Jennifer Arcuri Won’t Go Away

As the General Election campaign becomes that little more serious, there is one person who our alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson would rather stay out of sight, and indeed out of the country. That person is tech “entrepreneur” Jennifer Arcuri, with whom he may or may not have had a relationship while Mayor of London.

Jennifer Arcuri ((c) ITV News)

The problem for Bozo is that Ms Arcuri has declined to grant his wish, and indeed has railed the stakes by featuring in an ITV Exposure edition to be broadcast later today. Here, she will assert that Bozo has refused to take her calls. She will also assert that her relationship with him lasted for a whole four years, during which time he made nine declarations of interest to the City Hall monitoring officer.

And he did not mention her in his declarations once. Not once. Quite apart from the deceit, which is par for the course with Bozo, is the now very real prospect that Ms Arcuri, always good to spot a financially beneficial opportunity, may spill the beans during the election campaign. She may, whisper it quietly, have already spilled them.

Here’s what she said, addressing him directly: “I’ve been nothing but loyal, faithful, supportive, and a true confidante of yours … I’ve kept your secrets, and I’ve been your friend. And I don’t understand why you’ve blocked me and ignored me as if I was some fleeting one-night stand or some girl that you picked up at a bar because I wasn’t - and you know that. And I’m terribly heartbroken by the way that you have cast me aside like I am some gremlin”. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Hello Bozo.

“I’ve kept your secrets”. The phrase that should be sending a chill down Tory spines right now, along with the idea that Ms Arcuri was “a true confidante”. What dirt does she have on him? Indeed, if he confided in her about anyone else, what dirt does she have on them? Which part of the press or broadcast media might already have the story ready to run? What can the Tories do to stop the revelations?

There are, as Jon Stewart might have said, two things here. One, if Ms Arcuri has indeed been a confidante of Bozo, she will know which parts of the UK media will keep schtum on his behalf - and which will not. She might, as a result, spill the beans to a media outlet outside the UK. And Two, this once again reflects very badly on our free and fearless press, which would have been all over this relationship, had it not been a Tory politician.

And a Tory politician who was one of theirs (see also under Michael “Oiky” Gove). Had it been a senior Labour figure, we would have known about Ms Arcuri, or her left-leaning equivalent, years ago. Part of the reason we are only now learning about her and Bozo is not because of what the press chooses to say, but what it chooses not to say.

Worst of all, she suggests she was not his only extra-curricular interest: “On another occasion, shortly after Johnson became prime minister, Arcuri says she was very keen to speak to him because she had heard that reporters were contacting her friends … ‘When I expressed the interest to want to speak to him, I was told: “There are bigger things at stake”, and I was brushed off as if I was one of Kennedy’s girlfriends showing up to his White House switchboard’”. So Bozo was that serious a philanderer, was he?

Bozo thought his media pals would protect him. This may be beyond their grasp already.

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