Kay Burley - Crawler Of The Week

In this time of socially-distanced lockdown, what we need from our leaders is not merely the occasional rousing speech, but some vision of how they are going to return us to some sort of normality. Alongside that, we need that little but of good-humoured persuasion, to make sure we keep to the rules. And that is where our media class comes in, or, all too often at present, should do, but fails to. Which brings us to the Westminster bubble.

It's all about meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Those in this hermetically sealed inner sanctum have not exactly distinguished themselves during the Coronavirus pandemic, appearing rather more keen on self-promotion and crawling rather than keeping alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson and his colleagues honest. Today has brought a masterclass in both self-promotion and crawling, while, sadly, setting a shockingly bad example to the public.

So who’s the guilty party? Well, she wouldn’t admit to it, and butter wouldn’t melt there, but Crawler of the Week this week is Kay “Surly” Burley of Sky News (“first for breaking wind”), who took one look at Bozo The Clown standing at his lectern outside 10 Downing Street and gushed “Heavy is the head that wears the crown”. A bucket for Madame!

Tens of thousands of UK citizens have died needlessly, including scores of NHS staff and other care workers, because Bozo and Co dithered on locking down, and that’s the extent of Ms Burley holding the Cabinet’s collective feet to the fire. Worse, she thought this was terribly clever. “This seems to have upset the Numpty Twitterati this morning, so just in case any of them missed it”. So clever she could just soil herself.

Then PoliticsJOE reminded her “Perhaps it’s a good thing Stormzy isn’t on Twitter right now”, which prompted her to be even more clever. “Oh, this is why the numpties are circling. Should have known”. DAHLINGS! It’s so tediously BORING!

Louise Raw, who you can tell as she’s a doctor, tried to inject a little reality into the discussion: “He’s not the King, you daft woman - he’s a very lazy boy”. Indeed. But nothing was going to inconvenience Ms Burley. “Stormzy in a tea cup”. Not even someone pointing out that she got the original quote wrong (“Uneasy”, not “Heavy”) could put her off her clever streak. “Not sure that Stormzy bloke would agree, but what does he know”.

And then a photo emerged, showing Bozo at his lectern, with Ms Burley looking on. Except she was accompanied by several others, none of whom appeared to be making any effort to practice social distancing. There it is - a shockingly bad example to present to the public, just at the time when keeping that distance matters more than ever.

Social distancing? That's for the little people outside the gates

Our media class had the opportunity to rise to the occasion, as their predecessors have with World War 2, the King’s passing, the Coronation of his daughter, Korea, Suez, Aberfan, the Munich Olympics massacre, the Falklands conflict, two Gulf Wars, Pan Am 103, Syria, Libya, the plight of the Palestinians, Poll Tax riots, and so much more.

Instead, Kay Burley has made it all about her. With a puke-making exhibition of crawling, just to underscore the client journalism. The modern media class has failed us again.

Enjoy your visit to Zelo Street? You can help this truly independent blog carry on talking truth to power, while retaining its sense of humour, by adding to its Just Giving page at

https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/zelostreet5