Donald Trump - A Fart Of A Deal

With the possibility increasing daily that his “diplomacy” on the Russia-Ukraine conflict will prove to be Dead On Arrival, more and more citizens, along with increasing numbers outside the USA, are realising that Combover Crybaby Donald Trump was only a successful businessman for the purposes of The Apprentice and its various spin-offs. Reality is somewhat different.

This is, after all, someone whose, to quote the Wikipedia entry, “over-leveraged hotel and casino businesses in Atlantic City and New York filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection six times between 1991 and 2009”. A casino should be a license to print money, so how Trump’s businesses had to file for Chapter 11 protection should tell you something about his abilities.

Or lack of them. Most major banks wanted nothing to do with him following those corporate bankruptcies. Yet this was the individual whose signature book is all about the Art Of The Deal. And this is what he no doubt wanted the world to think about when he waded into the conflict between Russia, the aggressor, and Ukraine, the country that repelled them for three years.

He, the great Donald J Trump, would show his detractors that he alone could secure a deal to end the Russia-Ukraine conflict. Maybe his peacemaking efforts could even secure him the Nobel Peace Prize. Joe Biden never won that! Those Fake News Media channels and papers never won it either!

And so it came to pass that the Trump Gang let the world know that continuing the conflict in Ukraine was pointless, which is true, but also that the bad guys were, at least by implication, those headed by Volodymyr Zelenskyy, which was a pack of propagandist lies, except in pro-Russian talking points, something that only fuelled the suspicion that Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin and his gang in the Kremlin had Kompromat on Trump.

But not to worry, The Donald then showed the world his superior diplomatic ability by inviting Zelenskyy to the White House, and with his monumentally stupid Vice President J D Vance, ambushed the Ukrainian President, following that by having the visitors’ delegation thrown out. He stopped aid and intelligence sharing for Ukraine. As if Russia was pulling his strings.

Then he made sure that the word got out: Ukraine could have had a deal, although what kind of deal was not told. European leaders reaffirmed their support for Ukraine; Trump became enraged and claimed the EU was “very, very nasty”. He then rambled at length about the EU having been formed in order to screw over the USA. Not much Art Of The Deal on view here.

Nor was there much art in Trump’s next move, reported by Kyiv Post: “Trump reportedly won’t restore military aid or intelligence sharing with Ukraine - even if Kyiv and Washington strike a deal on mineral resources - NBC News … He wants Zelensky to cede territory to Russia, take steps toward holding elections, and possibly step down”. Some deal he’s offering, or maybe not.

As for his understanding, or lack of it, of actions having consequences, as he rambles, threats, and blusters, orders for F-35 fighter aircraft are being cancelled in favour of alternatives built not in the USA. More jobs lost, more momentum for the economic downturn. His Ukraine ceasefire proposal was effectively ignored by Putin. But then came the fruits of that diplomacy!

“THOUSANDS OF UKRAINIAN TROOPS ARE COMPLETELY SURROUNDED BY THE RUSSIAN MILITARY, AND IN A VERY BAD AND VULNERABLE POSITION” he told. But not to worry, “I have strongly requested to President Putin that their lives be spared”. Except this was very obvious Kremin propaganda. And that Peace Prize was not getting nearer.

Maybe he could get the press to be a little nicer to him. Not after ranting “These newspapers are really no different than a highly paid political operative. And it has to stop. It has to be illegal ... it just cannot be legal”. The one who brought back free speech, eh? Trump’s deal making wizardry is just a sham. The Russians are laughing at him. He’s crashing the economy.

But he is good at rambling incoherently. So that’s all right, then.

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Reform UK Laid Lowe By Musk

Not since the split in the Peoples’ Front of Judaea has there been a more futile and pointless gesture than the urging, by some among our free and fearless press who should know better, to found a splinter party out there on the right led by those who have grown fed up with Reform UK and the leadership of its self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage.

Yes, Reform UK is a Farage one-man band, as was the Brexit Party before that, and back in the mists of time, as UKIP was before idiots like Paul Nuttall and Adolf von Batten led it. But Farage knows how to whip up the mob just short of being called for incitement. He also knows how to be vague enough on policy not to give so much away, and let the voters assume he’s with them.

That, along with the constant scratching of the racist itch, either explicitly or merely a little nudge-nudgery, is how Reform UK scored themselves enough of the popular vote at last year’s General Election to get five of their supposed big hitters elected. It is a reality which some on the right are finding extremely difficult to understand. One of their number is Elon Musk.

Muskrat has already told anyone who will listen that Farage is no longer the right leader for the party, while appearing to lean towards Rupert Lowe. This may have emboldened Lowe, but now the landowner and former not-always-popular chairman of Southampton FC has found himself cast out, reported to the Police for alleged bullying and threats of physical violence.

And it then got worse: as the BBC has reported, “A senior lawyer appointed by Reform UK to independently investigate allegations against MP Rupert Lowe and his team has denied making comments he says she made … Last week, Lowe said he had spoken to the senior lawyer looking at the claims and said she had told him she was ‘shocked’ at the process, and that no evidence had been given”. Got that? There was then more. A lot more.

“On Sunday, the lawyer, a KC who has not been named by the party but whose credentials have been verified by the BBC, said: ‘I have seen a number of statements made by Mr Lowe MP which are attributed to me and which describe my reactions to the process conducted by the party into the allegations made against both Mr Lowe MP and his constituency manager’”.

HOWEVER. “'I find myself in the unfortunate and regrettable position of having to make this statement to correct the record … I have not expressed either 'dismay' or 'shock' at any time as to the process. Nor have I said 'there is zero credible evidence against [Mr Lowe]', let alone said this ‘repeatedly’”.

It got worse still. “He accused the party of an ‘outright lie’ in claiming he had not co-operated with the investigation … ‘I have been in discussions with my legal team this afternoon, and this will be followed by legal action in due course …I will not have my name dragged through the mud as part of a political assassination because I dared to question Nigel Farage. You have to stand up to bullies, and I am doing exactly that.’”. He’s lost the Reform whip.

But that has not stopped the wacko end of the press, exemplified by the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, punting headlines like “Ousted Reform duo may create new party”. The other part of this duo is Ben Habib. And then the FT joined in, but why is not known.

“Musk looks at backing rival to Reform as Farage feud sinks party in civil war” tells their headline. Well, Muskrat can throw as much dosh as he likes at a vehicle for Lowe and Habib, but it won’t make it fly, or make it credible. Indeed, Musk’s own credibility is not an exactly bankable currency right now.

For instance, after Twitter/X/Whatever suffered a series of outages yesterday, The Great Man declared that the culprit was a DDoS attack, which had originated in Ukraine. Sadly, he was lying: that’s not how it works. David Gilbert of Wired has put it directly: “Twitter's servers were not secured properly and were publicly visible”. In other news, Tesla shares have lost $700 billion in market value since December 23rd last, down 53%.

Musk has screwed his own credibility, and whoever has screwed that of Reform UK, it too is screwed. The Fash eats itself. Just rejoice at that news.

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So Farewell (For Good) Darren Grimes

Never before had fifteen minutes of fame (or infamy) been stretched so far beyond the limits of elasticity. Push was surely destined to give way to shove, and so it came to pass that the not really crafty Darren Grimes was “let go” by Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), to the great relief of all those who had hoped it might happen rather earlier.

So how is this being spun? “Darren Grimes has announced he is departing GB News in an emotional message to viewers. The Saturday Five host has been a staple of The People's Channel since January 2022 … Announcing his decision to step away, Darren said: ‘This is it my friends, this is my last Saturday Five show on GB News’”. Pow! Zap!! DULL!!!

Sadly, there was more. “It's been an absolute joy to see this show, The Saturday Five, go from strength to strength, especially as I helped launch it two years ago … I think it's unique in the British broadcasting market and I know it'll continue to be a great success with these amazing guys here each week”. You’ll have to imagine him taking out his king-sized onion.

And, sadly, yet more. “And it's a a really bittersweet moment because while I'm excited for what's next, I also want to take a moment to acknowledge what this platform and, more importantly, what you, our brilliant viewers, have meant to me personally”. Wasn’t he supposed to have been finished?

“Over the last few years, I've had the privilege of speaking directly to so many of you as saying the things that far too many in the media are far too afraid to actually say … I feel we've tackled the issues head on, we've laughed at the absurdities of modern Britain and we've stood firm”. And then it got worse.

“Darren shed a tear as he continued his announcement with the other members of The Saturday Five panel - Emma Trimble, Dr Renee Hoenderkamp, Alex Armstrong and Cai Wilshaw - comforting Darren and laying hands on his shoulders”. Who they? Who knows? And, indeed, who cares? Oh, and “I'm off to pursue personal projects, but the fight for free speech, for common sense and for truth, it goes on and it must”.

That would be the “fight for free speech, common sense and truth” that saw Dazza broadcast an interview with crusty old bigot David Starkey, in which The Great Historian talked about “damn blacks”, for which he “had several honorary doctorates and fellowships revoked, book contracts and memberships of learned societies cancelled, and his Medlicott Medal withdrawn”. Grimes could have edited it out. He failed to do so.

Grimes, it should not be forgotten, got off a charge of breaking electoral spending law by claiming that his mis-statements were unintentional - in other words, that he was incapable of filling in a form correctly. He has gone from pro-EU and pro-Lib Dem activist to rabid foreigner-baiting Brexiteer, but not just to score clicks and attention, plus get a berth at GB News, oh no.

His last role at the channel was fronting a show called The Saturday Five, a shameless copy of The Five on Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse). The latter is one of FNC’s biggest ratings successes; its GB News copy hardly registers in that department. Whether that has anything to do with Dazza getting his marching orders I will leave for others to decide.

So what “personal projects”, other than desperately hawking his CV to anyone he can find, will Grimes be pursuing? Who knows, and, again, who cares? He’s just another to be found surplus to requirements at the hugely loss-making broadcaster, after Desperate Dan Wootton, not very good actor and DOA tunesmith Laurence Fox, and poundshop padré Calvin Robinson.

The problem for all of those who have gone before Dazza is the discovery that GB News is, to all intents and purposes, the very lowest rung in the media ladder, and not a place from which mainstream outlets are wont to recruit. This time it may really be the end - so he may end up having to find himself a real job. Big Issue seller? Fruit picker? Tube carriage cleaner?

Whatever. There goes Darren Grimes, finally on his way … out.

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Zelenskyy Encounters The Stupid Zone

And so it came to pass that, after Emmanuel Macron and Keir Starmer visited the White House and supposedly got Combover Crybaby Donald Trump in a more amenable frame of mind regarding the future of Ukraine, that country’s President Volodymyr Zelenskyy arrived in Washington DC to experience for himself the masterly negotiating skills of the orange man-baby.

Except that no such skills were on display, because this, like the rest of the myth surrounding Trump, is horseshit of the basest quality. The Donald is only a serious businessman for the purposes of The Apprentice; in real life, he is a serial failure in such matters, and in all likelihood could not negotiate his way out of a paper bag. Nor could his Vice-President, J D Vance.

Zelo Street described Vance as a moron, because he is a moron. This skill was on full view as the world’s media assembled to see just how much successful softening-up had been performed on Trump earlier in the week, only to discover that the answer to that one was None At All.

Worse, it was clear that the sole reason Zelenskyy had been invited to DC was to humiliate him in front of the assembled media representatives. The problem for Trump and Vance was that he declined to be humiliated, and instead remained in combative mood when confronted with the onslaught of weapons grade stupidity from two individuals more ridiculous than Laurel and Hardy, but without any of the talent, or, indeed, any of the laughs.

Vance decided to talk about diplomacy. Zelenskyy had news for him: “Putin broke the ceasefire. What kind of diplomacy, JD, are you speaking about?” JD, for his part, fired back as if playing the lamest PR for the University of Lame in Lame City in the state of Lame. “I think it's disrespectful to come into the Oval Office and try to litigate this in front of the American media”.

Kaitlin Collins of CNN noted “What just happened in the Oval Office was nothing short of remarkable. What began with questions about security guarantees for a ceasefire with Ukraine turned into an angry shouting match between Trump, Vance and Zelensky. Trump was fuming, ending with, ‘We have empowered you to be a tough guy…You either make a deal or we are out. You don’t have the cards.’” What deal would that have been?

Aaron Rupar had more from Trump: “Don't tell us what we're gonna feel. You're in no position to dictate that. You're in no position to dictate what we're gonna feel. We're gonna feel very good and very strong. You're right now not in a very good position. You're gambling with World War 3”.

Who was dictating to whom, though? Clearly, more sneering humiliation was needed to show the foreigner who was boss. And so it was that a deeply stupid questioner called Brian Glenn piped up “Why don’t you wear a suit?!? Do you own a suit?” Who is this Brian Glenn? As if you needed to ask.

Drew Harwell of the WaPo knew. “The reporter who asked Zelensky if he owned a suit, Brian Glenn, is from the pro-Trump network Real America’s Voice and Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's boyfriend. He got one of the rare Oval Office interviewer spots after the White House blocked the Associated Press”. Mehdi Hasan added "What a joke this country has become. Far right Trump flatterers cosplaying as journalists in the Oval Office”.

It got worse: the Trump gang then asked the Ukraine delegation to leave the White House, a move which was briefed to Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse) as “kicked out”. At FNC, Bret Baier, formally one of their more sane pundits, suggested to Zelenskyy that he should apologise to Trump. But for what? A deliberate, crude and pointlessly stupid ambush?

Ron Filipkowski of Meidas Touch concluded “Trump and Vance needed to create an incident to provide a justification for their pre-planned abandonment of Ukraine now, then separation from NATO in the near future. That’s what that was all about, and that was always the way a second Trump term was going to go”. And the free world needs a new leader. Sharpish.

The USA is now in the hands of deeply stupid people. As in, more deeply stupid than any of their predecessors. Be afraid, people. Be very afraid.

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