Brexit - The Gathering Shit Storm

And so it came to pass that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson travelled to Brussels to personally take charge of the Brexit trade deal negotiations. He alone could break the deadlock, put the dastardly Eurocrats in their place and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. But alas, this was yet another occasion when reality had to spoil things: Bozo was as inept as ever, and he came away with nothing.

Headmaster and head of modern languages summon Bunter and his side-kick for a jolly good dressing down

There was no cavalry of German car manufacturers riding to the rescue, no picketing by prosecco producers, no French wine and cheese after party. Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission, and chief negotiator Michel Barnier were the ones who held firm; Bozo and his outclassed gofer David Frost were left bereft.

Worse for the UK, the idea that the EU side will budge one millimetre before next Sunday, when Bozo and his pals say it will all be over, is fanciful. The British side has to decide to cave and limit the economic damage - getting a Christmas crucifixion from their fellow Brexiteers for their trouble - or not strike a deal and send the economy over a cliff.

But enough of the clown car - what does this mean for the average Joe and Joanne here at home? What impact will it have on their lives? What might they do to mitigate the chaos that the New Year will bring? Well, the people at Tesco, and perhaps other supermarket chains, have a strong hint for you. They have been stockpiling supplies.

And that is what those who can afford to do so should now be doing, while not forgetting to put aside non-perishable stuff for those food bank donations. Because there are many out there who cannot afford to stock up, or even afford the grocery bill at all. They will, as so often, bear the brunt of the crashing ineptitude exhibited by Bozo and his pals.

Yes, there are going to be food shortages. And no, this should not be happening in this country, but nor should we be forced to put up with a terminally inept Government, paralysed with fear at the choice between doing the right thing and being humiliated, and carrying on and having millions go hungry - or more hungry than they are right now.

So stock up the freezers, get in some canned goods, maybe buy dried beans and pulses - none of that is home produced. Tomato products come from southern Europe, olives likewise. Unless you limit yourself to spuds and onions (plus maybe mushrooms if there is no disruption to trade from Northern Ireland), most of the veg comes from outside the UK.

How long will the shit show last? Who knows? The really scary part is that the people who should be able to answer that question … can’t. We could be facing three months of severe disruption to supply chains, maybe more. All because Bozo The Clown and his pals backed themselves into the Brexit corner and are too scared to be sensible.

And if all those foods do make it to the supermarket shelves before the passing of their best-by dates, expect prices to rise, maybe substantially. So the cost of takeaways and restaurant meals will rise, too. All the while, jobs will be vanishing overseas as firms decline to be part of Bozo’s big mess. So get the food in while you can afford it.

Our Government is too stupid to look after its people. So its people will have to look after themselves. Enjoy the festive season. After that, it will be downhill all the way.

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