Lib-Lab Pact - DEAL WITH IT

Some may not have believed the Zelo Street assertion that the right leaning part of our free and fearless press (for which read most of it) and the Tory party under the less than benign leadership of alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson were now as one, such was the level of mutual dependence. But, as so often, the opposition rides to the rescue, and both Tories and press have come galloping into view together.

Daily Mail talking about truth. Yes, well ...

What has sorely tested Bozo and the press elite is the thought that Labour and the Lib Dems may have come to some sort of arrangement for last week’s Parliamentary by-elections, no matter how informal, whereby Labour focused on regaining Wakefield, while Ed Davey and his team put all their efforts into taking previously rock-solid blue Tiverton and Honiton.

As both campaigns proved successful, this gave both Tories and press their cue to unload on the victors. First came comedy Attorney General Suella Braverman, having seen that majorities like hers can be overturned, to whine plaintively “It's disappointing to see that there's actually a dishonest electoral pact between the LibDems & Labour, and that's more worrying”.

How do you achieve a “dishonest electoral pact”? Is there a law against such deals? Because if there were, the Tories, along with former Brexit Party Oberscheissenführer Nigel “Thirsty” Farage, and the Rothermere press, would be in deep doo-doo, the press for encouraging a pact between Brexit Party and Tories, and the two parties for coming to an “understanding”.

Not to mention another of those “understandings”, the one reached by the then beleaguered Theresa May and the DUP in 2017 after she had called a snap General Election and carelessly misplaced her majority. Which involved a bung, sorry, funding enhancement, of around £1 billion. Where, one wonders, does that rank on the Braverman scale of honesty?

And to confirm that press and Tories are indeed in lockstep, today the inmates of the Northcliffe House bunker, no doubt driven on by the expletives, sorry, entreaties of the legendarily foul mouthed Paul Dacre, have joined the attack in a characteristic display of righteous faux outrage.

“After apparent Lib-Lab alliance deals Boris double by-election blow … JAVID: TELL PUBLIC THE TRUTH ABOUT ANTI-TORY PACT … LABOUR and the Liberal Democrats must ‘come clean’ over whether they have an electoral pact, a Cabinet minister said last night”. You and whose army, O Vagina Monologue? In language Dacre will understand, FUCK OFF.

The then Liberal Party had a pact with the SDP for some years: they fought two General Elections alongside one another (1983 and 1987, for those not of A Certain Age). Nowadays, the Lib Dems have not stood a candidate against Caroline Lucas in Brighton Pavilion in either 2017 or 2019. Parties are not compelled to stand candidates, nor to campaign actively for them.

There is no barrier, legal or otherwise, to pacts, formal or otherwise: nothing stopped both Labour and Lib Dems standing aside in Tatton in 1997 to give Martin Bell the best chance of disposing of the deeply unpleasant and irredeemably corrupt Mostyn Neil Hamilton. The recipient of Mohamed Fayed’s legendary brown envelopes was duly dispatched.

If the press and the Tories want to identify the real culprit, they should turn their attention to the First Past The Post electoral system. Each constituency can only have one winner. On mainland Europe, it is not uncommon to have multi-member districts that elect their representatives using proportional systems like the d’Hondt method. Ah, but the local link, they will protest.

That would be the Tories protesting, many of whose candidates have no base, and indeed no interest, in their constituency. Like Bozo in Uxbridge and South Ruislip. The party which still includes MPs who have employment, and directorships, elsewhere. Anyone might conclude that the press just wants to defend a system which benefits its chosen party.

If that press really wanted to promote The Will Of The People, it would not have a problem with maximising the effectiveness of the anti-Tory majority. But it doesn’t, and so it howls in protest, knowing that, should it fail in this latest attempt to gaslight the electorate, its chosen party will be toast.

The people will decide. If it’s not to the press’ liking, BOO SODDING HOO.

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