Don’t Menshn Katie Hopkins

What would be the ultimate Twitter troll fight? How long would it last? How low would the protagonists stoop? And, most importantly, who would win? Well, now we have the answers to all those questions, after the two closest to being professional Twitter trolls clashed, or at least one of them did.

Both (c) Doc Hackenbush 2014

In the Blue Corner, from a suitably upmarket and exclusive address somewhere in Manhattan, we have (thankfully) former Tory MP Louise Mensch, now a Sun columnist of no known reliability. And, also in the Blue Corner, we have professional motormouth Katie Hopkins, also a Sun columnist. There can only be one winner.

The bar for this scrap was set low by Ms Hopkins; Ms Mensch soon set it a lot lower. So it’s game on, and Katie to throw first. “Just been asked a question by a very fat child. Have to explain that I don’t answer fat children”. That’s breathtakingly unpleasant. Would madam in NYC care to comment?

You betcha, says Sarah: “[Katie Hopkins] you are as ugly on the inside as you are on the outside. Picking on children? New low”. Some might wonder if Ms Mensch has any room to call out anyone – even Ms Hopkins – over being rather less pleasant on the inside, but that’s a particularly nasty riposte.

What would Katie say to that? Well, she wouldn’t: after all, Louise Mensch had taken more than two days to pick up on her Tweet. Katie had decided to, as Tone might have put it, “move on”. Louise had another go: “Katie Hopkins belittled an overweight child. Wonder why? Stigma from growing up as ugly as she did? Soured her?”

At least Ms Hopkins is comfortable enough in her own skin not to go under the knife and decline to come clean about it afterwards. And she was still unmoved, so Ms Mensch went again: “[Katie Hopkins] you are, you know, a very ugly women indeed. You will remain ugly if you lose weight. Your nose is disfiguringly vile”.

Yes folks, we’re in full meow and claws out territory, but still Ms Hopkins was unmoved. Perhaps Ms Mensch should read what she said on an unrelated subject: “I really do not give one little jot what you think. I don’t give offence. You choose to take it. Make better choices”. Smackdown!

And, as for all the “ugly” comments, she doesn’t care about those either: “I am about as hot as a menopausal chicken” [eagle eyed readers may enjoy the comment in response about the KFC bargain bucket]. It’s not easy to get the better of a professional troll who just doesn’t care.

So there you have it, folks: Katie Hopkins is the clear winner of the ultimate Twitter troll fight. The appallingly vain Louise Mensch should take note how the real trolls do it. Or, of course, she could just shut it and stick to the chick-lit.