Don’t Menshn The Hacking Trial Verdict

After partial verdicts were returned in the Hacking Trial – the jury are, as I type, still deliberating on counts against Andy Coulson and Clive Goodman – there was a rush to hindsight-fuelled judgment by some who might have been better advised keeping schtum and leaving it to those who can delineate arse from elbow. And that includes one person somewhere in New York City.

(c) Doc Hackenbush 2014

Yes, to no surprise at all, former (thank goodness) Tory MP Louise Mensch knew absolutely everything about the judgment, despite knowing sweet jack about it. This was demonstrated in an orgy of self-promoting Tweets, extolling the wisdom of Herself Personally Now.

As Rebekah Brooks was cleared of all charges, off she went: “YEEEEESSSSSS Rebekah Brooks CLEARED take that Guardian I knew it”. Had the Guardian been campaigning for a particular verdict? Well, no, but hey ho, eh?

Then came the opinion: “It was obvious following the trial that charges should NEVER have been brought against her. Disgusting politicization”. The decision on whether to charge cannot wait until after the trial, Louise.

And if she’s got evidence of “politicization”, let’s see it (we won’t). But then came Coulson: “I’m sorry to hear that Andy Coulson was convicted. I thought it was on a knife edge in regard to him and I hope he appeals”. The verdict was unanimous.

In any case, he wasn’t really guilty: “Coulson was the finest communications director the Tories had in the modern age. I don’t believe him guilty, either”. How do you know how good he was? You never saw anyone else at work in that role!

But she somehow knew Coulson, even though she didn’t: “I wish I could say that Andy Coulson was my friend. I do say that I always admired him, I admire him now, I hope to work with him one day”. If he goes down, he won’t want to be let out, then.

Then there was a snark to be had: “Think of all those wretched Guardianistas forced to make revisions to their non-awaited Hacking Trial books hahahahaha”. Like Nick Davies? His Rebekah account is already out there. Hahahahaha indeed.

And she still wanted to meet Coulson: “Andy Coulson is an incredible talent and I hope I have the honour to know him one day. Much respect to Piers Morgan for his Tweet”. No more slagging off Morgan to those select committees, then.

Then there had to be a dig at Hacked Off, even if she couldn’t figure out their Twitter handle: “Dear Hacked Off ... I bet you are. Xxxx”. But Hacked Off, like the Guardian, wasn’t campaigning for any particular verdict, either. Their website tells you that.

So that’s the usual stupidity. And Rupe will be pleased at the grovelling support.