PMQs – Itch-A-Sketch 10

What, perhaps, lies in store for us politics watchers today when Young Dave faces those rotten lefties, the nationalists, and a barrage of grovelling softball from his own side? There’s the flogging off of more Lloyd’s Bank shares, as well as the suggestion that the Co-Op Bank was leaned on by his mate next door. The teachers’ strike will give Cameron ammunition. And there is the Budget aftermath to digest.

Who will kick off the session? Rosie Cooper isn’t happy about hazardous waste dumping. Cameron deflects. Justin Tomlinson is worried about job losses at Honda, as well he might. Dave is ressuring. But what will Mil The Younger chuck at him?

SSE is what, that’s what! Scottish and Southern Energy is freezing energy prices, so is it now a Communist plot? Dave welcomes price cuts and freezes, because He Done It Personally, and the other lot are rubbish.

Miliband isn’t put off so easily, and back it comes. Ed Davey has called on other suppliers to freeze prices, so is it policy now? Cameron says his reduction of all that Green Crap did it, and reels off other suppliers cutting bills. No, that doesn’t work. The PM denounced price freezes but now supports one. Dave is getting testy, which you can tell as he is going “weak, weak, weak”.

Miliband accuses him of being the PR man for the energy companies! Cost of living has fallen over this Parliament for the first time since the war! The OBR says so! So will Dave admit living standards are now falling? Of course not, we get more and more stats and “they voted against our jolly wonderful budget”. Recession? Yeah, that was the rotten lefties’ fault too!

In among this, Cameron works in the pre-scripted lines about Labour supposedly briefing against Miliband. He successfully uses a question from Stephen Pound, designed to get him to denounce Grant “Spiv” Shapps, to say that Ed likes bingo as it’s the only way he’s going to get anywhere near number 10! Hear hear! What a jolly good jape! Get those order papers waving!

And that is more or less that. Even stevens today, methinks. Despite the “he’s being briefed against”, Miliband could have come off worse, but managed a decent fist of it. Cameron has honed the art of not answering the question, allied to which he can bat out time by reeling off lots of stats and telling the other lot that they’re rubbish.

But anyone looking to learn anything new was to be disappointed, except for one thing: there has not been cross party agreement on amendments to the hunting legislation, so it looks like there won’t be any amendment. Country people may not be so happy.