Richard Tice - No-One Cares

With a General Election coming ever closer, and the removal of a corrupt, cynical, venal and above all inept Tory Government so odds-on that it has become a racing certainty, those on the centre-left and left stand to benefit from Tory meltdown, while those out there on the right do not. The problem for the latter is accepting reality, when tempted to pretend otherwise.

Which brings us to Reform UK, formerly the Brexit Party, when it enjoyed some cachet being headed by its best known failed politician, long-time UKIP Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage. Sadly, now that Reform UK is headed by Richard Tice (he’s really not very nice), there is rather more heat than light being generated from its general direction.

So much so that their January press conference did not even merit a mention on the BBC website, even though it was recycled by the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, who tell “Richard Tice has ruled out an electoral deal with the Tories and promised to stand in every seat in Great Britain today at Reform’s January press conference”.

Big expletive deleteding deal. That’ll be another 650 plus lost deposits, then. Do go on. “Tice says he’s had ‘special pleading’ from self-proclaimed ‘nice guy’ Tory MPs not to stand in their seats. In response he says ‘you’ve all broken Britain, you’re all responsible. So there’s no special deals. we stand in every single seat in England, Scotland, and Wales’”. Thus the problem.

Tice, Farage and the rest all backed the exit of the UK from the European Union. But, characteristically, anything that fouls up as a result is not their fault. Not for them these silly ideas of taking responsibility. One swift bodyswerve, and the claim that, if only their Brexit criteria had been followed, all would be well, frees those out there on the right from taking the hit.

Worse are policy ideas such as “Remove EU regulations”. Er, hello, this is stupid, isn’t it? How the merry fuck do businesses trade with the EU Single Market if the rules governing trade within that market get summarily removed? Oh look, there’s also a “One in, one out policy on immigration”. Which hobbles the UK economy’s growth potential. Harry says marvellous.

The relevance of Reform UK, or lack of it, is summed up by the statement “Our Joint Deputy Leader, Ben Habib, will be our candidate in the upcoming Wellingborough by-election”. Quite apart from yet another lost deposit, few know who he is, fewer still care, and yet fewer are likely to vote for him. Habib is not so much a has-been, but more of a never-was.

Unless this group can persuade Mr Thirsty to devote a little less time to activities that generate rather more money for the benefit of Himself Personally Now - like shooting his North And South off on Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) - it will do nothing more than rack up yet more lost deposits. It’ll not do much better with him on board.

Elections to the European Parliament, yes, he’s done well there, but there are no more of those. Farage in charge has never significantly moved the dial in a UK General Election. No new MP ever returned for either UKIP or the Brexit Party. GB News circle jerks might convince them of new relevance. But it ain’t going to happen. They might take a few votes from the Tory right.

The most original looking sales pitch for Reform UK is “Let’s save Britain”. Which is a straight lift of the “Save America” strapline so beloved of combover crybaby Donald Trump and those of like mind out there on the far-right fringe of the GOP. Who are also out of touch with the real world. Tice and Farage fighting over electoral leftovers with a doomed Rishi Sunak. What a prospect.

If only the money being thrown at Reform UK had been donated to food banks, helping rough sleepers find a roof over their heads and a little warmth this winter, helping to repair all those crumbling school buildings, and maybe fund volunteers at NHS hospitals, we would have given some of the least well off a little step up. Instead, it’s being used for self-promotion.

With no realistic chance of electoral success. Sad, really.

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