Dan Wootton Joins The Megs Obsessives

Former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan might have been thought to have the saddest obsession with the Duchess of Sussex, but his undisputed world title is now up for challenge. And that challenger is the deeply unpleasant Dan Wootton, now a host at Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) and a columnist for the Daily Mail, where he has just put one over on Morgan in no style at all.

At this point, the thought might have entered that it would be difficult to go after Megs right now, given she and Haz have not been saying much of late, but Desperate Dan has found a way round that. He’s seen that the Cambridges have had a less than totally enthusiastic welcome from the citizens of Jamaica, added something that the Sussexes said some time ago, and declared that They Done It. Maybe a Tardis is involved somewhere.

The creative - and, indeed, wrong-headed - nature of Wootton’s argument is summed up by the headline. "Shame on Meghan Markle as her propagandists use the fantasy that the Royal Family is racist to derail Wills and Kate’s Jamaican tour and destroy the Commonwealth”. She didn’t say the Royal Family was racist, but hey ho. Do go on.

“Meghan Markle’s pack of lies to her nodding BFF Oprah Winfrey suggesting the monarchy is a racist institution [she didn’t] and casting doubt on its senior members is now providing a significant boost to the fast-moving republican cause in Jamaica at the worst possible moment. For all their talk of believing in and loving the Commonwealth pre-Megxit [strawman], Harry and Meghan have become the pin-ups for its destruction [no citation]”.

Sadly, there is more. Rather a lot more. “This was always the concern of senior courtiers when Meghan’s claim to Oprah about a so-called unnamed ‘royal racist’ who asked about her unborn baby’s skin colour went unchallenged [no citation, nor will there be] … ‘This was the nightmare scenario after Meghan’s Oprah lies - now it’s coming true,’ says a concerned royal insider”. Insider? Wootton looking in the mirror, more likely.

Then comes the inevitable appeal to an authority Wootton arguably does not possess. “As the journalist who broke the most stories about former Suits star Meghan’s tumultuous time in the Royal Family, including the Sussexes decision to Megxit, it’s utter hogwash to suggest her race played any role in the ensuing rows”. White man with overactive North And South says someone who is not white is a liar, and They Done It. Trust him. Or not.

“Meghan wasn’t pushed out of the Royal Family because of ethnicity and to even countenance such a fantasy is irresponsible”. Don’t talk about race! How dare anyone talk about race! The gobby white man says so! Could it get worse? Hypocrisy, maybe?

You got it. “Meghan soon realised a life of service wasn’t for her. She had zero interest in supporting the Royal Family and zero interest in the Commonwealth, but cared a whole lot about her bank balance and celebrity status”. Caring about one’s bank balance and Sleb status? Why was it Dan Woootton went to GB News? Search me, eh?

But good to see the admission that Desperate Dan is up there with the host of upcoming multinational Opinutainment property The All-New Percy Moron Show. And obsession.

Meanwhile, Megs might manage a “Dan who?” His name’s Dan, he’s a desperate man.

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