Sunday, 1 May 2022

It’s Piers Morgan Unwanted

Nothing demonstrates more vividly - and more effectively - the yawning chasm separating reality from the realm of alternative facts peddled by our free and fearless press than the Murdoch mafiosi’s dizzying spin operation in support of their new Fifty Million Dollar Man, that individual being former Screws and Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan.

And what's more, Ron ...

After TalkTV launched last Monday, the feat being at least partially achieved by tacking three hours a day of new programming on to broadcast noise floor occupant TalkRADIO, the hope was that The All New Percy Moron Show, also called Piers Morgan Uncensored, would deliver the kind of ratings that the likes of Gammon Broadcasting™ News (“Bacon’s News Channel”) could only dream of. TalkTV would be a ratings winner.

And by the end of the first week, the Super Soaraway Currant Bun was proclaiming victory, as it told readers “TOP MAN … Piers Morgan’s Uncensored scores another ratings win as TalkTV show lands in number one spot ahead of BBC News”. That should have read “BBC News CHANNEL”, but then, details, eh? And there was more. Rather a lot more.

“Piers' show kicked off with a storming start in the ratings - topping BBC and Sky News combined after its first night … Now, Piers has unlocked another feat by finishing up its first week in the top spot across the board … He shared the ‘bonkers’ news on Twitter and thanked fans for supporting him”. Does he have bad foot odour? I never lock mine up.

And more (sadly): “Piers exploded back onto our TV screens on Monday with his new show, airing in the UK, US and Australia … He said his launch show fulfilled his promise to ‘annoy all the right people’ and boasted how he made headlines around the world … His sensational Trump interview dominated the first two shows of his weekday programme. The pair covered Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the Ukraine war and the US election”.

And who gives a flying foxtrot what Morgan, and indeed Combover Crybaby Donald Trump, think about Haz and Megs, war in Ukraine, or indeed the US election (which Trump lost)? Which brings us to the sad reality: Morgan’s ratings started respectably, but have been in freefall since. Monday’s peak of close to 400k fell to 216k the next evening, then around 123k on Wednesday, and even fewer on Thursday.

By contrast, the last day he appeared on ITV breakfast offering Good Morning Britain saw the show deliver a peak figure of 1.9 million viewers. And even then, the manner in which that peak was delivered (throwing a mardy strop at Alex Beresford and walking off set) could not be sustained on a regular basis. And, for TalkTV, it got worse.


Ratings for the two shows that bookend Morgan’s offering, fronted by Tom Newton Dunn, formerly the non-bullying political editor of the Sun, and Sharon Osbourne, failed to match the GB News competition. Seasoned media watchers may have experienced a sense of déjà vu: Morgan’s 2011 CNN debut scored good ratings, but later the same week he had sunk to third place in the cable news wars behind Fox News and MSNBC.

We already know what he thinks of the Sussexes. We know he knows The Donald. We know he can say WOKE frequently, although he probable doesn’t know its meaning.

Piers Morgan is yesterday’s host. The broadcast world has moved on. Sad, really.


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6 comments:

  1. Steve Woods1 May 2022 at 11:43

    Fifty Million Dollar Man?

    I wouldn't pay 50 pence for him.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mr Larrington1 May 2022 at 11:52

    I went to a gig at London's famous Shepherds Bush Empire the other day. The escalator at the tube station was lined with shitverts featuring colossal bellend Piers “Morgan” Moron appearing to hold up a card with the contact details for DingoVision v2.0's Complaints Department written on it in large, friendly letters.

    Since his show will have been watched by an audience consisting of journalists, bellends, drunks and a cat the fact of said Complaints Department being underwhelmed with angry punters denouncing Moron will doubtless be held up by the aforementioned colossal bellend as a vindication of every last piece of shite that leaves his mouth. Can’t Haz'n'Megs call up Bond James Bond to have him discreetly XPD'd?

    [“No. No, they cannot. Bond James Bond is a fictional character.” – Ed.]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous1 May 2022 at 12:13

    A Howard Beale for the 21st century.

    A fart in a bottle.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Crabsantler1 May 2022 at 13:16

    Who?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1 May 2022 at 20:58

    Didn’t Piers Morgan used to be a has-been?

    ReplyDelete
  6. J2 May 2022 at 07:51

    Piss Morganna proving, as did AF Nelly, that its not the man that makes the show - its the huge and costly back room staff, doing all the actual research and fact checking, that makes or breaks the dumb talking head who has no appeal without the fake veneer of intelligence granted by the back room staff... and there is not a hope in hell that Murdercock's tv station will shell out the same kind of money on back room staff as the real TV stations did.

    ReplyDelete