Isabel Oakeshott Private School Fail

After the amateur human being known as Mike Ashley decided that his Sports Direct stores would not be acceding to the Government’s requirement to close their doors, claiming that their staff fell into the “key workers” category as they performed some kind of otherwise unspecified essential service, even mercenary hack Isabel Oakeshott was unimpressed, calling for people to boycott the stores in future.

“This is a colossal misjudgement and should go down in history as a Ratner’s moment” she told her followers, seemingly unaware that she had already made a significant mis-step of her own. Perhaps not realising that private education is nowadays a very minority thing indeed, she decided to complain about it. This did not end well.

“Unbelievably some private schools are already sending parents invoices for next term's fees - in full. While parents home educate their kids…? Absolute piss take” she whined. Before long, it became clear that this was a campaign that had developed not necessarily to her advantage, as the ridicule came raining in on her.

Nick Tolhurst was at the front of the queue: “Thoughts and prayers for the real victims of the Coronavirus here … Parents who send their kids to private schools. Jesus Christ the world could go under and these people still find a way to wallow in their entitlement”. Fiona Agnew added “What do you suggest? They sell off their facilities and lay off their staff and fully rebuild a school in a week once this madness ends? We are privileged to send ours to a private school in Spain and the home schooling effort, online classes and [psychological] support has been amazing”. And those were the more serious responses.

More serious than “They're capitalists who educate children for financial gain. What do you expect?” … “The parents have a choice, they can put them into a normal school. People struggling with the concept of free market when it turns on them” … “Won’t SOMEBODY think of the rich folk?!” and “I wonder if Oakshott has ever encountered reality?”

There was more. “Well, if anyone can recognise rich people taking the piss I suppose it's you, love” … “Ah, the true victims of tory austerity” … “My goodness. I should write to The Times about that if I were you” [Goon Show fan speaks, there], and the priceless “Gosh, how awful. Can't the parents eat porridge and save money?” OUCH!

Wouldn’t one of her fellow right-wing pundits like to come to her aid? Oh hang on a minute, here comes self-promoting TalkRADIO host Julia Hartley Dooda. Surely she will lend the embattled Ms Oakeshott her support? Regretfully, no she won’t: “Most private schools are instigating remote learning so pupils are still being taught”. And that’s yer lot.

Perhaps all those ordinary people who Isabel Oakeshott claims to understand have more pressing problems right now than the 1% whining about private school fee demands.

After all, that’s only about money. For many others, it’s literally about life and death.

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