Teaboy Tom Totally Triggered

Despite casually smearing and lying his way through a media career that he clearly does not merit, Tom Harwood, replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog is a terribly sensitive soul. So sensitive, in fact, that he appears to search Twitter for mentions of Himself Personally Now, in order to burnish the turd that is his carefully crafted image, as well as respond to all those Rotten Unbelieving Lefties™.

So it was that when the Tweeter known as Britgirl Hates Brexit passed adverse comment on him, Teaboy Tom was soon in moderately warm pursuit. Recalling the occasion when Harwood had rocked up on BBC Question Time, and told the usual pack of lies about the hated EU, she concluded “Tom Harwood - If I was casting a movie about the Hitler Youth”.

One Tweeter responding to her mused “The passionate excitement of the clapping gammon at the end is priceless”. It is true that the easily led were not about to question what he had just told them, despite it being made up on the hoof by someone fully invested in demonising the EU, to the extent of dispensing with reality.

Another Tweeter noticed the two young women in the audience sitting behind the Happy Gammon Clappers - who were less than totally impressed with Harwood’s rant - and observed “I didn’t watch but these two are all of us”. The Tweeter known as Brexit Buster noted Harwood’s similarity to a fictional character, and asked “Wasn’t he in ‘Cabaret’?”

On a more serious note, Peter Dyke decided to keep it factual - not easy territory for Harwood - and warned “Tom Harwood is wrong. His nationalist rhetoric wins easy cheers, but will not actually solve any of our problems. The EU he describes is not in any way the reality - which is 27 nations (formerly 28) working together to forge common ground, & to cement lasting peace”. To reinforce his conclusion, he had backup.

“He mentions the Lisbon Treaty, and thus references and subtly reinforces the many Fake News stories on this, debunked here by [Full Fact]”. You can see that piece HERE. Meanwhile, Teaboy Tom had been Googling himself, and was instantly triggered. So badly, in fact, that he felt the need to intervene in his usual inimitable fashion.

Looks like it was the Hitler Youth comparison that did the triggering. “Wait so the bloke who’s opposing the imposition of symbols of pan-European nationhood is somehow the nationalist?” This would have more substance if the “symbols of pan-European nationhood” were a fact, rather than a figment of his imagination.

He was too late: after Paul Kearney had concluded “He does have a slightly terrifying zeal like certainty, Irrespective of how nonsensical the thing he's saying is”, the Tweeter known as The Satirist added “This just screams ‘practiced that to within an inch of its life in the mirror.’” Now which figure from recent history does that bring to mind?

For Tom Harwood, after bringing himself Strength Through Joy, Tomorrow Belongs To Him.

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