Drugs-For-Food Tory Has His Bluff Called

Mark Jenkinson is the first Tory to be returned at a General Election for the Workington constituency since the seat was created in 1918. Not content to merely rest on his laurels, he has decided to intervene in the debate over free school meal provision being extended to holiday periods, but in his own inimitable manner. Jenkinson, only a Tory since he resigned from UKIP in 2016, has made a claim he may have trouble standing up.

Mark Jenkinson MP

Seeing that his colleague Ben Bradley had been called out by Labour’s deputy leader Angela Rayner for claiming that vouchers had effectively been used as payment for brothels and drug dealers, and knowing that Ms Rayner was Tory Target Person #1 right now, he latched on to Bradley’s denial, and raised Ms Rayner a whole stack of chips.

Worth a few grams of Snow, d'you think?

“Here, [Angela Rayner] is either being disingenuous or really hasn’t a clue what goes on in her constituency. I hope for the sake of her constituents it’s the former. I know in my constituency that, as tiny as a minority it might be, food parcels are sold or traded for drugs”. Would Sir care to double down and leave us in no doubt?

He certainly would. “And that’s parcels, not vouchers - which have greater monetary value. As I said, a relatively minuscule number - but we can’t pretend it doesn’t happen. Pretending, to score political points, helps no-one”. Bernadette Meaden was unimpressed. “So for the alleged faults of a tiny minority, they should all go without? Last year around a third of children in your constituency were in poverty. That's probably increased”.

The people at Evolve Politics sensed an opportunity for a little sport. “Hi Mark! Have you got any evidence for this? Would love to see it!” But they could safely be ignored, as they were mere Rotten Lefties™. We know this as “Middle-class wannabe politicians can virtue signal as much as they want. Pretending helps no-one. I’m a working-class Workingtonian. These are my communities - the communities I grew up in, that I spend my time in, that I live in. I wouldn’t change 99.9% of it for the world”. He knows, you know.

Did his comments help? “No, the work I do on the ground, because I won’t ignore it, does. And the work of every community volunteer, every addiction counsellor, every job coach, every social worker and every police officer”. The Secret Barrister remained sceptical. “In over a decade of prosecuting and defending criminal cases involving the supply of drugs, from street dealing to multi-million pound importations, I have yet to encounter the phenomenon of a drug dealer who accepts food parcels in lieu of cash”.

Mark Hebden was more than sceptical. “Try as I might, I can't find a single drug dealer who will give me a few grams of marching powder for for a jar of Dolmio, 400g of long grain and a banana. Starting to think Tories are liars”. Well, Jenkinson has now been given the opportunity to disseminate his claims before a wider audience.

Darshna Soni of Channel 4 News has been in touch. “Hi Mr Jenkinson, have you any examples of food parcels bring sold or traded for drugs? I’ve been reporting on the issue of holiday hunger and #FreeSchoolMeals for a while now, I’ve never come across this. Would like to interview your constituents if you know of any actual cases?” Nick Martin of Sky News added “Let us know when you find out Darshna. This is certainly worth exploring”.

So come on Mark Jenkinson - show us the evidence. After we get the popcorn in.

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