Based Amy Deflates Herself

Yesterday in London, protesters gathered to pass severely adverse comment on the antics of Combover Crybaby Donald Trump. Unlike Monday, when very few people lined the Mall to see the alleged President pass by on his way to Buck House, thousands turned out to protest The Donald’s bigotry. And as there were anti-Trump protesters, so a few pro-Trump fans turned out as well. Which means there had to be Based Amy aka the Bacon Lady.

Amy Dallamura, who styles herself Based Amy, has featured on Zelo Street previously, not least for her ability to be abusive and unpleasant while all the time playing the victim. This time, her mission was to damage the “Baby Trump” blimp, although the one at which she eventually took aim was not the 20 foot tall one - that was already on its way to Dublin, to troll The Donald on the next stop on his trip - but a smaller version.

As she stood close to the blimp, which was being guarded by uniformed “Trump Babysitters”, the conversation shows she knew her actions would get her arrested. But after a little thought - there’s never any more than that with Based Amy - she announced that she was “going in”. She stabbed at the blimp. So she must have been carrying a bladed weapon of some kind, which the cops may later find interesting.

As she backed away, so came the commentary: “Did it … that’s a disgrace … it’s a national disgrace! The President of the United States is the best President ever! Shame on you … don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me … I’m bleeding now … did it”.

And with that, she tried to make her escape. “Right guys, I’m going … I got the balloon, baby … I just ripped it, baby … going down, going down, go get it … you better go check it out, I think Donald Trump’s balloon is not very well. I think it’s going down rapidly for a reason … it’s going down, baby … I gotta get out of here … I’m bleeding quite badly, though”. And then the Metropolitan Police nicked her.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! [Officer gives her the spiel about being arrested] Be careful! I’m disabled! Be careful, I’m going to cooperate … I’m going to cooperate … I hurt myself … be careful, I’m not dangerous [!] Look at the Police, the Police are coming after me … stop it … if you break my bone … what’s your number? I’m gonna sue you [no she isn’t] I’m not resisting, I’m standing still”. Who’d be a cop, eh?

There was, inevitably, more. “I’ve just been assaulted by a Policeman … I’m relaxed … I’m trying not to drop my phone [she is told again to relax her arm] it’s relaxed … Ow! Hey, America, help me, these people are assaulting me … Ow! I’m relaxed … It is so relaxed [screams] [screams again] look at my phone!” And there, on the deck, was her phone.

OH WHAT A GIVEAWAY

And while Based Amy made great play of being nicked, she later dropped herself in it big time by Tweeting out a photo of her injured finger. It needed, by her own admission, three stitches. So the bladed implement she was carrying must have been potentially lethal.

What was that about knife crime in London and the increased penalties for carrying such weapons? Here’s what Gov dot UK says about that: “The maximum penalty for an adult carrying a knife is 4 years in prison and an unlimited fine”.

The authorities’ patience may soon wear out if she’s going to use a knife. Mild hint.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/zelostreet3