Look - no hands!
Dazza kicked off his latest bout of Olympic level stupidity by pitching this gem: “Say what you want about Donald Trump, but his foreign policy never caused anything quite this disastrous. Horrific scenes and reports of civilians plunging to their deaths whilst clinging onto US military planes”. This is exactly what Combover Crybaby Donald Trump’s foreign policy caused. Because he ordered the withdrawal from Afghanistan.
Indeed, Trump boasted that he would have made the final withdrawal earlier. So, having made himself look foolish once, Grimes doubled down, inviting his followers to contribute to a poll. “The former Tory MP Rory Stewart has said we need to take ‘many many millions’ of Afghan refugees. Would you support such a move?” But Rory Stewart didn’t say that.
What he did say was rather different. “Push the UK government to … Form an international coalition to provide routes, funding + safe-haven for millions of refugees, with homes for them in Britain and across the West”. And so it came to pass that the ridicule began. Including the hashtag that Dazza will never be able to shake off.
First came mere hints: “That was a crafty misinterpretation of what was said, Dazzy-boy. You are known for being a bit ‘crafty’ aren’t you?” And then it became more explicit. “That's not what he said though is it #CraftyWank?” Wait, what? “I thought that the old wives tale was that having a #CraftyWank affected eyesight, not the ability to read. Unless you’re deliberately lying, yet again”. Are we talking dirty book and hanky here?
Looks like we may be: “Dazza missed the bit where Rory Stewart said the 'International Community' not 'we'. Must have been having a #craftywank”. Sounds a bit Percy Punishing In The Palm, doesn’t it? “#craftywank being crafty and rousing up the racists again with his ‘interpretation’ … Hey [Darren Grimes] I hope you find it as funny as I do that you can't tweet without #CraftyWank trending?” Could it get worse for Dazza? It surely could.
“Wee Darren Grimes taking time out from his hobby of having a #craftywank, is being economical with the actualité. By 'we' Rory Stewart was referring to the West not the UK alone. And in answer to his poll, my answer is YES! … If only his grasp of American Foreign Policy was a tight as his grasp when he's indulging in a bit of the old ‘self abuse’. #craftywank”. There does seem to be a suggestion of log-flogging here.
And that’s despite Grimes threatening to instruct lawyers, which had one Tweeter asking “Any news from #craftywank's lawyers yet? I suppose they've started the court case now, unless they've palmed it off?” Meanwhile, Will Black cautioned “Dear tweeple, you realise that every time Barren Grimy's real name trends he goes into an autoerotic frenzy? Don't be his sex toy! Think of his poor mam doing his sheets! Only call him #craftywank as he doesn't like that”. All Dazza’s efforts drowned out by accusations of twanging the wire.
Darren Grimes is a coming man. But maybe not in the way he would like us to think.
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