Covid Probe Bad News? Royal Dead Cat

The inquiry into the handling of the Covid-19 Pandemic is turning out, for the Government, to be a campaign developing not necessarily to their advantage, not that many newspaper readers will know. Disgraced former alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson comes out of the grillings particularly badly; his current successor Rishi Sunak looks little better.

Actual real world news? Maybe not

This is, of course, before either of them gives evidence in person, with the impression being given that Bozo may have already perjured himself with his previously submitted statement to the Inquiry. So the press has had to look elsewhere for its headline deflection. The Mail made the March Against Anti-Semitism front page news on Monday, but a problem has since entered.

An attendance of 60,000 was claimed for the march, which the Mail inflated to a nice round 100,000. However, and here we encounter a significantly sized however, analysis of the crowd has since concluded that the number taking part may have been no more than 2,000. Luckily for the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker, Monday’s Mail front page had another item.

And that was the ever-reliable Royal story, as in championing Brian, his eldest son, Camilla, and Kate, while mercilessly slagging off the Sussexes and anyone associated with them. Omid Scobie, who is considered to be close to Haz’n’Megs - as in, closer than all the no-marks in the London media establishment who invent Sussex stories - has a book out.

Moreover, not only is it a book about that part of the Royal Family that the Mail supports, it has also had excerpts published in France, which means the press having to find someone who speaks French in order to accurately translate it. Scobie has warned against inaccurate translation of the excerpts, but the hunger of the press pack for Royal goss and dead cats prevailed.

And by yesterday, with its release in Australia, Endgame, in which, as Wikipedia tells, “he aims criticism the British royal family as an institution as well as at individual members of the family, especially the Princess of Wales”, was now available in English. So there was no need for the Mail to pretend it was steadfastly against anti-Semitism, and off came the gloves.

This is who you have to hate, Mail readers

While Michael “Oiky” Gove appeared at the Covid Inquiry yesterday, Mail readers were digesting the thundering instruction of what to think. “Royal Book Bombshell … Omid Scobie claims ‘cold’ Princess of Wales is a ‘part-time Royal’ … belittles Charles as ‘inept’ and says William ‘stonewalls’ Harry … Last night appalled Royal sources said new book is simply … POISONOUS”.

In piled the Daily Brexit, still called the Express, in support: “JUST NASTY! Author Scobie takes a swipe at ‘part-time’ Kate”. The increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph sniffs “Scobie’s shameful Royal hatchet job”. But that was merely the Hors d’Oeuvres before a suitably pungent Entrée, as this morning’s Mail has gone Full Screaming Batshit Dacre on its readers.

“SCOBIE BOOK PULLED FOR NAMING ‘ROYAL RACIST’ BY MISTAKE … Sales halted in Holland [they mean the Netherlands] after Dutch version appears to identify family member [they don’t actually know] who allegedly asked about Archie’s skin colour”. Gaza? Nope. Ukraine? Not as such. Cost of living crisis? Nah. Covid Inquiry? Never heard of it, honestly.

There is even comment from the Mail’s least appealing Glenda, Sarah “Vain” Vine, who tells “If Harry and Meghan don’t denounce this poison, we can only assume they endorse it”. Yes, it’s their fault. Who was it that Haz was taking to court for alleged illegal information gathering? But seriously, this shows anyone still in any doubt that the Mail is not a publication majoring in news.

The Royal Book story only manages fifth spot on the BBC website this morning, and that may well be driven by fear of the press establishment rounding on the Corporation for not giving the story that they have deemed the day’s most important due prominence. But this charade of journalism does have one benefit, even if only one person enjoys it.

Sales of Endgame will soar as a result. Which may hurt the monarchy that the Mail is trying to support. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.

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