Dan Wootton Blames Meghan For Crisis

The Murdoch Sun’s deeply unpleasant “executive editor” Dan Wootton noted last month that “A new poll suggests 90 per cent of the UK public believes the taxpayer should not pay for Harry and Meghan’s round-the-clock protection if they live abroad. Canada will cease to pay the bill from the end of this month”. But Hal and Megs were going to become independent, remember? No more taxpayer handouts for them.

There's never an Uzi available when you really need one

And that was surely what Wootton and all the other inmates of the Baby Shard bunker wanted. But he was sure in January they couldn’t cut it out there in the real world. “Is Harry REALLY prepared for life as a civilian, with no privilege, no security and no formal role? Is Meghan, who is not, as far as A-list celebrities go, particularly wealthy, REALLY prepared to work to fund an extravagant and very expensive lifestyle long-term?”.

Worse, their alleged role models supported the wrong party! “They want to model themselves on former US political couples like the Clintons and the Obamas (not coincidentally both Democrats) … And powerful showbiz friend Oprah Winfrey (another Democrat if you get the hint) has already secured them a TV show for Apple, a company with a stupid amount of money to spend on content”. More than Murdoch, you mean.

Sneering, preening Wootton made sure to tell readers “It didn’t work for Edward VIII and his ambitious American divorcee wife Wallis Simpson”. Yeah, boo hiss! But that was then, and this is now: the Duchess of Sussex has, it has been revealed by Disney, secured a role doing the voiceover for a new feature about the lives of elephants.

So the Sussexes are succeeding in their drive to become independent. What’s not to like? Well, for Wootton, just about everything. “GENUINELY mind-blowing. That is the reaction amongst royals and courtiers about Harry and Meghan’s decision to move to Los Angeles in the middle of an unprecedented international health crisis, rather than return to do their duty in Britain”. They no longer have any duties in Britain. Did Dan forget?

Bye Dan - see you and Becky in court!

Seems he did. “The Sussexes had an amazing opportunity to prove to the public here that when the going gets tough they will still be there for their family, the institution of the monarchy and their loyal subjects too. Instead, yet again, they’ve shown their priority is their new Hollywood mates and a lifestyle most of us can only dream of”. You wanted them to make their own money, they’re doing it. But the red mist has well and truly descended.

“Just think about this for a moment: The Duke has decided to leave the Commonwealth to set up home in Hollywood at the exact moment his grandmother is trapped in self-isolation within Windsor Castle because of her age and his dad is in Scotland battling Covid-19”. “Leave the Commonwealth?” What difference would it have made, had they remained in Canada? You’d have slagged them off for extravagance, had they flown back to the UK.

The problem for our free and fearless press more generally, and Dan Wootton more specifically, is that they are used to just inventing any old drivel about the Royals and getting away with it. Moreover, the Royals have to sit there and let the press shit all over them. Hal and Megs have decided they’re not playing that game. And they’re suing the Murdoch mafiosi. Which makes the likes of Wootton sour as hell.

But don’t forget, elephants have long memories. And they can shit more than Murdoch.

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