Brexit - Bozo Panic Buying Begins

With only five and a half months to go before the end of a transition period that alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and his chief polecat Dominic Cummings have declined to extend, despite the severe distractions posed by the Coronavirus pandemic, realisation is dawning that there are going to have to be customs posts, or something very similar, where goods enters the UK.

He hasn't got a Scooby. Again

Realisation has also dawned that the volume of lorry traffic concerned means that such a facility could not be located at the Port of Dover. So it will have to be somewhere inland with sufficient space to park lorries and inspect their cargo. Now, thanks to the good offices of the Guardian, we know where that is going to be. And it’s going to mean serious business disruption for many businesses on the eastern fringe of Ashford.

Dover. Not enough room there, sorry

As Lisa O’Carroll’s article tells, “The government has secretly purchased 11 hectares (27 acres) of land 20 miles from Dover to site a vast new Brexit customs clearance centre for the 10,000 lorries that come through the Kent port from Calais every day. It will be the first customs post erected in the UK to deal with goods coming from the EU for 27 years”.

He's going on telly. But hasn't got a clue either

Where is it? The Government has spelt it out. “We are writing to inform you that the Department of Transport has purchased the site known as ‘MOJO’ (Church Road, Sevington, Ashford). Preliminary works are scheduled to take place on the western parcel from Monday 13 July 2020. This will include: securing the site with fencing, grass and weed vegetation cutting, extensive survey work, the constructing of a temporary site office, and the constructing of a temporary access to the site from the A2070 link road”.

Ashford Retail Park. See the problem?

Ri-i-i-ight. The site is adjacent to the A2070, which feeds into two access points on the M20 motorway. But here a problem enters: opposite the site is the Ashford Retail Park, and beyond that an industrial estate. Adjacent to one of those Motorway junctions is the local Tesco Extra, along with its petrol station, open and busy until 2200 hours each day.

In other words, the road network onto which an additional 10,000 lorries a day are to be superimposed is already busy. And Jason Hunter has been doing the math, as they say, on the problem. He had already concluded “Dover: 11,000 trucks per day. Average trailer has 400 consignments. 40 answer customs declaration form per consignment. 9 customs officers for 8 hours per trailer to check the paperwork. You do the maths”.

Where did he get that “400 consignments” figure? “It's the UK Road Haulage Association quote from the article in the original link”. Oh, and “wait til you hear about the 45 million vehicle crossings of the Irish border every year”. His conclusion? “Just a reminder as to why they need a truck stop in Ashford TEN TIMES bigger than the one they seized on Friday”. Along with an eye-watering level of congestion.

It seems Bozo The Clown and Polecat Dom have decided that Michael “Oiky” Gove, that noted expert in road transport logistics, will tour the TV studios this weekend to let an expectant audience know the good news. However, the idea that he will be able to reassure anyone who has already done their sums on the problem is doubtful.

The Brexit shitshow gradually reveals itself. Don’t say you weren’t warned.

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