Farage - The Con Man Returns

As if there were not enough charlatans, spin merchants, one trick ponies, habitual liars, and other practitioners of self-aggrandisement in play during the run-up to next month’s UK General Election, yesterday brought one more con man into the mix. Reform UK’s self-appointed Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage was back in the swimming pool. As the resident turd.

The inevitable news came as Mr Thirsty told his adoring followers yesterday “I will be making an Emergency General Election announcement at 4pm today”. He would take over as head man of Reform from Richard Tice. And, as ITV News then told, he “has said he will stand as the Reform UK parliamentary candidate for Clacton, Essex, in the General Election”.

Thus performing two functions likely to move the dial: One, taking votes from the Tory right, and Two, frightening Muslim voters, and indeed many others who are not white, back to Labour, or, in some areas, the Lib Dems. The net result of all that, whether Farage is elected or not, will be to move the Tories closer to Absolute Wipeout. And probable third party status.

That, though, was not a good enough excuse to plaster Mr Thirsty all over the media, something that has carried over onto many front pages this morning, with the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph proclaiming “I’m back to lead the revolt”. What intercoursing revolt? More accurate was the Guardian’s “Tory alarm as Farage takes control of Reform UK”.

What a difference Combover Crybaby Donald Trump’s conviction makes: Farage was on his way to the USA to lend his backing to the increasingly incoherent orange lump; 34 unanimous Guilty verdicts later, no he isn’t. So what would his USP be? Same as before. He’s dog whistling potential voters with scare stories of Scary Muslims™. Same old racism.

Having accused British Muslims of “split loyalties” (recycling an anti-Semitic trope as Muslim bashing to make it acceptable), of their being a “fifth column”, and more recently claimed that a Muslim proclaiming “Allahu Akhbar” was something deeply sinister, rather than merely saying “God is Great”, which he wouldn’t complain about if the speaker were Christian. Or Jewish.

(c) Steve Bell 2016

By this morning, the habitual lying had kicked in, as he told Mishal Husain on the BBC Radio 4 Today Programme that there were entire streets in Oldham where no-one spoke English. But Ms Husain, like the Beeb’s Ben Thompson, was not persuaded this time round of Farage’s righteousness. Which caused The Great Man to get tetchy and even abusive. It won’t get any better for him.

Not when he is on record as saying “Richard Tice probably does want me to replace him. But do I want to be an MP? Do I want to spend every Friday for the next five years in Clacton?” As the previously best placed candidate, Labour’s Jovan Owusu Nepaul should have that one ready to roll out to any and every voter who even hints at voting for The Thirsty One.

What Reform UK’s opponents should also point out is that this is a party that still wants to dump the country’s problems on migrants, wants to leave the ECHR (why? Oh, I dunno, maybe cos it’s FORRIN), and even wants to leave the World Health Organisation, because Covid Lockdown Conspiracy Theories. What next, leaving the UN? Leaving NATO?

And why do so many media opportunities open up to someone whose party has (for instance) no MPs and just eight councillors, when (for instance) the Greens can muster a regularly re-elected MP and hundreds of councillors? Why pay attention to Farage, who has no plan, and will take responsibility for nothing? Why take any notice of this flap-mouthed con artist?

He gets to take part in the TV debates. Then he’ll most likely lose - for the eighth time - and work to use his newly heightened profile to drag the Tories even further to the right. Screwing over the UK through advocating for leaving the EU was not enough for him: now he wants to screw over UK politics as well.

Which means he needs to be held to account, and exposed for the Spiv he is, and always was. He has no solutions, no plan, and no right to shit on us all.

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