Prison Planet Manhood Meltdown

With far fewer newspapers being sold during the Coronavirus pandemic, the opportunity is there for all those New Media wannabes to make their mark, or at least get a little more visibility for their work. The problem for those peddling Fake News and wacko conspiracy nonsense, though, is as before: it doesn’t become more credible merely because there’s a lockdown. And for one clown peddling wacko nonsense, the frustration has boiled over.

The Adonis of InfoWars speaks. No, don't laugh

That clown is Battersea bedroom dweller Paul Watson, part of the convocation of the terminally batshit surrounding Alex Jones at InfoWars. Watson is not getting noticed, and for him this is a problem. So he has picked a scrap with Piers Morgan. But Morgan has better things to do. So he’s blocked Watson, who has had a mardy strop in response.

“Cowardly little bitch. Afraid of the fact that I’m more popular and definitely more attractive than you. Mercenary twat. Debate me, you yellow belly crusty boomer sellout fraud cuck wanker dickhead”. No response. "This fraud hides behind his block because he is a pussy and does not believe what he says”. Long way from Mrs Slocombe, isn’t it?

But he was only getting warmed up. “Piers fears me. Not because I’m even that smart, but because I at least try to be authentic, unlike this nobhead”. Paul, NOBODY CARES. “Everybody who gets as popular as me has some bitch write their ghostwritten book and sells out for cash as soon as possible. Pathetic”. Yes Paul, you’re pathetic.

“Piers Morgan fears me and my spirit animal, which is this hardcore bastard”. A stuffed bird? Yeah, well hardcore. Overdoing the Brain Force™, perchance? “Both my mum and my grandmother threatened to beat the shit out of anyone who threatened me when I was a child. Which is why the whole ‘misogyny’ thing the media says about me pisses me off. My mum and grandma were both based. Fuck off”. Whatever. Carry on.

“You’re such a fucking fraud, that even when you’re trying to insult me, you’re scared of tweeting the word FUCK”. He’s not a patch on Derek and Clive, is he? “Piers Morgan needs to apologize to me for failing to acknowledge how much hotter I am compared to him”. Yeah, cos your pants are on fire. Had he perhaps been hacked?

“Getting a lot of messages from people saying ‘has your account been hacked?’ No it fucking hasn't. I'm angry”. What, for suddenly realising you’re a clown? Oh look out, he’s really losing it now. “I'm not bragging or trying to be arrogant, but do you seriously think I'm an ‘incel' who struggles to attract women? My problem is attracting too many women”.

Yeah, listen up people, he’s got an ENORMOUS PANANGER! “Little known fact that I am very popular with muslim girls … I know that you actually envy me, because you’re a pathetic inauthentic little bitch. And I’m significantly younger and more handsome and more intelligent than you”. It’s HUGE, I tell you! He gets plenty! He’s big, y’know, big … BIG! Shine a light, those bedsheets must be rigid by now.

Piers Morgan is, for all his faults, successful and well-off. And Paul Watson … isn’t.

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