It’s The Pravda Telegraph!

The General Election campaign officially begins today. And to celebrate this event, the central praesidium of the Dominic Cumminist Party (himself) has emerged from the tapestry room of his Islington dacha to proclaim the superior virtues of The (allegedly) Great And Benevolent Leader Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, accomplished through the good offices of official party organ, the Pravda Telegraph.

To no surprise, the target of this official Zhdanov-style denunciation is the Marxist running dog Jeremy Corbyn, focus of counter-revolutionary anti-party elements. After informing loyal readers who are still awake “Boris Johnson launches Conservative campaign exclusively in the Telegraph”, the thoughts of Chairman Bozo are laid out for all to see.

“The tragedy of the modern Labour Party under Jeremy Corbyn is that they detest the profit motive so viscerally … they point their fingers at individuals with a relish and vindictiveness not seen since Stalin persecuted the kulaks” thunders the headline, devalued a little by a photo of Bozo, er, pointing his finger at individuals with a relish.

This latest communiqué from Moscow Centre, er, sorry, Buckingham Palace Road continues “BORIS JOHNSON today compares Jeremy Corbyn to Stalin over his ‘hatred’ of wealth creators as he says the Tories will ‘cheer, not sneer’ entrepreneurs if they are returned to power … [he] says Brexit will unlock ‘hundreds of billions of pounds of investment in the UK', but that Labour would deliver nothing but further delay”.

The only thing missing from the denunciation of Unperson Corbyn is the good news about increased tractor production under the ever-watchful eye and wise helmsmanship of the great Bozo. Sadly, though, apart from confirming that a former paper of record has now been reduced to the role of sub-Soviet propaganda sheet, this is total bunk.

Wealth creators, as any fule kno, include those whose labour generates the wealth - those at the bottom of the pile. And Jezza is all in favour of backing them. He’s all in favour of backing anyone else, providing they pay their taxes. Worse, the use of totalitarian dictator comparisons by Bozo to demonise opponents is starting to wear thin.

That’s because we have been here before. Many, many times before, in fact. Two and a half years ago, Adam Bienkov, who has been following Bozo’s machinations for some time now, brought Politics Home readers “The many times Boris Johnson compared his opponents to murderous tyrants”. Many times? He wasn’t exaggerating.

In 2002, he compared supporters of the Euro to Hitler. In 2014, he compared Tony Blair to Hitler. In that same year, he also compared actor and campaigner George Clooney to Hitler, while in 2011 he only compared Gordon Brown to Muammar Gaddafi. Liberal Democrat London Assembly member Caroline Pidgeon was, in the meantime, compared to the Taliban for questioning Bozo’s attachment to the Garden Bridge project.

Both comprehensive education, and University admission officers, were compared to Pol Pot, although neither is known for its genocidal tendencies. The Telegraph front page article is, therefore, merely another recycled Bozo rant to no real purpose.

But good to see the election campaign has already reached rock bottom. Na Zdorovie!

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