GB News Gets Thirsty

Former Murdoch editor Andrew Neil was unequivocal in dismissing the idea that Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) would be like Fox News Channel (fair and balanced my arse). “In terms of format we are like Fox but we won’t be like Fox in that they come from a hard right disinformation fake news conspiracy agenda. I have worked too long and hard to build up a journalistic reputation to consider going down that route”

There was, he assured the Evening Standard, a “strong editorial charter written into everybody’s contracts saying that if they spread fake news and conspiracy theories they will face disciplinary action”. Sadly, this assurance lasted as long as it took Neil to hand over to the singularly unpleasant Dan Wootton on the channel’s opening night.

Worse, Neil then bowed out (temporarily, we are told) after two weeks, and next came the farce of stand-in daytime host Guto Harri being taken off air - cancelled - for indulging in that FREEZE PEACH which GB News claims to champion. Could it get worse for the great helmsman of Brill-O-Vision? Sadly for Neil, it could. And will do, starting tomorrow.

Responding to grim viewing figures, which have revealed that at some times of the day GB News effectively has no-one watching, management has pressed the panic button and brought forth a new four-evenings-a-week prime time host: step forward former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, who will host, er, “Farage”.

Mr Thirsty has been without a regular media pulpit since June last year, when LBC sacked him, as the BBC reported at the time: “This week the 56-year-old compared Black Lives Matters protestors to the Taliban, for demolishing statues of slaves traders. His departure comes after the station's owners Global Radio were criticised by some presenters over its response to the protests, following the death of George Floyd”.

In the meantime, Farage has spent some time shilling for Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, a campaign which developed not necessarily to his advantage, as Trump lost last November’s Presidential Election. In the wake of Trump becoming one of those losers he claimed to dislike, Farage found himself being grilled by, er, Andrew Neil.

Nige had claimed there had been voter fraud. “So what is the evidence of voter fraud?” asked Brillo. “Oh, the evidence of voter fraud with postal voting, of course, is there for all to see. We know it ourselves on our side of the pond …” Brillo wasn’t convinced. “No, where is the evidence from the United States, of fraud of postal votes?” Come on Nige!

“Because it’s so new, it hasn’t come to light yet”. He could be arguing in his spare time. Neil found this even less convincing. “So there is no fraud”. Farage hesitated, but sadly, only momentarily. “Er, there is no evidence of fraud … at this stage”. It took Brillo less than half a minute to put Mr Thirsty back in his box. The same Brillo who says there won’t be any peddling of conspiracy theories on his watch, because he has a reputation.

But the desperation of bringing Farage to GB News four evenings a week means that conspiracy theories - like the US voter fraud that never was - will be front and centre. Unless there is someone to call him out. And he wouldn’t be there if there was.

So will Brillo ever return? You might wish to ask that. I couldn’t possibly comment.

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