Express Calais Spin Unravels

Half-term holidays are upon us: many families are heading off to enjoy a little R’n’R by plane, or driving, the latter mainly involving crossing the Channel either by ferry or using the Tunnel. In order to frighten as many of these punters as possible, the Express has today told its dwindling readership “NEW MIGRANT CHAOS IN CALAIS … Half-term travellers and truckers are under threat”.

There was, as Captain Blackadder might have said, only one thing wrong with this idea - it was bollocks. I know this because I have just done a return trip on Le Shuttle, and the amount of disruption, even after some incursion into the French terminal between Wednesday night and Thursday morning, was piffling, and paled into insignificance when put against far worse delays on the UK’s overloaded motorway network.

So let’s hear the Express spiel, however lame.”THE ESCALATING migrant crisis in Calais last night prompted new demands for action to restore order … British truckers passing through the French port fear their lives and businesses are now at stake … And dangerous new ‘ambush tactics’ from desperate migrants are regularly bringing Eurotunnel train services to a grinding halt”. Like heck they are.

How grinding a halt? There was some queuing of trucks at both the British and French Eurotunnel terminals on Thursday morning, but car shuttles were running with minimal delays. How minimal? After checking in, drivers on the Shuttle I caught were texted to tell of a ten minute delay. It became around 15 minutes. Normally, Le Shuttle leaves and arrives on the dot. But in the context of most journeys, it’s nothing.

But do go on, Express people: “The increasing lawlessness in Calais is likely to cause problems for thousands of families heading off for half-term getaways in the coming days”. Er, says who? “Truckers trade body, the Road Haulage Association (RHA), said it feared family-run firms were facing financial ruin because of the damage to their lorries caused by the rampaging mobs”. That’s interesting.

Why so? Because, by yesterday morning, there were no delays to Eurotunnel services, either car or lorry. There are none today. None. Zero. Zilch. Bugger all. Perhaps the Express can muster a politician to give them a statement? Sadly, all they can offer is a UKIP MEP intent on whining about “open borders”, which is a laugh when you’ve seen the reinforced fences, razor wire and Police presence in northern France.

If Dirty Des’ finest want to see horrendous delays caused to truckers and half-term holidaymakers, they don’t need to go anywhere near the Chunnel. All they need is to look at the UK’s motorway network, where motorists are lucky to be able to manage average speeds of better than 30mph at busy times - like when the half-term getaway takes place. The scare stories about refugees are agenda driven, self-serving drivel.

But that would not enable the Express to whine about the EU. So they ignore it.