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Tuesday 12 May 2020

Guido Plumbing Gets Fawked

Those out there on the pro-Tory Brexiteer right found a new hero yesterday evening, as plumber Ryan Price appeared on Channel 4 News and defended the lockdown-easing proclamation of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson to the hilt. “‘Be sensible... What do you want? A full handbook to tell you what to do?’ Plumber Ryan Price says the government guidance on returning to work is clear enough for the public”.
The Murdoch goons at the Super Soaraway Currant Bun have hailed this deliverance, telling readersNo-nonsense plumber hailed a hero for his response to Boris Johnson’s lockdown plan”. Hailed a hero by the Murdoch press? I’ll pass on that, thanks. But do go on. “Ryan Price defended the PM and cut through the ambiguity of recent government advice and said the instructions were clear so long as Brits continued to remain ‘sensible’”.
They admitted the advice was ambiguous. But there was more. “The Surrey handyman said: ‘It's sort of leaving it up to us a little bit ... to you know, if you feel safe to do so then do it. It's not really hard to understand. Be sensible in what you're doing and stay away - 2metres apart when you can - wear your PPE while you're at work. I'm not sure what you want? A full handbook to tell you what to do?’” Some out on the right were impressed.
One of them was the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines, who (before 2000 hours yesterday, please note) observed “Ryan Price, plumber, explaining matters to [Hugo Rifkind], Times leader writer”. Why would a Times leader writer, a Murdoch journalist, be anywhere near the hated Channel 4 News? Rifkind tried to let Staines down gently.
I don't think that's me”. Because it wasn’t. Staines failed to take the hint. “You don't even sound sure about that”. Rifkind tried again. “It's just you're normally so reliable”. And at just after 2000 hours, Staines set himself up a treat: “You actually pretend to be someone else for a living”. Rifkind duly obliged. “But your name is Paul”. Here all evening, and all that.
The problem was that Staines had still not figured out that he had messed up. An observant Tweeter tried to underscore Rifkind’s hint: “Google images strongly suggests it is someone else”. It was indeed someone else. Someone not unrelated to Channel 4 News’ Business and Global Trade Correspondent Paul McNamara.
And he duly intervened a few minutes later to muse “I’ve always said that [Hugo Rifkind] is a very handsome chap”. The Fawkes blog has been reduced to doxxing Labour Party supporters for appearing before the cameras whilst expressing opinions, recycling propaganda from the IEA, another of those Astroturf lobby groups, and cheering for their hero Bozo The Clown. Now their boss has put the lid on it.

What led Staines to foul up so badly? Who knows? And who cares? Another fine mess.
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The toffee (597) said...

What led Staines to foul up so badly?

That bottle of cooking sherry, most likely because the gormless fat fuck was too bone idle to walk the extra 30 yards past the closed oddbins, too tight to spend a few quid in there, and too haughtily condescending to stand in a queue at a discount supermarket amongst John Q Plebiean with their common diseases, just so he can get a bottle of 'frosty jack' or other cheap cider that's never seen an apple in it's concoction.

Useless porcine oaf.

Anonymous said...

Oh FUCK, not ANOTHER plumber to line up next to the long-ago Yank version, Joe The Plumber (to say nothing of the Watergate plumbers). But this one a gammon from Surrey FFS.

It's almost as hilarious as Creepy Hancock materialising in front of a bad picture of Brenda Von Windsor.

Johnspartacusanonymous said...

Lets face it, Mr Staines' brain was pretty fried even before ha became an utter Sot