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Friday 20 May 2022

Piers Morgan Even More Unwanted

And so the ratings continue to decline, to a point earlier this week when not only did the average audience muster just 24,000 viewers, but by the end, only 10,000 hardy souls remained. The travails of The All New Percy Moron Show, flagship broadcast of Murdoch property TalkTV, headed by the overinflated ego that is former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, show no signs of lessening. And it’s not hard to see why.

And what's more, Ron ...

Morgan is still parading his arguably unhealthy obsession with the Duchess of Sussex, while his target audience has moved on. He whines on about WOKE when most of that audience doesn’t even know what the word means (it would be interesting to see him put on the spot and made to define the term himself). He’s attempting to serve audiences in the USA, Australia and the UK, with guests two-thirds of that audience won’t know.

Worse, it’s now clear that the premise of his show - titled Piers Morgan Uncensored - is false, after a guest called him a cunt live on air and was duly, er, censored as a result. News UK CEO Rebekah Brooks is rumoured to be telling anyone who will listen that the new channel wasn’t her idea, and the show fronted by the former non-bullying political editor of the Sun, Tom Newton Dunn, barely registers on the ratings chart.

Look out, it's Tedious Maximus

The rumour mill is in overdrive: there’s going to be a revamp, TalkTV is looking for a co-star to emulate Morgan’s time at Good Morning Britain, the blame game has started over Newton Dunn’s ratings. But the only one to blame for the lacklustre performance of his show is Morgan himself. And yesterday evening’s offering shows the problem.

What was on the menu? “The female skateboarder usurped by a trans competitor [who cares?] … Piers Vs Anne Robinson [ditto] … Are the police getting too soft? [ditto] … And is cancel culture killing comedy? [there’s going to be some swearing … FUCK OFF]”.

Meanwhile, bald man celebrates winning comb

This was then compounded by over-celebration at a false ratings dawn as Morgan hooted “BOOM! [Piers Morgan Uncensored] beat [Sky News] by a thumping 67% in the ratings last night, and [GB News] by 23%. Thanks for watching & thanks Anne Robinson, [Howie Mandel] & [Frank Luntz] for terrific interviews. I’m off for a long lunch to celebrate”. Meh!

He has to beat Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) every weeknight. Beat them out of sight. And on that 24,000 ratings night, he didn’t. Worse, he’s bring bested by GB News hosts in the hour before his show, and the hour after - former Brexit Party Oberscheissenf├╝hrer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, and deeply unpleasant inward migrant Dan Wootton. The message sent by viewers is not being received by News UK.

So let’s take this nice and slowly: Morgan’s involvement in GMB equalling BBC Breakfast in the ratings war was down to a whole team of people, only one of whom is at TalkTV. And his moment of success there - walking out on weatherman Alex Beresford for being called out on his Meghan obsession - cannot be replicated regularly.

GB News has cornered what little market there is for the truly wacko. Morgan is being outdone by reality shows on mainstream channels. The presenters inherited from TalkRADIO are, not to put too fine a point on it, mainly crap. So very few tune in.

What is the point of TalkTV? If TalkTV can’t answer that question, they’re screwed.

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J said...

Imagine that... when you're on an institutional program you do well, when you think you're the institution you do shit.

Well no one saw that coming... oh, wait, we all did.

Gammon Bastard News, the news of the national front, already proved that maxim when a.f.Nelly got his arse handed to him ratings wise to the degree he went on holiday and never returned (and then blamed it all on wotten lefties, before getting signed up by institutional C4 instead of deservedly rotting in obscurity as a penultimate failure).

Oh well, serves Piss Morganna right.

Mr Larrington said...

(Points; laughs)

It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving colossal bellend.

Anonymous said...

Moron and Nobinson....a marriage made in a pigsty of irrelevant drivel.

Anonymous said...

Morgana le Fae-ces ?