Moaning Mandy’s Middleton Mither

Something has clearly upset the Daily Mail’s resident Glenda-at-large (and season ticket holder for the sofa on The Andy Marr Show (tm)) Amanda Platell. And that something is that someone, somewhere, is getting More And Better Invites To Very Important Events And Places For Themselves Personally Now. What makes it worse is that the people concerned are more popular than she is.

The stuff of Sunday morning nightmares

Mandy’s target is the Middleton family, who she clearly believes are getting above themselves, having definitely gone one better than Ms Platell a long time ago, as they are now connected to royalty, while she is not connected to any kind of upmarket privilege at all. So she has decided to use the bully pulpit given her by her legendarily foul mouthed editor to push back.

“I worry the Middletons really do believe they are royalty” muses Mandy, who worries only about keeping her place on Paul Dacre’s roster of Glendas, and her face on the TV as often as she can prevail on the networks to allow her on. This “worry” extends to complaining about the family moving to a more expensive house, and the other benefits accruing to folks with their own successful business.

And the belief “they are royalty”? “A string of racehorses is being planned”. It’s their money and their call. So what? They were in the Royal carriage procession at Ascot? They got invited by Her Maj. Jubilee flotilla? Ditto. Order of the Garter ceremony? Ditto. Royal box at Wimbledon for Pippa and brother? They got invited to that one too. Mandy, you’re just jealous.

In any case, where do you think the idea of the Middletons being “Royal” came from? Which paper christened Pippa Middleton “Her Royal Hotness”? Like in the article HERE? Or this one HERE? Or the piece HERE? That would be the Daily Mail (or, occasionally, competing with the Express for the title of the Daily Pippa). That’s the paper you write for, Mandy. Get over it.

Besides, who said this: “I do not begrudge the Middletons the trappings of their financial success. Turning a kitchen-table enterprise into a multi-million pound party business is an achievement we should celebrate, not sneer at”? Er, you did. It’s from the same piece where you whinge at the family for getting above themselves. So why don’t you follow your own advice for once?

Still, it means regular paycheques, so that’s all right, then.