is being targeted consider Tory attempts to remove the right to protest, the voter ID rule which was all too obviously intended as a form of disenfranchisement, the cruel, crude and wasteful attempts to demonise refugees, and a disturbing lurch towards the far right and nationalist bigotry.

On top of all of that comes the continuing fallout from Brexit, with more and more of those who were conned into voting Leave realising they’ve been had and the only way to recover the mess is going to be, sooner or later, to ask the EU nicely if they might be cool with us rejoining the Single Market. Because until and unless we do, the UK is irredeemably screwed.

None of that, of course, appears on those unpersuasive front pages. That’s because the intention is to garner votes for the Tories, and the press can’t do that by admitting the truth. Worse, their spin is increasingly irrelevant: the Tories are now revisiting the mid-90s, when nothing they could do would lift their poll ratings off the floor - more and more voters have had enough.

Worse still, the economy was doing far better in the run-up to the Tory drubbing in 1997 than it is now. But no amount of good news could have saved John Major. Not after all the sleaze revelations. Now, there is not only sleaze, but rampant corruption and a blatant contempt for the general public - exemplified by their hero Bozo turning 10 Downing Street into Party Central.

Finally, another thought enters: the vast majority of voters are not fools. A point will come, with the certainty of night following day, when more and more of them will realise that following the press’ bidding has impoverished them, and impoverished their country. Voting Tory, voting Leave and voting Bozo has screwed them over. They won’t forget that come the next election.

The press will have to do better if it wants another Tory election victory. The good news is they most likely can’t. Just rejoice at that news.

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Net Zero Price Hike Story UNTRUE

It is not only those trying to smear anyone that incurs the displeasure of our free and fearless press who practice bad faith journalism which verges on flat-out lying and rank propaganda: today’s main headline from the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph shows that the yellow press tendency has spread to bad mouthing the move to cleaner energy.

“Net Zero drive will add £120 to energy bills … Commons backlash over £3.5 billion scheme backing hydrogen production” tells the paper. We do not get to find out what kind of “backing” the Government is giving to hydrogen production. But we soon see the certainty of that headline diluted, as the “will add” is toned down. Because the Tel can’t stand up that claim.

“Household energy bills are set to rise by nearly £120 a year to fund the development of hydrogen gas, under the Government’s net zero plans”. So it’s now “set to rise” and “nearly” £120 a year. Do go on. “Costs could be added on to household bills from 2025 on top of subsidies for other green energy such as wind farms, under provisions in the new Energy Bill”.

Now these costs, whatever they turn out to be, “could” be added. But then again, they could not. Have another go. “The extra levy could add £118 to annual household bills - a 10 per cent increase on dual fuel bills, according to new analysis from centre-Right think tank Onward”. “Could add”. But perhaps it couldn’t. And then we see a “centre-right think tank” called Onward.

What the Tel appears to have missed in all this excitement is that Onward’s “founders state that Onward would operate in the mainstream of conservative politics, and is a reaction to the ‘lack of energy on the centre right’. It is explicitly aligned to the Conservative Party and is not a charity” as Wikipedia explains. It is chaired by Danny Finkelstein, who is a Tory peer.

Let’s have more from that explainer: “According to the Financial Times, Onward was launched in May 2018 at an event in which then Scottish Conservative leader Ruth Davidson and then environment secretary Michael Gove gave speeches, and Onward’s stated mission is to generate a ‘new wave of modernising ideas’ and ‘a fresh kind of politics that reaches out to new groups of people’”. New wave of Tory propaganda, more like.

So we have a dishonestly slanted article citing a partial lobby group. Can the Tel make it three bad faith strikes in a row? It certainly can. “Conservative backbenchers are expected to table amendments to the Energy Bill in a bid to force Rishi Sunak, the Prime Minister, into a U-turn”. Which back benchers?

“Craig Mackinlay, chairman of the Net Zero Scrutiny Group, said many Tory MPs were opposed to No 10’s ‘socialist energy agenda’”. Ah, the Net Zero Scrutiny Group. The group of climate change denialists that uses alleged “research” from the Global Warming Policy Foundation, a group that, to no surprise at all, specialises in climate change denial and misinformation.

So what else does blowhard Mackinlay have to tell us? “The thought of more levies to try and pick winners that are unproven and in my view unsound just continues what we’ve seen in the whole field of energy policy, which seems more reminiscent of the 1950s Soviet Union that we used to laugh at”. More levies that the Tel just invented in this circle jerk of a climate denial article.

What else does this fellow have to tell us? “We need markets back in control of energy policy because governments are making a complete mess of it. I sense there is concern about all these kinds of policies among colleagues”. So, as the market price of, for instance, gas has fallen far from its peak last year, is he going to lobby for a cut in household energy bills? As if.

Did anyone else speak? John Redwood (no, don’t laugh) declared “The last thing we want is another government-imposed hike in the price of energy. UK households are suffering a hit to their living standards and business is being driven out of Britain. We need a rollback of taxes and subsidies on energy and we need a big expansion of domestic capacity”. Doesn’t make sense.

Domestic capacity of what? And why is he unwittingly talking about Brexit? But enough: these bad faith claims get worked into “stories” with headlines that the article cannot back up, with comments from partisan lobby groups and reality averse here today and gone tomorrow politicians. Then (for instance) the magpies at Mail Online give the spurious claims more reach.

Climate change is real. Net Zero will happen, sooner or later. That is all.

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Piers Morgan - Shame On You

Not so long ago, Prince Harry considered the less than totally ethical, honest and good faith reportage dished out to his wife and concluded that our free and fearless press would only desist from the constant barrage of hateful knocking copy when she was dead. In this, he immediately struck an echo of what happened to Diana, and their relentless pursuit of her.

Evening all

Then came an incident with further echoes of Diana: Haz and Megs attended an awards ceremony in New York City on Tuesday evening. As the BBC has reported, “Prince Harry, Meghan and her mother were involved in a ‘near catastrophic car chase’ involving paparazzi, a spokesperson for the couple claimed”. The chase happened after they left the event. There was more.

And what's more, Ron ...

“In a statement, their spokesperson said the ‘relentless pursuit’ lasted for more than two hours and resulted in ‘multiple near collisions’ … The NYPD confirmed an incident took place involving Harry and Meghan and said numerous photographers ‘made their transport challenging’”. Even Mail Online has since taken down photos that were taken during the pursuit.

At one point, the couple used a Yellow Cab to try and shake off the paparazzi, having by this time taken refuge in a Police Station, but this idea was abandoned after ten minutes. The taxi driver said that in his opinion Haz and Megs were not in any danger during that ten minute segment of the two hour whole, and this was enough for a particular sick media obsession to restart.

To no surprise at all, former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, now for some reason being paid an obscene amount of money to broadcast to very few viewers on Murdoch noise floor occupant TalkTV, was not backward in coming forward to continue his sneering dismissal of anything and everything from the Sussexes’ camp, and with the usual lack of style.

Off he went. “Hmmm … A tale of two statements … one from the Sussexes, the other from the NYPD. One says 'near-catastrophic', the other says 'challenging' but no significant incident. Are recollections varying again? We'll have all the latest on [The All New Percy Moron Show] live at 8pm”. So he’s already one step from calling liar on the Sussexes.

This despite the two statements being not necessarily exclusive of one another. Then came the taxi driver’s statement, which to no surprise at all was taken out of context. It only took another Tweeter to claim that a two hour chase in central Manhattan was unlikely for the mask to slip: “There was no 2-hour chase, their story is unravelling by the minute”. LIAR! LIAR!!

And just to wrap up this latest sad chapter in Morgan’s obsession with the Duchess, he “interviewed” the taxi driver. Who was involved for ten minutes out of two hours. The same Piers Morgan who claimed to be pals with Diana, though what is being alleged in the latest court action suggests that she, like so many who came into contact with The Great Man, was not really a friend.

But he is confirming what Haz had claimed. The sneering, shouting down, and above all the sick obsession are so much part of Piers Morgan’s DNA that he will not be able to stop himself, no matter how much danger the couple and Meg’s Mum were in, no matter how close it all came to physical contact between the vehicles involved, no matter how close to injuries, or worse, they or their pursuers came. He is that far gone.

All that it takes is for one of his followers with a few hundred Twitter followers and who may well have paid for their blue tick to gainsay the Sussexes, and the red mist descends even further. Sad to say, though, that his piss-poor ratings mean hardly anyone sees the meltdown, and even fewer care.

An obsession that won’t stop until there is a body count. Sad but true.

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Nigel Farage Is Leaving The Country

So certain was he that Brexit would be a runaway success, former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage made clear that, in the event of Brexit failing, he would be a runaway himself. He would leave the country, no doubt to the great relief of all those who wished it had happened rather earlier. He was equally certain he would not need to deliver on this.

But that was then, and this is now: yesterday evening, removed from the comfort zone of his bully pulpit on Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), and placed before the inquisition of Victoria Derbyshire, presenting BBC Newsnight, Farage floundered. She reeled off the bad news; he initially batted it back with the usual comment that Someone Else Done It.

This talk will evoke hollow laughter from many who witnessed the 1990s shitshow that was rail sell-off - and its aftermath. Farage blamed the bad news on others? Like all those who said that if the railways had been sold off properly, for which read irretrievably fouled up, rather than only badly fouled up but just about recoverable, all would have been well. No it wouldn’t.

But Ms Derbyshire’s persistence eventually ground down the Farage façade, and then came the admission: “Brexit has failed”. Which provoked this response from LBC host James O’Brien: “The most grimly stubborn skidmark on the underpants of British politics. I know you can’t believe a word he says but he promised to leave the country in the event of Brexit failing”.

So, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, when’s he going, and where (Mr Thirsty is rumoured to already own property in at least one EU Member State), and Two, when are we going to see the rest of the Brexiteer punditerati follow suit, preferably followed by them apologising to the millions of Britons whose lives have become impoverished due to their antics?

After all, as Ms Derbyshire told Nige, “The UK economy is the only G7 economy not back to its pre-pandemic size … business investment has lagged behind comparable economies … economically, the UK would have been better staying in, wouldn’t it?” Come on Nige! “We haven’t benefited economically from Brexit, when we could have done”. This is bullshit.

What has happened since the UK’s departure from the EU, is continuing to happen, and will keep on happening in future, is the result of the UK effectively imposing economic sanctions on itself. There were no benefits to be had from Brexit; all was told over and over again before the 2016 referendum and dismissed by the Brexiteer fringe as “Project Fear”.

Farage did, along with the massed ranks of pundits and lobbyists typified by those who proudly gathered together at Brown’s Hotel in London’s Mayfair on the eve of “Brexit Day” to celebrate their achievement in conspiring to lie to the electorate in order to, as they saw it, see off their opponents and therefore win the game. So they helped screw up their own country? No big deal.

No, I’m not suggesting that any or all of them are forcibly impoverished so they can experience first hand what their actions have forced on millions of their fellow citizens, or subjected to any punishment over and above general ridicule and public contempt. But it would be doing the decent thing to say sorry. Although they won’t. Because none of them gives a damn.

Farage has admitted it was a failure, so what of those who gathered together that evening at Brown’s Hotel? Like Julia Hartley Dooda, breakfast show host at Murdoch noise floor occupant TalkTV? What’s she said about Farage’s admission? Nothing. Not a sausage. Bugger all. Too busy stoking the boilers of the sham culture war. And she is hardly an isolated example.

The odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, still pretending to be a real journalist, has also somehow missed Nige’s admission. And what of Cole’s old boss, the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines? One perusal of the Guido Fawkes blog answers that one: no comment. This blog did not call them The New Guilty Men And Women for nothing. Farage owned up. They won’t.

Because it’s always someone else’s fault. No change there, then.

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Vote Rigging - My Arse

Discipline, if it ever existed at all, is breaking down within and around the Tory party and its hangers-on. Thus we have the unedifying sight of Government ministers and senior MPs attending and speaking today at an event staged by a foreign wacko far right lobby group: here, other speakers happily deploy Nazi-era anti-Semitic conspiracy theories like “Cultural Marxism”.

The event, the National Conservatism conference, features those talking about indoctrination, heritage, culture, and of course Western Civilisation. Meanwhile, the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press, having seen the Tories unsuccessfully try and rig the local election voting by imposing compulsory ID, is accusing Labour of trying to, er, rig elections.

This, not for the first time, is a flat-out pack of lies - hence the Mail has put this particular R-Word in quote marks - but is also total crap. Labour, along with all other opposition parties, is not in power, and so is not about to “rig” anything. Also, with support for EU membership at around 60%, there would be no need to “rig” any future poll, which is the claim being made today.

But what the right-wing press is afraid to tell us is that there is one way in which elections across the UK have been effectively rigged for decades, and that is the First Past The Post system, which allows a party to win a majority of over 60 with just 35.2% of the vote (Labour in 2005). Perversely, the same party scored 40% of the popular vote in 2017, but 93 fewer seats.

FPTP, though, has one thing in its favour: the press, and any lobbyist worth buying, will back it to the hilt. Also, it favours parties like the Tories, and equally disfavours all smaller parties, especially the Greens. The press will harp on about the member-constituency link, which they claim with a straight face is sacrosanct. Sadly, most voters can’t name their MP.

Which shows that press claim was just more bad faith yellow journalism, another cheap distraction tactic. Like the claim that proportional voting systems are unnecessarily complex and difficult to understand, which is also total crap. Consider the d’Hondt system, used in several European countries, which, with multi-member constituencies, gives smaller parties a chance.

Voting takes place. In a multi-member area, the party with the largest vote share gets the first candidate on its list elected. Its Quotient is then increased by one - which means its percentage vote share for the next round is divided not by one, but two. The party that now has the highest percentage vote share gets someone from its list elected. Their Quotient goes up by one.

And so on, and so forth: those wanting to indulge in a little nerdery might usefully check out last year’s elections to Portugal’s National Assembly, the equivalent of our House of Commons. In areas returning very few Deputados (equivalent to MPs), d’Hondt does not work so well: hence the centre-left PS managed to (just) take both seats in mainly rural Portalegre.

It works much better in the big cities: the smaller parties are well represented in Lisbon and Porto, and areas such as Setúbal, which is basically the port city plus “across the river from Lisbon”. Sadly, this proportional system also allows parties like Chega, headed by Farage-lite loudmouth André Ventura, to gain seats: he and his pals are effectively the local chapter of The Fash.

A Parliament, or Assembly, representing a wide range of parties and therefore views cannot be other than A Good Thing, especially in a country where that Assembly is what is called Unicameral (Portugal has no “upper house”; the check on power comes from the elected President, who has the power to dissolve the Assembly and call fresh elections).

Ah, though, say our free and fearless press, what about speed of counting? Isn’t it all slow and bureaucratic? Er, no: once the votes are in and counted, the process of Increasing Quotients and dividing up seats is mainly automated. And it, along with the system in use, cuts out the tedious spectacle of political operatives demanding recounts.

Spain, which retains its constitutional monarchy, also uses the d’Hondt system to elect its Congress of Deputies. Those opposed to electoral reform will carp that both countries were rather late to this democracy thingy, but the question has to be put: do we want large parts of the electorate to be disenfranchised just so the establishment can “rig” the polls?

Once again, the press lets slip the name of the game. No-one is surprised.

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Ryanair - Just Don’t Say MAX

One subject that has faded from view over time, and which has the potential to affect many Brits going off on their hols this Summer, is the saga of the Boeing 737 MAX, the aircraft type that was grounded worldwide after two of them performed what is euphemistically termed a controlled flight into terrain, though it was not those on the flight deck exercising the control.

Now redeeming itself with an airline near you

Now, 346 deaths, Boeing and the FAA having done the walk of shame for their failings, and a redesign so that the 737 MAX’s Manoeuvring Characteristics Augmentation System (or MCAS) can’t routinely stuff an aircraft into the ground later, the plane is in service worldwide - including with budget carrier Ryanair. So how are they selling the MAX to their punters?

That thought entered last Friday after passengers for the 1710 flight from Manchester to Lisbon had been allowed out of their Terminal 3 gate to line up by the aircraft. So there I was, standing by the port side engine, and thinking that the intake was not only larger than on an 800 series 737, but circular, unlike the flat-bottomed nacelle to give the CFM56 enough ground clearance.

It was mounted higher than on the 800 series, and cantilevered further forward too. Hmmm, I thought, this is a MAX, isn’t it? Then another difference, the usual 13 steps up from tarmac to cabin using the aircraft’s internal stairs was now 14 steps. Snazzy rotating overhead luggage bins too, a feature borrowed from the DreamLiner. Let’s look at the safety card.

With Ryanair, the flight safety card, rather like the carrier itself, is right in your face. And it has to tell you what type of aircraft it is. So how do they avoid the moment when one half of the passengers starts up with the bad taste air crash jokes, thus ensuring they spend the flight scaring the shit out of the other half of the passengers? Simples. They don’t mention the M-Word.

“Boeing 737-8200”, it says. And, technically, this is correct. Michael O’Leary and his pals get around introducing the 737 MAX to their route network by not saying the dreaded word. They have figured - correctly - that the vast majority of their punters won’t immediately Google “Boeing 737-8200” as soon as they see the safety card. They’re not interested. Out of sight, out of mind.

Only two previous crashes, don't worry about it

Most passengers might notice the new luggage bins, but not realise what that means. They won’t find the very different engine note during the take-off run - more of a whistle than a drone - to be anything exceptional. Which means that whoever at Ryanair decided not to use the M-Word made the correct call. The plane did the job, the flight was uneventful. Fair play to them.

After all, the 180 or so passengers had other priorities: whether the authorities in Lisbon would allow UK passport holders to use their E-Gates (they did), getting through Terminal 1 arrivals (lots of walking), figuring out the ticket machines at the Metro station, getting downtown, finding hotels and AirBnBs, and venturing out for late food and drinks across the great city.

Those with longer memories might recall that the Airbus A320 family - the 737’s greatest rival - began its service life with some unwelcome headline bad publicity after an Air France crew managed to drop one of the aircraft in a wooded area near Mulhouse-Habsheim airport during an air show. Why I won’t go near Air France, take 94. The planes have done better since then.

The point is straightforward: modern air travel is safe, as safe as decades of learning the lessons can make it. Cars, vans and lorries crash, the mess is swept up, the road is mended and hosed down, and all continues rather as before. A passenger aircraft crashes, the investigators arrive and carry on working until they figure out what happened. Then come the actions.

Perhaps whole fleets of planes are grounded. Corrective action is implemented. Procedures for maintenance, preparation, training and control are updated. Yes, with the 737 MAX, Boeing and the FAA loused up big time, but again, the lessons were ultimately learned - so much so that most of those on flight FR2252 last Friday wouldn’t have noticed much had changed.

Why trains and planes are safer than you think. Whoever the carrier.

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When The Grovelling Stops

The brief period of euphoria is about to come to an end: for all Britons, Royalist, Republican and in such matters agnostic, the routine drudgery of everyday life is about to return. As Winshton put it after the defeat of Nazi Germany in 1945, “we may allow ourselves a brief period of rejoicing, but let us not forget for a moment the toils and efforts that lie ahead”.

Toils and efforts, indeed: Charles the Third has received his Coronation, at significant cost to the taxpayer, in a country where there are now more than 2,000 food banks. He, his family, and senior politicians have overseen lavish feasts, yet food poverty is real and spreading. For him, the world is excellent. For millions of citizens, it is bad, and becoming rather worse.

Small wonder that our free and fearless press continues to demand that its readers keep looking over there: last night’s Coronation concert is today’s front page lead for most of them, with the Prince of Wales widely quoted telling Brian “Pa, we are all so proud of you”, and “Granny would be proud”, while not mentioning The Firm’s treatment of his own late mother.

It is partly for that reason that those same papers churn out an incessant tide of knocking copy, almost all of it bad faith, bottom feeding yellow journalism, aimed at Will’s brother, the Duke of Sussex, and wife Meghan. Haz has rocked the boat, has never forgotten Diana, and never will. He is in the process of suing the arse off the Mail and Sun. Hence the hostile copy.

But the feel good factor brought on by the Coronation is about to prove no more than fleeting. Those pundits using the Royals to tell others what they should be doing, how they should act, and in what manner they should deport themselves are, equally, about to realise the limits of their authority. Britons will realise there are haves and have nots. And that most are have nots.

They will begin to look around their corner of King Charles’ realm, seeing the cracked pavements, the littered parks and greens, the boarded-up shops, the closed banks, the empty town centres of an evening, the increasingly deserted bus stations, the closed pubs, cafés and restaurants, and the long trudge or obligatory drive to the supermarket, and realise they’ve been had.

Thus will the fawning, grovelling and faithful experience the end of euphoria and the return of reality. They were told things would improve, especially with the departure of the UK from the European Union. The reverse is proving true: Brexit has brought soaring costs, especially of food and drink, while the rest of the EU continues to do better than us. We were conned.

That realisation is beginning to dawn: support for rejoining the EU has now climbed beyond 60% in a recent opinion poll. Those politicians who continue to deny this, refuse to consider moving closer to the European mainstream, are out of touch with the people they claim to represent. And that, to its continuing shame, includes the Labour Party.

Increasingly authoritarian laws, exemplified by “conspiracy to cause a public nuisance”, which brings us ever closer to “looking at me in a funny way”, and its implementation on the streets of London last weekend with the lifting of peaceful protesters and even a group of volunteers working with vulnerable people around Westminster, will ultimately provoke a backlash.

Here, too, the politicians are out of touch: not just the Tories who brought us this legal equivalent of state intolerance, but a Labour opposition that dare not say boo for fear of antagonising an equally intolerant press establishment. No erosion of human rights is too much for them: they therefore appear allied with the Tories. They think this will gain them power. They’re having a laugh.

Will this increasingly grim status quo endure? Only until someone, somewhere, charts a way out of the decline, cutting through the fog of media falsehood and misinformation, providing leadership rather than abject subservience to an establishment, too many of whom, especially in the media part of it, treat this as a kind of game. For the have nots, it is anything but.

Labour appears not to have taken on board Galbraith’s definition of leadership: “All of the great leaders have had one characteristic in common: it was the willingness to confront unequivocally the major anxiety of their people in their time. This, and not much else, is the essence of leadership”. Living standards. The NHS. A decent environment. And not authoritarianism.

Nor has the party taken on board Galbraith’s corollary: “A leader can compromise, get the best deal he can. Politics is the art of the possible. But he cannot be thought to evade”. Keir Starmer and his faithful lieutenants have been evading big time. Last week’s local election results were better for the Lib Dems, and especially the Greens, than The Red Team.

As the Coronation vanishes from view, so politicians must respond as the people rediscover reality. Who will lead? And if no-one will, what then?

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Met Police Out Of Control AGAIN

While crowds of cheering Royalists descended on central London for the Coronation celebrations, the Metropolitan Police gave everyone a warning that they had started down the slippery slope into authoritarianism and intolerance, as well as trying to justify their heavy handed ineptitude by changing their story in the retelling, or as most people call it, lying.

Where the made up propaganda went ...

Republic, the group opposed to the continuation of the current situation where our head of state is part of an hereditary monarchy, had met with the Met’s representatives earlier in the week, ensuring that they were open about their intentions to protest peacefully. When the day came, the Met arrested them anyway. That much was bad, but then news came of worse.

Almost as a footnote to their report on Coronation Day arrests, the BBC told that “Concerns about the police's approach to the Coronation were also raised by Westminster City Council's cabinet member for communities and public protection over reports that volunteers with its Night Star programme had been arrested while handing out rape alarms”. Do go on.

“Councillor Aicha Less said the authority was ‘working with the Metropolitan Police to establish exactly what happened’ and was ‘in touch with our volunteers to ensure they are receiving the support they need’”. But we already know what happened. The Met fouled up. They arrested three volunteers whose presence they should already have known about.

Mic Wright - who, to his great credit, went to central London in an effort to have the Met release some of those who had posed no threat at all and had just been nicked for the hell of it - told “The Met arrested members of the City of Westminster’s Night Safety team. They are volunteers. They were pulled last night at 2am and have been held for 14 hours. One of them came out of the station in tears. Police didn’t apologise”. What was going on?

Simples. The Met’s Territorial Support Group, successors to the routinely violent and occasionally murderous Special Patrol Group of days gone by, lifted the three, apparently without checking with local cops who would have told them that this was a genuine group of volunteers that they knew.

The Night Safety team look out for vulnerable women: as part of this work, they hand out rape alarms. But in the Met’s retelling, “We received intelligence that indicated people were planning to throw rape alarms to disrupt the Coronation procession - with concern from the military that this would scare their horses”. This was bullshit. And was soon deleted.

... and, predictably, whence it came

But where did this fanciful story originate? Ah well. To no surprise at all, it emanated from the Northcliffe House bunker in late April. “Extremists' vile plot to spook King's horses with rape alarms: Fears protesters planning to sabotage Charles' Coronation could cause 'serious injuries or even deaths', ex-Grenadier Guard warns” was the headline. And there was more.

“Militant protesters are plotting to sabotage the Coronation by throwing rape alarms at horses in the procession, senior security sources have told The Mail on Sunday … Concerns have been raised at the highest level of Government that the stunt could lead to serious injuries or even deaths if spooked horses bolt into the crowds lining the route”. Meaning what?

Meaning they approached Commons Speaker Lindsay Hoyle for a comment and he didn’t see them coming. But do go on. “The rape alarm plan has caused particular concern among officials because of the unpredictability of the horses’ reaction … Security sources did not specify which group or groups were behind the plan”. Looks like that put the TSG on a hair trigger.

And once again no-one has stopped and thought: the horses used for the parade have been trained not to bolt or rear at loud noises. Like sirens sounding, fireworks - even rape alarms. The MoS isn’t concerned with such detail: it just wants to frighten its readers and make sure all who read its propaganda know that arresting anyone the Met fancies is no big problem.

The MoS also told readers “Scotland Yard chief Sir Mark Rowley has vowed to clamp down on protesters who try to disrupt the event. ‘We will do everything we can to make the Coronation the special moment it ought to be,’ he told the London Assembly’s Police and Crime Committee in January”. Now he faces a greater challenge: owning up and saying sorry.

As Louise Raw, who you can tell as she’s a doctor, put it, “You had the TACTICAL SUPPORT GROUP- who caused the death of Ian Tomlinson and (as the SPG) Blair Peach - arrest young CHARITY WORKERS. One was apparently left bruised. My god lads, you’ve had your shiny new Judge Dread powers for THREE DAYS, and already f***** it!”. Another thought entered.

The Police force that harboured Wayne Couzens, now serving a whole life sentence for the abduction, rape and murder of Sarah Everard, confiscating rape alarms looks shocking bad. Because it is shockingly bad.

Is the Met beyond reform? You might wish to ask that. I couldn’t possibly comment.

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Sue Gray And Tory Lying

Ever since former career Civil Servant Sue Gray resigned her Cabinet Office position and reportedly accepted an offer from Labour leader Keir Starmer to become his chief of staff, there have been howls of protest from those out on the right, claiming that she had broken the rules in allegedly talking to Team Starmer while still in the Civil Service. Some of which came badly unstuck.

He couldn't pony up any evidence ...

Typical of these was an intervention on the BBC World at One programme by (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries who, as the Guardian later reported, “had suggested that the report by the former civil servant on lockdown-breaking parties in Downing Street during Johnson’s premiership was discredited after her decision to become chief of staff for the Labour leader, Keir Starmer”.

Worse, “She described the ex-mandarin as a ‘personal friend of Keir Starmer, someone who has been in discussion over who knows what period of time … about taking the role as his chief of staff, with the primary objective of taking down the Tory government’ … The former cabinet minister went on to allege that there may have been political motivations in the findings Gray reached over the lockdown investigation”. But this was mainly total crap.

So crap, in fact, that after “Starmer clarified in an interview with LBC that Gray was ‘not a friend’ and is ‘not in the same social circles’ as him”, the Beeb had to apologise for failing to challenge Ms Dorries’ allegations, admitting “there should have been more challenge”. Like calling her out for lying.

... nor could they ...

Yet still the briefings came, telling that Ms Gray had somehow breached the Civil Service Code. The Murdoch Sun was especially scathing: “SIR Keir Starmer's 'Mr Rules' rep took a hammer blow last night after Sue Gray refused to say when she started secret talks with Labour … The former Cabinet Office enforcer sparked fury yesterday as she stone-walled a Whitehall probe into her dramatic departure from Government earlier”.

There was more. “Government insiders accused her of breaking the civil service code on multiple occasions. Deputy PM Oliver Dowden pointed out she should have stuck to strict rules around conducting ‘political activity’ and for failing to declare the talks with senior ministers”. And not just the Sun.

The increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph told readers “Sue Gray held Partygate role during secret talks with Keir Starmer … Civil Servant whose report prompted Boris Johnson’s downfall [no it didn’t] was still working for ethics team while in discussions with Labour leader”. Except that this was caveated with “a report is set to reveal”. There was more.

... and nor could they ...

“A report by the Cabinet Office is on Tuesday expected to find that she entered negotiations with Labour while she was working with the department’s Propriety and Ethics Team (PET). At the time the team was advising MPs on the privileges committee investigating Boris Johnson, which Tory sources said on Monday presented a conflict of interest”.

“Tory sources said”. And in a further bout of nudge-nudgery, we are told “The Telegraph has been told of growing concern within Government that [Starmer] may have been holding secret talks with other top civil servants”. Then the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog joined in the falsehood-fest in no style at all this morning.

“Rule-Breaking Sue Gray Stonewalled Government Inquiry … SHADY GRAY STAYS SILENT” we hear, before another caveat: “Despite prior briefing that the update would outline the findings of the Cabinet Office’s review into her departure - including the conclusion that she broke the ministerial code - the statement made no such allegation”. And why might that be, O Great Guido?

... which leads to the inevitable conclusion

Let’s see what light the FT has shone on proceedings, shall we? “Alex Thomas, at the Institute for Government think-tank, told the Financial Times that ministers appeared to have been unable to produce evidence to back up media briefings that Gray had breached the Civil Service Code”. Whoops!

Even the Murdoch Times is in bet-hedging mode: “The Cabinet Secretary forced ministers to weaken a highly critical statement on the departure of Sue Gray from the Civil Service to become Sir Keir Starmer’s chief of staff, The Times has been told”. So the latest briefing is to say A Big Civil Service Boy Did It And Ran Away. They had her bang to rights, honestly.

Except they didn’t: the press was briefed, the smears were spread, the accusations made, and then when it came to ponying up some actual evidence, none was forthcoming. On the eve of a round of local elections that could prove disastrous to them, the Tories have been caught lying. Again.

This blog is not Keir Starmer’s greatest fan. But this time he is in the clear.

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Sun Poll Deception FLOPS

The inevitable combination of falsehood and misinformation that will spew from the right-leaning part of our free and fearless press all the way to the next General Election, and no doubt well beyond there, aimed at the Labour Party has begun for the inmates of the Baby Shard bunker, as one glance at today’s edition of the Super Soaraway Current Bun shows.

There, alongside more Royalist propaganda, readers are told “Exclusive Sun Poll … BRITS SAY NO TO WOKE … Sir Softie blast”, and under the by-line of the odious flannelled fool Master Harry Cole, still pretending to be a real journalist, we learn “BRITS are opposed to explicit sex education in class, have strong views on what a woman is and are proud of our nation’s past”.

All of which has sweet Fanny Adams to do with the term WOKE, which means either “Well-informed, up-to-date”, or “Alert to injustices in society, especially racism”. So we already know that Master Cole does not know what he is talking about, so no change there, then. But, sadly, there is more.

“We asked 3,000 Brits last week what they thought about the state of British politics and what will happen at the next General Election … That’s about three times the size of most opinion polls, for a more accurate take of the national temperature … Just 18 per cent of Brits say we should be ashamed of our past, compared to the 45 per cent who want to cheer for it”.

Which has what relevance to how those punters will vote? None. Nix. Nil. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Nada. Not a sausage. Bugger all. But do go on. “Following outcry about explicit sex acts in the classroom, ministers are due to update guidance on what is appropriate”. “Explicit sex acts in the classroom?” Shit, that’s a hell of a change since I went to school. Or Master Cole is shit at journalism.

It’s the latter, isn’t it? Then we get the bullshit that says a majority one way is a majority, and one the other way means voters are “divided”. Here it comes: “People are more divided however on whether transgender identities have a place in schools - with 51 per cent of voters saying they do, with 36 per cent opposed”. No, Master Cole, that’s a 15 per cent majority not in your favour.

On he drivels. “A majority of the public want the UK to remain signed up to the European Convention on Human Rights, with only 27 per cent saying we should pull out. But 55 per cent of Tory 2019 voters say quit the Strasbourg court”. Selective interpretation. And on those overall, and therefore more relevant polling numbers, Cole just flat-out lies. “Although the gap has narrowed Labour remain ahead by about 43 per cent to the Tories' 29”. So?

And how high would the 13th floor like me to jump today?

“That would likely see Sir Keir fall short of an overall majority in an election but have the largest party”. That’s a straight-A F*** Right Off. One Tweeter observed “Total nonsense from Harry Cole, suggesting a 14 point Labour lead would lead to Labour falling short of a majority … According to Electoral Calculus that would produce a Labour majority of *checks notes*... 146”.

But if at first you don’t succeed, well, suck a little more seed, eh? “Sir Keir’s supporters appear to be on the wrong side of a public sick of woke nonsense seeping into their lives”. Such as? “Sir Keir says a woman can have a penis, but 47 per cent disagree”. Yes, it’s all about blaming Trans people, rather than the party that’s been in power for 13 years and fouled up the country.

“While most of the public think the next election is a foregone conclusion, that cannot be said of the voters that gave the Tories their 2019 majority”. Very good, Master Cole, but the franchise is not yet restricted to 2019 Tory voters, with Jonathan Portes of KCL noting “The public think we should abide by ECHR rulings, and an absolute majority support teaching about gender identity in school. Good to see the Sun telling us that the public are a lot more in tune with the ‘New Elite’ than with the bigots and racists”.

Adam Bienkov of Byline Times added “For context this poll also found that voters: Want to stay in the ECHR … Want gender ID taught in school … Don't think the Conservatives can win the next general election … Give Labour a 14 point lead”. But, it seems, Master Cole has been given his instructions.

That means the Murdoch mafiosi is worried: Rishi Sunak and his pals will do more or less anything that Don Rupioni and the rest of the Cosa Rupra demand of them - within reason, of course. Keir Starmer may play ball. But, then again, he may not. Best to kick the shit out of him, just in case.

Client journalism continues its pointless journey. No change there, then.

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