The city of Lichfield, in addition to being yet another of those places in the Trent Valley where most fast trains on their way to and from London do not stop, has since the creation of its own Parliamentary seat in 1997 enjoyed one other distinction: the presence
in that seat of one Michael Fabricant, “
not exclusively gay”, mentioned on That Spreadsheet (he takes issue with that), and accused on more than one occasion of racial intolerance.
Michael Fabricant MP
Fabbers, as he is occasionally known, is also, as the late Russell Harty might have put it, famous, nay notorious, for his Barnet Fair, which many suspect, staying with the rhyming slang, to be an Irish Jig, there being sufficient of it to occasionally obscure part of his leering Boat Race. There have been many denials that he is folically challenged, but equally, many observers of the Westminster Village who do not Adam and Eve it.
Yesterday, as MPs gathered to hear the latest lame excuse from alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson for his having been given a fixed penalty notice (which he has not contested) for breaking the Covid restrictions which he himself imposed on the rest of the population, Labour leader Keir Starmer
stood up to address the House.
“
This morning I spoke to John Robinson, a constituent of the Member for Lichfield. I want to tell you his story. When his wife died of Covid, John and his family obeyed the Prime Minister’s rules. He didn’t see her in hospital. He didn’t hold her hand as she died. Their daughters and grandchildren drove a hundred miles up the motorway, clutching a letter from the funeral director in case they were questioned by the Police”. There was more.
“
They didn’t have a service in the church. John’s son-in-law stayed away, because he would have been the forbidden seventh mourner. Doesn’t the Prime Minister realise that John would have given the world to hold his dying wife’s hand, even if it was just for nine minutes? But he didn’t. Because he followed the Prime Minister’s rules”. And more.
“
Rules that we now know the Prime Minister blithely, repeatedly and deliberately ignored. After months of insulting excuses, today’s half-hearted apology will never be enough for John Robinson. If the Prime Minister had any respect for John, and the millions like him who sacrificed everything to follow the rules, he’d resign. But he won’t. Because he doesn’t respect John … He is a man without shame”. So how did Fabbers react?
He sat there and smirked. As the story of one of his own constituent’s agony in following the Government’s Covid restrictions was read to the House. “
Look at Fabricant’s face” responded Fionna O’Leary. But he later
expressed sadness, after being called to speak.
“
Mr Speaker, I was desperately sad to hear about my constituency … constituent John Robinson. My own best friend, his mother died in hospital and he wasn’t able to see her”. His speech was slurred, he was unsteady on his Plates of Meat, and gave the impression that he was Elephant’s Trunk and Mozart. One Tweeter asked “
Is Tory MP Michael Fabricant tipsy while asking a question in Parliament? Asking for millions of people”.
Whether or not he had been at the bar prior to taking his seat in the Commons, Fabricant gave the impression that he did not take the subject matter seriously. And while he is unlikely, with a majority in 2019 of over 23,000, to be unseated at the next General Election, his behaviour may have ensured
that some of his colleagues will.
Enjoy your visit to
Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by becoming a Patron on Patreon at
https://www.patreon.com/Timfenton
Careful, Tim.
ReplyDeleteBefore you know it, you'll be smeared as a homophobic, tory-hating commie who jeers at helpless cockneys and their accent.
Expect the M25 Barrow Boy Cops along at any moment. That Jim Davidson would grass his own movver.
Matt Green on YouTube: Michael Fabricant defends Boris Johnson
ReplyDeleteLook out, Anonymous Ubiquitatus!
ReplyDeleteZelo Street's been taken over by cockney spivs, bequiffed metropolitans, wide boys, pearly kings, jellied-eel bovverers and uvver slaaaags.
Tim's gorn and gorn estuary!
Reclaim Zelo St for the tripe-munchers and three-line whippet fanciers! Kick the Saaaarf back down the M1 and back into the festering pit of bourgeois decadence that is the London Orbital!
Second Front Now!
ReplyDelete'ate to question the standards of Norvern wit, Anonymous Primus Quotidianus, but would not a better line for the-execrable-but-apparently-very-popular-on- the-Northern-club-circuit-Jim Davidson be:
'that Jim Davidson would grass his own mower'?
Not sure whether you'll get this, but down South we use a mower to trim the greensward, so 'mower'/'grass', see?
And after all, 'movver' is not actually a word, though 'muvver' indubitably is.
at 15:14
ReplyDeleteNah, he's a fake who can't spell muvver.
Don’t forget the inside-the-ULEZ propaganda clerks, gor blimey!
ReplyDeleteAnd it’s definitely a syrup.
I always assumed that Fabric*nt was just off to see Jagger to audition for the never-satisfactorily-replaced Brian Jones role in a popular London-based beat combo.
ReplyDeleteBut in Tim's picture at the top of the article he looks like one of the original members of the Small Faces.
You're all wrong.
ReplyDeleteIt's "mavver".
Ask that Michael Kyne if he's back from Rorke's Drift.
We can tike it 'Itler. Good old Enoch.
'Ere, wot's all this tykin th'piss aht UV us cockneys an ar axint?
ReplyDeleteEvryone knows we wan the war gynst th'jerries an work arder than ennyone else. So lie orf.
Furvver more evryone nows Essex is th'capital of fashin, leaders in tattoos, tryners an trackies. Proper eggzamples we ar.
I ad that Boris in th'backer me cab once. Proper toff ee woz, brought a Stepney servint wiv im an pide f'dem bowf.
Gawd bless the princer wiles an that Jycob Rees Mogg. They'll sort yiz orl aht.
It's a mark of how captured the Tory party is by the ERG/Kipper Junta, that they lack the spine to jettison The Convict. Even by Tory standards, it's actually a shocking degree of moral bankruptcy.
ReplyDeleteFabricant's smirking is further proof of my theory that Fabricant was a scientific experiment gone wrong, an attempt by Spaffer to clone himself resulted in his hair apparent bring a deformed, twisted Lovecraftian Johnson immitaton, a fabricated fabric***.
And why can't Starmer be more like this more often, and less like the timid, ineffectual creature he has tended to be prior to this week?
Yes, can we have more "pissed-off Starmer" please? The house sat silent whilst he spoke; he sounded more like a PM than Johnson ever has. No umms, errrs and aaaahs, no rubbish, no stammer, no playing to the house.
Delete