We’re Walking Away But It’s Not Our Fault

As if to demonstrate that the adults are yet to take control of the pointless farce masquerading as the Brexit negotiations, yesterday’s bullish demands penned by our alleged Prime Minister Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson - and duly rejected by the EU - have given way to the mardy strop of the UK telling anyone who will listen that it really is taking its bat home. And, as before, it’s all someone else’s fault.

Any more bright ideas, Dom?

Bozo The Clown’s letter to outgoing European Council President Donald Tusk said, more or less, that the Irish backstop should be ditched because the UK would come up with some kind of alternative arrangement that would prove acceptable. The problem for Bozo was that this was not yet in place. So he told Tusk “trust me”. Tusk, not surprisingly, declined the offer to put his trust in a congenital liar like Bozo.

Back to Square One. And so begins another futile gesture, as the BBC has reported: “Boris Johnson is set to meet German Chancellor Angela Merkel in Berlin later, where he is expected to reiterate his call for the backstop plan to be scrapped … But the EU has rejected the possibility of any changes to the backstop”. So why’s he going?

“Mr Johnson said the EU's response to his demands was ‘a bit negative’ … However he said he would enter Brexit talks with ‘a lot of oomph’ and there was ‘a real sense that something needs to be done’ with the backstop”. But there won’t be any Brexit talks with the German leader. At least, not the kind that will move the process forward.

So begins the next stage in the combination of bluff and blame. First the bluff, as has featured on several front pages this morning, from Metro “WE SLASH EU TIES IN TEN DAYS”, to the Express’ “BRITAIN STARTS TO WALK AWAY FROM EU”, to the Telegraph “Brexit starts ‘in 10 days’ as envoys told to break ties”, with the Times adding “Rebels can’t halt no-deal, EU warned by Johnson”. We’re leaving and we really mean it!

Over in Brussels and Strasbourg, all that can be heard are the combined sounds of crickets and tumbleweed. As the Guardian’s Jennifer Rankin has observed, “UK has given its vote to Finland (current EU presidency holder) meaning its absence shouldn't block EU decisions. In other words - give up control”. And then has come the blame game.

Once again, this involves our free and fearless press lying about the EU in a pointless bid to keep public opinion behind the Bozo cause. That lying is typified by former Theresa May éminence grise Nick Timothy claiming “Varadkar can blame Britain all he likes - but he is the real threat to peace”. He goes on to tell “the Taoiseach’s hardline stance on the backstop risks bringing back a hard border and destabilising the Good Friday Agreement”.

This is the most flagrant spreading of bullshit. The line taken is the EU’s line, and is not taken by member states in isolation. The bluff - walking away prematurely from EU meetings - will have no effect at all. The blame game will be similarly ineffective. The nation state-level game of chicken war-gamed by Bozo’s chief polecat Dominic Cummings has not worked, is not working, and is not going to work. Full stop, end of story.

What we have here is the ultimate toxic combination of ineptitude, brinkmanship, bluster, dishonesty, delusion and dereliction of duty. Our only hope is that the grownups finally agree to get their act together - and end the idiocy. For good.

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