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Saturday 30 March 2024

Carole Malone Easter Ban ISN’T

Another public holiday of Christian tradition, another lame attempt by bad faith actors in and around our free and fearless press to talk well, but lie badly, about how the Rotten Lefties™, Scary Muslims™, and of course the hated BBC, are somehow “Cancelling Christianity”. Yes, Easter is being systematically wiped out! Except that this is total horseshit.

Carole Malone

At the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph, Christopher “No” Hope told thatBBC ‘abandons Christianity’ after dropping traditional Easter service broadcast”, only for someone on Twitter, X, or whatever Muskrat’s calling it this week, to add “The BBC is showing on its main channel a full Easter service from Canterbury Cathedral on Easter Sunday”.

But the idiot who wants people to call him “Chopper” (is he a fan of young peoples’ cycles from days gone by?) has served up a mere Hors d’Oeuvres for a rather more pungent Entrée brought forth by the appallingly batshit Carole Malone over at the Daily Brexit, still called the Express, where someone calling themselves a journalist has done very little journalism.

Teased from the Express’ front page as “Why are we forever apologising for wishing Happy Easter”, and with the Dan Hodges-inspired absent question mark, the supporting article bears very little resemblance to reality, to which seasoned Malone observers may shrug and reply “no change there, then”.

Off she goes: “I still 100 per cent believe in, and live by, the principles of my religion. But what I see is that Christian traditions - like Easter - are being wrapped up and sold as ‘all-inclusive events’ [no citation], with the Christianity part phased out because it’s somehow become an irrelevance, or worse, an embarrassment [no citation]. There’s no respect for Christianity any more [no citation]”. Would Madam care to stop generalising and lie more specifically?

She certainly would. “We’re not allowed to call Christmas Christmas in case it offends other religions”. Bullshit. Jesus of Nazareth is an important prophet to Muslims, for instance. But do go on. “Nativity plays are renamed ‘winter celebrations’”. This refers to a hearsay claim from 2014 by “Parents on Netmums”. The BBC report of the unsubstantiated claims can be read HERE.

And, sadly, there is more. “Why the hell are we forever apologising for [Christmas and Easter] and trying to dress them up as something else?” We’re not. Have another go. “This week, we’ve seen stories about shops calling Easter eggs ‘gesture eggs’ to be ‘inclusive’”. The Beeb report hasn’t got a photo of that. And the “to be ‘inclusive’” is just another false assumption.

Worse for Ms Malone, not that she’ll take any notice of it, was Snopes taking the claim “In March 2024, the British candy manufacturer Cadbury renamed its chocolate Easter eggs ‘gesture eggs’and declaring it FALSE. And her claim “We have Iceland replacing the crosses on Hot Cross Buns with a tick” is a flat-out lie: no replacement has taken place. Then it gets worse.

It’s no wonder church congregations are dwindling if children aren’t being taught about Christian traditions. I’m guessing there are children who believe Easter is just about holidays and chocolate eggs”. She said it! Chocolate Eggs! Instead of Easter Eggs! But seriously, she knows what the problem is.

Yes, it’s Scary Muslims™! “The point about the Islamic faith is that its followers are fervent. They protect it. They refuse to have it disrespected. But Christians aren’t doing any of that any more, because they’ve been made to feel Christianity is a ‘white’ outmoded institution [no citation], which is maybe why it’s being systematically phased out”. That’s a straight-A Fuck Right Off. No-one, but no-one, is systematically or otherwise phasing out Christianity.

Anyhoo, do we get a rousing peroration? Er, “I said at the start I don’t go to church every Sunday but I am a Christian and I demand the right to have my religion respected along with everyone else’s, and I resent those meddlers who think it’s OK to phase out or tamper with my beliefs”. But no-one is tampering with her beliefs. So this article didn’t need to be written.

Except to scare her target audience by lying. And that’s not good enough.

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Anonymous said...

The only people wanting us to say "Happy Easter" are those who seek to commercialise it. It seems you can buy "Easter Lights" now and the sheer number of Easter-themed cards and soft toys are becoming bewildering. For those who practice Christianity, isn't this supposed to be a more solemn event than Christmas?

Anonymous said...

There are rather a lot of "Christians" whose appearance in a church is solely limited to hatching, matching and dispatching, whilst holding views that would go against the central tenets of Christianity - see Cold War Steve passim.

Anonymous said...

No time at all for Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism or any of the other superstitious shite. If belief in any of them brings comfort to vulnerable individuals, fine; that's their personal problem. Evolution will do the rest.

But there's even less time for an empty headed gimpette like Malone. She and her type are everything wrong with Homo sapiens.

Burlington Bertie from Bow said...

Is Carole Malone Lily Savage's 'secret mum'?

(But I suppose we're not allowed to say that anymore).

Anonymous said...

Lily Savage's secret boyfriend ?

Anonymous said...

I find calling it xitter is the shortest way of saying X, formerly Twitter.

Anonymous said...


Nigel Stapley said...

I call it 'TwiX'.

And it's perfectly correct to call Hope 'Chopper', because he's a gigantic prick.

Ed Balls said...

As edgy comedy goes BB, that is right up there with Michael Mcintyre.

I would say as edgy as a circle, but "circle" is an Eddie Izzard work, and we all know how you feel about the likes of her.

Mr Larrington said...

Moreover, “Chopper's” day job is at GBeebies, whose religious programming today is a big fat zero. While the Beeb, in addition to the Easter Service from Canterbury and the regular “Songs Of Praise” also has Pope Frankie doing his spiel in Rome, where the Pope lives. And if anyone living personifies Christianity, it’s the Pope. It’s part of his job description.

I expect the Gammonati will be calling him out for “virtue signalling” by tomorrow.

Anonymous said...

For additional Gammon laughs we have had the spectacle of the porcine Mike Graham on Xitter telling the Archbishop of Canterbury, no less, when Easter was... and doubling down on it.

Burlington Bertie from Bow said...

Early signs of Hayhurst Syndrome symptoms, Balls. Resist it before it becomes an obsession.

Anonymous said...

A very strange woman with no discernible sense of decency. Clearly in need of help. Just another media hack.

Anonymous said...

Xitter, shmitter.

Just call it shitter.

Anonymous said...

Frankie Goes To Calvarywood.

But I'd rather have 'virtue signalling' than gammon vice signalling any day.

Ed Balls said...

I wouldn't worry too much BB. I struggle to get published here, no chance I am going down the Hayhurst route (or bypass).

James said...

Malone is a pugnacious woman and I wonder if as she retires to bed, she takes off a face mask and is in fact in a uncanny manner what children in the 17th to 18th century thought what a witch was.

James said...

There are Christians and then there are 'Christians', Malone is of the latter, the sort that Christ himself would floor with a vicious martial arts style kicking for bringing Christianity into dispute ! : )

James said...

Put a blonde wig and lipstick on a donkey and it will be more human than Malone. And a better journalist.

Anonymous said...

Never mind that absurd moron.

Here's the kind of journalism the "intelligence community" don't want you to see: