Clown Runs For President

Those not yet totally fed up with elections may have noticed that the USA will elect a new President - Barack Obama is in his second, and final, term - late next year. The Democrats’ front runner is Hillary Clinton, and for the Republicans, Jeb Bush must rank as an early favourite. Clinton v Bush? Again? Perhaps someone else would care to inject a little variety into the race? Doesn’t anyone else want to run?

Well, there are already others on the GOP side, and there may be for the Dems too. But in the meantime, the comedy turn has arrived: yes, alleged businessman and promoter of conspicuous consumption Donald J Trump, the man who reminds Brits that farting can sometimes be really important, has thrown his combover into the ring, to the dismay of serious politicians across the USA, who wish he could find something else to do.

Today’s New York Daily News has celebrated the event with a suitable front page, but how has the Twittersphere taken the news? There was some concern about Trump’s eligibility, as Alastair Campbell observed “Donald Trump was not born on this planet. We must see the birth certificate NOW”. Ian Birrell was startled: “Blimey! This absurd billionaire with ridiculous views thinks he can buy his way to the US presidency”.

John Band struck a lighter note, with “Trump: We will ban the importation of pre-cut cheese from overseas … Interviewer: but why … Trump: WE WILL MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN”. Hai thangeow. But The Donald was not a popular choice, as Micah Cohen reminded everyone: “It's official: @realDonaldTrump is the least liked presidential candidate ever!” And that’s from FiveThirtyEight, folks.

And there had to be something hair related. Amanda was the one to bring it to the table: “Donald Trump announces his presidential bid and states that there will be hell toupée”. He’d stick to the knitting, though. But wasn’t there something that usually gets in the way of a Trump Presidential bid? C J Werleman knew what that was: “$100 says Trump drops out of the race before he has to disclose financials”. Ah yes, of course.

That meant taking The Donald seriously was not easy to do, and the great Doc Hackenbush was one of those finding it all too difficult: “This new season of The West Wing looks shite”. I mean, who would volunteer as a running mate? Paul Doucette had a solution: “Here's a picture of me and someone who has a better shot at being president than @realDonaldTrump”. What does the dog think of it so far?

In any case, Trump’s grim reputation won’t help him, as film maker Anthony Baxter reminded us: “Donald #Trump running for President? This is how how he treated 90 year old Molly in #Scotland". And BuzzFeed News brought news that Trump 2016 had already messed up: “Statement from Neil Young on @realDonaldTrump’s use of ‘Rockin’ In The Free World’”. Trump wasn’t authorised to use Young’s song.

So that’s a crap campaign from a joke candidate. Hello there Donald - You’re Fired!