Doctor, I’m Not Racist - BUT

First broadcast in November 1963, and having survived a hiatus which looked rather like the BBC was trying to kill it off for good, science fiction series Doctor Who is still going strong in its 59th year. It has reinvented itself for successive generations of viewers, partly by the “regeneration” of the Doctor, a device first used in 1966.

Darren's next burning question: does it make you go blind?

So far, there have been 13 “official” Doctors, although you can get to 16 by adding John Hurt’s War Doctor, Jo Martin’s Fugitive Doctor, and (for those of A Certain Age) Peter Cushing’s 1960s film spin-off Doctor. In 2017, Jodie Whittaker became the first female Doctor: she will be departing the series soon. So who would take over the coveted role?

Ncuti Gatwa

Age? While William Hartnell, the first ever Doctor, and Peter Capaldi, the twelfth, had been cast in their mid-50s, Matt Smith, who preceded Capaldi, was just 26. Jodie Whittaker and Jo Martin showed that the Doctor could be a woman. And the came the reveal. “The future is here! Ncuti Gatwa is the Doctor” told the official Doctor Who Twitter feed.

Gatwa is 29; he’s a Scot, although born in Rwanda from where his family fled the genocide that swept that country in the 1990s. He is also gay. This triggered a wave of sneering aggression from the Gammonati: the Twitter feeds for Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), and Murdoch property Talk TV, were a thing to behold.

Those objecting somehow failed to notice that Gatwa is also a BAFTA-nominated actor, or that he had performed a convincing audition. Nor did they notice the positive reaction of many younger viewers who knew him as Eric Effiong from Sex Education, and who might not have been regular Doctor Who devotees. And then came Darren Grimes.

“The BBC have gone for a black and gay man to be the next Doctor Who, it’s a shame they couldn’t find anyone who was also trans to really tick the right boxes” he Tweeted, before demonstrating that he was of less than perfect courage and deleting the comment. But Mirror Online’s deputy news editor Tom Davidson had captured it for posterity.

Grimes, an appallingly immodest individual with much to be modest about, was until recently known mainly for being too stupid, by his own admission, to fill in a form correctly. From there he went downhill to being known for allegations that, when at school, he surreptitiously flogged his log under cover of his desk. Whether this impromptu twanging of the wire involved a dirty book and a hanky has not thus far been clarified.

Demonstrating that he is in a minority, the blowback came swiftly. “‘Tell me you’re a racist without telling me you’re a racist’ - Darren Grimes’ deleted tweet in which he shows his true colours” mused one Tweeter. Danny Wallace added “Darren Grimes is like a name Roald Dahl rejected for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because it was too on-the-nose”. And the Tweeter known as Otto English reminded Grimes where he’s going.

“Carving a career out of saying stupid and offensive things is much like riding a tiger. People will look on in awe and disgust as you prance about making a display of yourself - but one day the beast will eat you. Katie Hopkins demonstrated that. Suspect Darren Grimes will too”. The inevitably sticky ending which awaits Crafty Darren.

Meanwhile, An Adventure In Space And Time continues. Well done Ncuti Gatwa.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by becoming a Patron on Patreon at

https://www.patreon.com/Timfenton