Bozo, Covid, And The Queen

Today is the day: the moment when alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson can announce to a grateful public that Covid-19 is no longer a thing, that restrictions can be discarded completely, and that the nation can now regain its freedom, as if wearing a face covering in indoor settings somehow removed it in the first place.

As the BBC has reported, “Speaking before Monday's announcement, Mr Johnson said his plan for moving out of the pandemic would bring society ‘towards a return to normality’ after ‘one of the most difficult periods in our country's history’ … No 10 said the success of the Covid vaccination programme had put England in a ‘strong position to consider lifting the remaining legal restrictions’”. But then came the less good news.

And that was that the Queen had tested positive for the virus, this having been discovered via the kind of routine testing that Bozo’s bonfire of restrictions would do away with. That Her Majesty has now apparently contracted The Rona rather puts the mockers on the idea that it’s no longer a thing. So our free and fearless press has had to apply maximum spin to the news in order to keep Bozo’s big announcement on track.

Nay pandemic? One should cay cay!

In this, the Fourth Estate has been assisted by Royal discretion, as the Beeb has also noted: “there are likely to be few details of how she might be treated or updates on her Covid case … This reflects a strong convention of privacy surrounding the Queen's health … Even though it's believed the Queen has had three Covid vaccinations, only the first has ever been formally acknowledged”. So the papers could be suitably creative.

The increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph has been just that. “Queen vows to carry on working with Covid … ‘Mild cold-like’ illness won’t stop duties as PM declares end of official virus curbs”. And when did Her Maj take this mythical “vow”? Ah, but we are also told by hack Bryony Gordon “Isolation was so much worse than catching Covid”. Ho yus.

Feeding the readers a pile of patriotic but totally made up horseshit was not restricted to the Tel: the Mail was on the same page with “QUEEN’S COVID EXAMPLE TO US ALL … She tests positive at age 95 but carries on working … as Boris is set to unveil his blueprint for living with the virus today”. And what work is she doing? No citation. Nor will there be.

Even the Mirror, mindful no doubt of this Platinum Jubilee year, has joined in the grovelfest: “As PM Lifts Virus Curbs … QUEEN GETS COVID BUT SHE CARRIES ON … Monarch, 95, has ‘cold-like symptoms’ but will do light duties”. No “vow” there, though.

HRH? HRH?!? Victoria Newton to the Tower!

But the paper that has taken the Royal biscuit in no style at all this morning is the Murdoch Sun, which has demonstrated not merely that it and journalism are not always on the best of terms, but has also suffered a basic fact check fail in very large letters indeed, proclaiming “Outbreak at Castle … Queen, 95, hit by Covid … but she vows to work on … HRH TO WFH”. But Brenda is not HRH. She is HM. Orf with their heads!

All of which will look seriously stupid if the Queen is laid low by The Rona - or worse. Meanwhile, the latest seven day averages for this “now over” virus are New Infections 43,000, Hospitalisations 1,250, and deaths 144. Every day. Which means one thing.

Covid-19 is not over. Bozo is just playing to his back benchers. Don’t be distracted.

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