King Has Cancer - Haz To Blame

On Monday last came the news which would keep our free and fearless press in front page headlines and why-oh-why punditry for days afterwards: the King had cancer. This had been discovered during his recent prostate surgery, though what part of the body was affected was not told. Charles is 75, and half the population will get some kind of cancer in their lifetime.

Sarah Vine - only hinting ...

So it should not have been such a shock. Nonetheless, every front page, including the FT, gave the Royal condition due prominence yesterday. What was also given front page billing was the Duke of Sussex hastening to be by his father’s side, though by today, the spite and bad faith merchants at titles like the Daily Mail were already using this to kick Haz.

Hence this morning’s headline “HARRY SPENDS JUST 45 MINUTES WITH CHARLES … and Duke and William have no plans to meet at all”. Yes, he got the first London flight out of Los Angles, endured an eleven hour journey, was then driven straight to Clarence House, and this was WRONG and BAD.

This spiteful and hate-generating drivel is reminiscent of Lyndon Johnson bemoaning the constant negative press coverage he received as the Vietnam war went from bad to worse for the USA, reportedly telling an aide “If I went down to the Potomac and walked across it, tomorrow’s headline in the [Washington] Post would be ‘President can’t swim’”.

But at least the Mail has not (yet) sunk to the level of blaming Charles’ condition on his youngest son. Or tried too hard to kick Megs while they’re at it. Sure, Sarah “Vain” Vine approached the bad taste line with her column today, but stopped short of saying that the Sussexes Done It. “Harry has - to put it mildly - been at war with his father for the past few years” she begins.

Do go on: “as well as having to cope with the death of his beloved Mama, the King has been left utterly heartbroken by his younger son’s attacks, both on him personally, on Queen Camilla and on other members of the family”. No citation. Try again: “it’s clear from the depth of Harry’s rage and resentment that he is a troubled soul … nothing pains a parent like seeing their children fighting”. Nearly saying it. But not saying it. Then she gets close.

... while Mike Parry actually goes there

“If I were Harry and I were being brutally honest with myself, I might feel a slight tinge of concern that the current family breakdown might not be the best medicine for his father’s ill-health”. Nudge nudge, wink wink, eh Squire? But over at Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s news channel”) there is no such reticence. This morning, fascist bigot Mike Parry has gone there.

Here’s his pitch. “Could the stress of having to sort out the Harry situation of the past two years have contributed to his illness? Because we know that stress does contribute to illness. Stress can give you heart attacks. Stress can give you nervous conditions, and I believe if you ask top doctors, they’ll say yes, it could be responsible for at least enhancing the King’s anxiety”.

Cue someone billed as a Top Doctor being summoned to back up this hokum later today. But there was more. “And that anxiety in itself might have worked its way physically into his body … I mean, the more you worry about things in life, you do inherit medical conditions, without a shadow of a doubt. Like for instance heart … who’s to say that can’t affect you in other areas of your body with other diseases?” Thus speaks an expert on, er, nothing at all.

Yes, who’s to say? But as the Tweeter known as GB News Spin Room reminded us, “Mike Parry claimed on GB News that the stress of dealing with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, was causation for The King’s cancer diagnosis. No point complaining though, Ofcom think this is totally fine”.

Plus GB News will probably throw him a few more biscuits for being the first one to say what more of their dubiously talented roster of gobshites will be saying very soon. I mean, it’s only FREEZE PEACH, innit? From there it’s not far to Haz and Megs having open season declared on them. Who was it that took out a lawsuit against the Mail’s publishers? What a coincidence.

GB News leapt from gutter to sewer long ago. So at least they’re consistent.

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