Sarah Vine Condemns Herself

Another day, another sad and pointless whining exercise by the unappealing roster of what passes for punditry at the Northcliffe House bunker. Today, it is Sarah “Vain” Vine’s turn to dutifully churn out knocking copy aimed at the Sussexes, merely because Haz and Megs have humiliated the Mail titles in the courts, and no court victory against Associated Newspapers can be allowed to rest without a little vindictive payback.

So what would Madam care to pony up in her quest to slag off the Sussexes? Ah, but of course: they cast doubt on the Mail on Sunday’s veracity by besting the paper in court. So the order of the day is to tell readers that they’re the ones you really can’t trust. And so it came to pass: “If Meghan Markle was wrong about the wedding, how can we believe anything else in her Oprah interview?” One thing is wrong, so everything else is wrong.

Do go on. “Despite what they told Oprah, they were not, after all, married three days before the royal wedding, on May 19, 2018, by the Archbishop of Canterbury … How romantic, how touching. No doubt that was the point of telling the story. Except the Archbishop didn't marry them. By all accounts he administered a blessing; but it was not their wedding”. Who gives a flying foxtrot? They exchanged vows early. So what?

Sarah who?

On drones Ms Vine. “If she is wrong about the wedding, then what else is she wrong about? How do we know that when she speaks her truth, it is the actual fact of the matter rather than her, or Harry's, Hollywood-tinted interpretation?” Sneer. Snipe. Scratch. Condescending sniff. And then Sarah Vine suffers the ultimate self-awareness fail.

“Because if you are going to accuse people of doing terrible things … you have to make sure you are on solid ground. The moment you allow yourself to embellish things, or attempt to cast the facts in a different light, you undermine your case. You become your own unreliable witness, and no one knows what to believe any more”. Er, HELLO?

Accusing others of doing terrible things, while embellishing things, or attempting to cast facts in a different light, er, is EXACTLY WHAT SARAH VINE DOES EVERY TIME SHE WRITES ONE OF HER GOD-AWFUL COLUMNS. Like the one where she makes that claim. And when it comes to the actions of her husband, it only gets worse.

Michael “Oiky” Gove (for it is he) spent the whole of the EU referendum campaign accusing others of doing terrible things, while embellishing for all he was worth. The result is that an increasing number of businesses are discovering that the Brexit utopia “Oiky” and his pals promised them is, in reality, a short-cut to rundown and ruin.

Worse still, Gove the journalist was probably the source of the Murdoch Sun’s fraudulent “QUEEN BACKS BREXIT” front page claim. So Ms Vine knows all about misrepresenting matters Royal. And she’s not finished: “The fact is that these are two of the most judgmental people on the planet”. YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND CERTAINLY ARE.

She could have written this about herself and “Oiky”: “These two are so wrapped up in their cloak of righteousness … Who cares what the peasants back home think? … future political ambitions …Perhaps they just couldn't give a fig”. Digging herself yet deeper.

Sarah Vine is not yet the world’s worst columnist. But you can see it from there.

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