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Monday 19 March 2018

Julia Hartley Dooda Hearts Owen Jones

There comes a time for all former wannabe and now has-been pundits when they stretch the limits of their credibility beyond the limits of elasticity, with the resulting SNAP so deafening it can be heard across the land. Thus it was for downwardly mobile self promotion artiste Julia Hartley Brewer yesterday, as she showed the world that she is far less pleasant than even her sternest critics thought possible.
We know who you are, thanks

In her latest desperate attempt to pretend that she is still relevant to anyone other than Herself Personally Now, Ms Hartley Dooda decided to kick Owen Jones, because, well, he was there. “My timeline is full of comments about @OwenJones84. Can I let you into a little secret? Like most people who’ve had the misfortune of dealing with him at close quarters, I can assure you that the only thing Owen Jones really cares about is Owen Jones. Just ignore him”. DAHLINGS! He’s so GHASTLY! I mean, REALLY?!?
In reply, Jones was as straightforward as one might expect. “Hi Julia: there's literally not a single friend of mine who thinks I care about anything other than my beliefs. Your poundshop Katie Hopkins politics aside, you are, on a personal level, one of the most unpleasant people I've ever met in the British media, and that is something”.
One instinctively knows exactly what he means. So did Pete Heffernan, who pointed out Ms Hartley Dooda’s spectacular demonstration of Olympic-level freestyle all-in idiocy on the subject of international trade. Bethany Usher agreed: “Honestly I don’t know how @JuliaHB1 ever dared showed her face again after this video. I literally wanted to crawl into my own skin with embarrassment for her”. And that wasn’t all.
Ms Hartley Dooda seems to have forgotten the Sky News paper review incident where Jones walked off the set after presenter Mark Longhurst persistently deflected, rather than address the Orlando nightclub shooting as a homophobic hate crime. She was the other paper reviewer. Jones stressed later that she was not to blame for the incident, saying “And please lay off @JuliaHB1 - none of the abuse directed at her is in my name”.
For extending the hand of friendship, Ms Hartley Dooda used the platform inexplicably given her by the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph to launch a tirade of abuse at him, including the thinly coded suggestion that he had been drunk on set. Her rant was typified by assertions such as “This is peak Generation Snowflake … If Owen Jones wants to live in a world where people can only say what is on the officially approved list of platitudes, then perhaps he has more in common with Islamic State than he thinks”.
All of which effectively confirms what Jones said, and in spades. And just to show she is just too superior for the rest of us mere mortals, Ms Hartley Dooda has also let everyone know “I’m taking a week off from early alarm calls for the @talkRADIO breakfast show next week as I’ll be away skiing. NOTE: I’m rubbish at skiing so my tweets will mostly be moaning about the cold & ‘guess where this bruise is’ photos. Just thought I’d warn you”.

DAHLINGS! It’s just so GHASTLY and COLD! And I’m just not into it! But it’s so expletive deleteding EXCLUSIVE that I’ve just got to bore the trollies off you all! CIAO!!!

And with that she was thankfully gone. The bad news is she bought a return ticket.


Anonymous said...

"Poundshop Katie Hopkins".

Oo, I bet that went home like an explosive harpoon.

Well in, Owen, well in.

Anonymous said...

I'm rubbish as skiing that is why I don't go skiing.

But Julia Double-Barrel HAS to go there because it's where the wealthy go - don't you know!

Colin The Bat

Burlington Bertie from Bow said...

I thought Katie Hopkins was the Poundshop Katie Hopkins.

Jonathan said...

She was in Costa Rica at Xmas, just ignore her comrades.

Don Wood said...

She is totally irrelevant so not even worth this comment but I had a few seconds to waste