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Friday 30 July 2021

Farage The Lifeboat Snowflake

Those who thought that there would never be anything pleasurable in watching the output of Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”), unless one was a fully paid-up Brexiteer and not really racist at all honestly, found themselves pleasantly surprised this week after former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage went from dog-whistling bully boy to Uriah Heep tribute act in very short order indeed.

Nige has been flogging his one-trick bigotry pony more or less non-stop since he was given a regular berth at the broadcaster - that being him whining constantly about all those Scary Migrants™ crossing the Channel in small inflatable boats. “Today could set a new record for illegal migrants crossing the Channel. It is out of control. No doubt the Home Secretary will make another tough speech. Priti useless” he ranted on Twitter.

This week, though, he’s decided to venture beyond the pale and go after the RNLI - the charity that runs lifeboat services around the British Isles, those lifeboats crewed by volunteers. They were, he declared, becoming a migrant taxi service. As a result, some of those volunteers were subjected to verbal abuse by the non-racist-honestly Gammonati.

Farage was aghast - well, in front of the camera, anyhow. He wanted viewers to know that he had not been abusive to any lifeboat crews. But that’s not how the game works, is it, Nige? You whistle the doggies and leave them to do the piling on. He also wanted us to know that he had, in days gone by, collected for the lifeboats. The reverse ferret went on.

He hadn’t been meaning any criticism of the RNLI, well, not their volunteers, anyway. His real beef was with the Border Force and the Government, who, he believed, should be sending all those Scary Migrants™ back to France. Even though none of them hailed from France. He did, though, target RNLI Head Office for the crime of defending themselves.

They had gone to the Guardian! How DARE they? They had put out a video! How DARE they? This was PR, dontcha know! And PR is not allowed, unless it’s a broadcast by Himself Personally Now on GB News. So he let RNLI management know that he’d fought bigger and uglier folks than them. What happened then, sadly, was that his campaign developed not necessarily to his advantage. RNLI donations surged.

For which they were deeply and sincerely grateful. “We just want to say a huge and heartfelt thank you from everyone in the RNLI family for the outpouring of support we’ve received in the past few days … We’ve seen a surge in donations over the past 24 hours – both in terms of one-off gifts and hundreds of you who’ve set up a monthly donation. We’re overwhelmed by and incredibly grateful for your kindness”. How much might that be?

Emily Ashton had the answer: “The RNLI says it's received over £200,000 in donations yesterday alone, after lifeboat volunteers told of the criticism they've faced in rescuing people crossing the Channel”. And Mike Galsworthy, who you can tell as he’s a doctor, first noted that Farage was happy to fight with the RNLI, then added this coda.

That’s all the reason you need to donate to the RNLI. Regardless of all else, RNLI are battling to save lives. Farage is battling to save his reputation, according to what he says here”. Slagging off those dedicated to saving lives - Mr Thirsty is totally out of order.

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Mr Larrington said...

New reality TV show: Swim, Gammon, Swim!

In which prominent members of the Gammonati are dumped on a beach near Calais and only allowed back into the UK if they cross the Channel in a small inflatable boat. The show's premiere is expected to include both Niggles Fartrage and Hatey Cockpins, and will debut very shortly after I lead the Panzers down Whitehall.

Anonymous said...

Next up, an attack on the Mothers Union.

J said...

And now Andrew F. "I'm not a racist gammonati who wants kids and women to die at sea... I just employ people who do" Neil has tweeted that he backs the RNLI. I guess he figures that is as close as "both sides" as needed.

Things A. Fucking Neil think are acceptable and not worthy of being censored = Fartage attacking POC's and RNLI.

Things A. Fucking Neil think are not acceptable and worthy of being censored = taking the knee and understanding racism.

He might not be a racist fash-lite but AFN is waddling and quacking like one (and with that shit wig and fat gut he even looks like one).

Jonathan said...

I am puzzled as to why the RNLI hasn't spoken to M'learned friends about Farage's rather libelous comments?

It's an open and shut case, if Thirsty fights it - it's gonna cost him big time or if decides to concede and apologize, the Gammonistas will have tore to shreds metaphorically...
So a win win for the RNLI.

iMatt said...

“The creatures outside looked from Farage to Hopkins, and from Hopkins to Farage, and from Farage to Hopkins again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

With apologies to George Orwell, we see how the racist Farage is now happily aligning with the equally racist Hopkins who wished gunboats be used on immigrants in the Mediterranean. We can only but hope, albeit forlornly that one day Farage will look in the mirror one day and ask himself "Am I the baddie?"

Anonymous said...

They should put Horsey Hopkins, Garage, Moron and Hang Em Shemirani in a rubber dinghy and cast them adrift.

Near Victoria Falls.