Isabel Oakeshott Shops Sex Pest

The very last thing someone accused of a particularly seedy and gratuitous sexual assault needs is for a supposed friend to come along, only to say that, yes, they done it. But that is exactly what mercenary hack Isabel Oakeshott has done for Stanley, the appallingly behaved father of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson.

Stan The Less Than Man had been accused of spanking then future Tory MP Caroline Nokes, and this revelation prompted Alibhe Rea of the Staggers to add that Johnson Père had groped her rather more recently, at the 2019 Tory conference. Ms Oakeshott then rode to the rescue. Except what she did actually shopped Stanley as a nailed-on sex pest.

Stanley Johnson enjoying the company of another much younger woman

Posting a photo of her with Johnson Senior - the latter appearing to be in what Private Eye magazine might have termed an overtired state - she told “The charming Stanley Johnson can be a little over-friendly - indeed handsy - but I don’t believe this is one for the police. Officers should focus their limited resources on investigating real crimes”.

Ah, “handsy” - another of those terms that appears in That Tory Spreadsheet. As in “handsy in taxis”. Ms Oakeshott has confirmed that “the charming Stanley Johnson” practices sexual assault. And whether she considers this sort of behaviour unworthy of Police attention is irrelevant. Because it really is one of those “real crimes”.

Moreover, her problem is that Johnson Père’s behaviour fits the characterisation portrayed by Tom Bower - as Jonathan Freedland at the Guardian noted, “as an absent father and violent husband, who punched his wife so hard he broke her nose … faithless and a creep … a lifelong flake: dabbling in jobs, failing at most of them, then using his connections to find something else. He is a parasite, sponging off his in-laws and ‘a professional guest’”.

James Felton summarised Ms Oakeshott’s foot in mouth in a few words: “In his defence he does do this sort of thing”. The Tweeter known as Buddy Hell put it rather more directly: “In your attempt to defend him, you've only gone and outed him as a groper”.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Jones QC concluded “I’m no criminal lawyer, but if I was accused of criminal conduct I don’t think I’d be helped by a character witness saying ‘oh that’s just dear old Jones, he does that sort of thing all the time’”. If only a jury were to be made up of Ms Oakeshott and her pals. But the likelihood of that is vanishingly small.

And while self-promoting TalkRADIO host Julia Harltey Dooda whined plaintively “Is this the same Caroline Noakes?” as if Ms Noakes having had a consensual affair with a younger man made Johnson Senior’s behaviour OK, and then complained “Why bring it up now? Why not simply wallop him in the face at the time? Or report him to CCHQ? Why bring it up 18 years later?” others were less sanguine about what happened.

Kate McCann of Sky News was one of them. “You might be OK with someone being handsy but other women would find that uncomfortable [especially] if younger/less established (I would). Your tweet suggests they ought to just ignore it - it's their problem if they're offended, not his for being ‘over-friendly’. It diminishes them”.

Isabel Oakeshott needs to think before she Tweets. One for the Metropolitan Police.

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