Teaboy Tantrum Trashes Tartan Telegraph

One sign of how far the increasingly desperate and downmarket Telegraph has fallen since it was acquired by the Barclay Brothers is the roster of pundits it publishes, most of whom would not have got in the door in the days when the Tel really was a paper of record. That roster has recently been extended to include Tom Harwood, replacement teaboy to the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines at the Guido Fawkes blog.

What time is it Eccles?

Teaboy Tom has now extended his reality-free schtick to his Tel offerings, to the extent that he is now the subject of an escalating row over a total pack of lies he has had published concerning the divergence between Scotland’s devolved Government and that at Westminster over their approaches to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Tom who?

“Nicola Sturgeon’s confused Coronavirus messaging is putting lives at risk” is the title. There is no confusion, and therefore it isn’t putting lives at risk, but this is a mere hors d’oeuvre for a more pungent entrée, where he asserts “There is a good reason the ‘Protect the NHS’ slogan was dropped by the UK Government - there is evidence to suggest it was harming public health [no citation]”. And there was more.

“[Ms] Sturgeon has now relaxed Coronavirus restrictions in a similar way to England, allowing unlimited outdoor exercise, yet she has persisted with the ‘Stay at home’ slogan, rendering it almost meaningless”. This is pure projection: alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson has been under fire since even before his Sunday broadcast for confusing messaging - so let’s pretend someone else is confusing the public instead.

Harwood has also Tweeted “In Scotland, many lives may be being traded away for short term anti-Boris PR gains [no citation]. Sturgeon has flagrantly ignored the pleas from medical professionals [no medical professionals named, and nor will they be] to drop the 'Protect the NHS' slogan that has been damaging public health [no citation]”.

Even without the lies, Harwood’s column makes no sense, and Ross McCafferty had seen enough. “I can't even joke or pretend to be anything other than angry about this moron anymore. Broadcasters' desire to find basically anyone with a face under 30 to spout Tory talk points for 'balance' has created plenty of monsters, but none worse than this”.

He wasn’t finished. “Imagine being Sturgeon, working all the hours God sends reading the science, dealing with pressure and stress and Janey Godley [Don’t ask]. Only to see this cretin genuinely accuse you of being happy to see people die to annoy Boris … ‘All for the sake of some good headlines down in London’ Yeah, the SNP, famous for being wildly concerned with what the English press are saying”. Indeed.

Others were equally contemptuous of Harwood’s dishonesty, like “Haha, ‘increasingly detached from reality’. What a self-projection. SNP polling is through the roof, Sturgeon has confidence of 71% in Scotland (all but the rump hardcore Unionist vote) & her messaging has been clearer/more consistent than the clown in Downing St at every turn”.

There was more. “Are you mental dude, she's clearer than any Westminster stooge at the moment, and I'm not an SNP fan” … “Britain has the second worst death toll in the world thanks to Johnson's incompetence and this chump's whining about Sturgeon with his imaginary medical professionals. Do they seriously think anyone is fooled by this drivel?”

And more. “If there’s one thing N Sturgeon has not done it is deliver confused messaging. Her daily briefings are crystal clear. It’s a sad reflection on you and your profession that you try and score cheap political points” … “People are confused about Stay Home but not about Stay Alert. Utter garbage”. And McCafferty asked once more “What medical professionals pleaded with Sturgeon to drop the slogan?” There weren’t any.

Paradoxically, though, Harwood’s malicious stupidity will not take the heat off Bozo The Clown, which was his intention, but show how confused the advice of the Westminster Government is, and how clear Ms Sturgeon is in her own Government’s messaging. And it will not do the Telegraph’s reputation north of the border any good at all.

The sound of plummeting sales, revenues falling yet faster, and the value of the Telegraph titles in any future sell-off sinking like the proverbial stone. That is the teaboy dividend.

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